Flicker
by agrove
Summary: Sequel to Contrast. Life is going well for Tish and Priestly but what happens when relatives, old friends, and Priestly's inner demons get involved?
1. Chapter 1

**Here we go, the sequel to Contrast. This story is going to follow Tish and Priestly as they deal with random events and life in general. If you haven't noticed this fic is rated M (for language and the once in a while sex scene), not T like Contrast. Hope you enjoy!**

"Everybody relax!" came a loud voice from the door. Turning everyone looked at the colorful man before he burst into a silly jig. Completing his dance he ripped off his sunglasses announcing, "I'm here."

Tish rolled her eyes and pulled him in for a quick kiss as he passed. "You're late, again."

"I know. A wheel broke off my board, I had to walk the last two miles" he groaned while searching for his apron, "Then, my iPod died and while I was messing with the cord I tripped and almost face planted. I'm waiting for the freaking sky to fall on me. Murphy's Law people, be warned!"

Trucker removed his reading glasses and laughed, "Poor baby."

Priestly finally found his apron and tied it around him. He turned to face Trucker who was once again sitting in a booth trying to do paperwork. "Yes I am, and I thank you for your sarcastic sympathy."

Finally getting settled Priestly noticed Tish's nervous fidgeting and glances towards him. He walked over and leaned down to whisper to her, "Everything cool?"

She raked a hand through her hair, which Priestly recognized as her nervous gesture.

He was getting anxious, Tish was hardly ever nervous. "Come on Tish, what's up?"

She bit her lip uneasily, "Later, ok?"

"Ya, no worries" he whispered back, giving her a small kiss. He stepped away and went back to cleaning the grill. "Today's topic of conversation, why 'cool as a cucumber'? Aren't other things cooler, assuming you are of course talking about the temperature and not the coolness of a cucumber which is not really cool at all."

Trucker ignored him completely still submerged in his taxes or whatever he was always working on. (Priestly wondered if he was an accountant in a past life_._) Piper however just stared, before giving him a nod of approval. It was a pretty good question. Priestly stared at everyone around him, "Nothing? Come on people stimulate those brain cells!" He waited for Tish to join the discussion but she never did. She just stood leaning against the register biting her nails. Priestly finished cleaning the grill and turned towards her frowning. Hearing a rustling he looked at Trucker who was gathering his papers, "Ok everybody, time to work or at least pretend to. At least act like I pay you guys for something."

Seeing the sky turn darker everyone was relieved when they finally flipped over the open sign. It had been busy today, tourist season in full swing. Priestly wiped down the tables while Tish cleaned the counters, Piper had already gone home. Once finished Priestly followed Tish out to her car, thankful she had offered him a ride. _Stupid board. _Once he had deposited his bag into the backseat he had promptly climbed in the front and closed his eyes. Tish drove slowly, enjoying the night driving when there were hardly any cars on the road. A few minutes later she pulled up to the familiar curb and put the car in park. She sat in silence, lost in her thoughts before she removed the keys from the ignition and turned to her boyfriend.

"Wake up, we're here."

Priestly yawned and sat up. "You want to come in?" he asked with a suggestive wag of his eyebrows.

"Yes, but not for that reason, we need to talk."

The smile instantly disappeared from Priestly's face, "Uh, ya let's go talk."

Priestly grabbed his bag from the back and got out of the car. He slowly walked to the door, Tish directly behind him. His mind was racing, _did I do something wrong_? He tried to think of anything he had done lately but nothing seemed to come to mind. He pushed open the door and threw down his bag and worthless longboard. Pulling Tish to the couch they both sat down heavily.

He steeled himself before finally asking, "So what's up?"

Tish blew out a breath before blurting out, "My brother's coming to visit."

Priestly let out a bark of laughter. "Seriously, that's what you wanted to talk about? I thought you were going to dump me."

"What? No! Everything's good between us…right?" she trailed off uncertain.

"Yes, right. So what's the big deal with big bro coming for a visit?" He leaned back and sunk into the couch, trying to make his eyelids cooperate and stay open.

Tish sprung from the couch, surprising Priestly and started pacing nervously. "He's staying with me, and he's _really _protective. Last time he knew I had a boyfriend he scared him away."

Priestly rose from the couch reluctantly and walked over to Tish grabbing her by the hips, "Then it's a good thing I'm '_cool as a cucumber'." _Seeing no reaction he deflated slightly before becoming serious. "Then it's a good thing I don't scare easily right?" He really wasn't seeing the big deal here.

Tish huffed, "No, you don't get it. He's a cop Priestly; he's with the FBI. He's going to give you the third degree and try to do a background check. What if he finds out about everything? What if he takes you away?"

He let go of his girlfriend's hips and hugged her closely finally able to understand what had her so riled up. "No worries baby, he doesn't even know my name. Everything's gonna be fine." He was proud of how confident he sounded because inside he was sweating.

Tish's eyebrows knitted together as she wriggled out of his grasp, "What do you mean he doesn't know your name, he's going to hear someone say Priestly."

He pursed his lips together and cursed his stupid slip. Realizing he was walking on thin ice he carefully worded his next sentence. "Priestly's not my name, it's my middle name."

Priestly flinched when Tish exploded. "So I don't even know your name?" she asked incredulously. "Well what the hell is it?"

He suddenly found his socks fascinating. "Come on Tish, it's horrible."

She grabbed him by the chin and forced his eyes to hers. "You have two seconds buddy."

Priestly sighed heavily before leaning forward and whispering his name into her ear. Tish leaned back slowly, a smile playing on her lips. "You're shitting me?"

He huffed, agitated. "No I'm not, and you better not ever repeat it."

She grinned wickedly. "Or what Renaissance man? What are you going to do about it?" she challenged playfully. Her answer was Priestly throwing her over his shoulder and depositing her onto his bed. She screamed and giggled in delight.

"I'll show you."

Relaxing in the afterglow of their passion Tish traced the tattoo on Priestly's chest, "I'm scared Priestly."

Not needing to ask what she was referring to he answered, "How can I help you not be scared?"

She lifted her head and propped herself up on his chest, brown eyes meeting green. "I think it would be best if he didn't know we're together."

Priestly's emerald eyes widened, "Seriously? Like for how long?"

"He'll only be here a week."

Seeing her frightened eyes Priestly blew out a frustrated and resigned breath, "If that's what it takes to make you feel better, then that's what we'll do. Why don't you tell me about him."

A smile appeared on Tish's face as she spoke about her sibling. "Well, he's a pretty big guy. Like I said he works for the FBI. His names Joe and he's 29. He loves football and classic cars. And he's really protective." Priestly could hear the love and pride in her voice as she spoke about him.

_Big guy, FBI, really protective. Wonderful _"When's he coming?"

She cast him an apologetic look, "Tomorrow."

Nodding he looked at her still worried eyes and flipped her underneath him, "Then I guess we better make tonight count."


	2. Chapter 2

**For Joe, I totally pictured Dwayne Johnson (The Rock).**

The next morning when Priestly woke up he was alone in the large bed. He groaned, dreading the next few lonely days. After getting ready for work he walked to the door and glared at his broken board that had betrayed him. Returning to his room he dug out the parts to fix it and sat down to mend his broken transportation. Once he was satisfied it was not going to break again he took the board outside and hurried to work. It was a little after two when Tish walked into the grill with an unknown man.

Tish and the man walked to the counter before she introduced the stranger. "Hey everybody! This is my brother Joe." Piper and Jen nodded politely with wide eyes and introduced themselves. Trucker wiped his hands off on a rag and walked over to shake the large man's hand.

"If you don't mind my asking what is it you do Joe?"

Joe smiled at the hippie's firm grip, he could appreciate that. "I'm with the FBI."

Priestly, who had been staring with a slacked jaw expression this whole time finally spoke.

"Holy shit you're huge. How many wheaties do you eat in the morning?" Priestly could only gape at the massive man next to his girlfriend. He was at least 6'4" and was pure muscle. Priestly wasn't exactly sure how he even fit into Tish's car.

"And you are…?" Joe asked. He wanted to laugh at the kid's appearance but something stopped him. Joe liked to consider himself a pretty good judge of character, after all his job depended on it. He took in the man's bright blue mohawk, tattoos, piercings and pale blue shirt that read _'The jerk store called. They're running out of you'_. He also noticed the eyeliner, chipped black nail polish, rings, and spiked cuffs. What concerned him though was that even though the guy seemed simple and silly there was a nervous air about him. Like he was expecting Joe to attack him or something.

"Priestly" he answered with a defiant incline of his head.

Joe's attention was again grabbed by the bright blue hair, "Nice hair there buddy" he stated in a condescending tone.

Priestly opened his mouth to fire a retort but at the last second settled for a glare. He turned around to face the grill to avoid saying something he might regret. The last thing he wanted to do was upset Tish, or draw attention to himself.

Sensing the hostility Tish changed the subject and explained their visit, "I thought we'd swing by here to get some lunch. Six inch veggie for me and a twelve inch turkey for Joe."

Piper wrote down the order and turned to begin making the sandwiches as Tish and her brother slid into a booth.

Joe turned his attention to his little sister, "So what's new?"

"Not much, just working here."

Joe nodded before going for the jugular, "You got a boyfriend or anybody I should know about?"

As much as it killed her to say it she stuck to the plan, "Nope, no one right now." Trucker, Jen, and Piper looked at each other surprised but stayed silent. She saw Priestly in her peripheral vision approach the table with the two subs. He met her eyes for a fraction of a second before turning away from the table. He had been watching them since they came in. He was finding it much harder than anticipated to act like he and Tish weren't together.

Joe began unwrapping the sub and jerked his thumb towards the counter, "Well as long as you don't end up with somebody like that guy we're good."

Tish noticed Priestly's steps falter slightly, but he kept walking until he was back behind the counter. Piper, Jen, and Trucker cast nervous glances at each other, hopefully this wouldn't get ugly.

She glared at her brother. "Why would you say that? You don't even know him."

Joe shrugged, "Well he looks like a freak."

The sound of a knife being stabbed forcefully into the cutting board made everyone freeze. Feeling everyone's eyes on his back Priestly threw down his apron and announced he was gong on break. Tish could only watch as Priestly disappeared into the back fuming.

"You're an ass Joe, these are my friends. Get over yourself!" she whispered furiously before getting up and running to find Priestly.

She found him in the back of the restaurant pacing back and forth. She immediately walked over and grabbed him into a hug, rubbing the back of his neck affectionately. "Don't listen to him. You're not a …" she never said freak, 'Priestly' and 'freak' weren't two words that should be in the same sentence. "You're Priestly, my Priestly. I'm sorry by brother's such an ass."

He forced himself to relax and kissed Tish, "I'm sorry, it just caught me off guard. Everything's fine, no worries. You better get back in there, he might come looking for you."

"I know," she whispered before kissing him one last time. She walked back into the grill, sparing one last glance at her boyfriend who was watching her with hurt eyes.

She walked back to the booth and snatched her purse forcefully, "Come on let's go."

Joe sighed and followed her out into the warm California sun. _She's pissed._ "Look I'm sorry ok? Where is he, I'll go apologize."

Tish stared at him, wondering if it was a good idea for Priestly and Joe to talk again. Trusting her brother she answered, "Out back, and you better be nice."

Joe nodded and walked around the back of the building. Turning the corner he saw the tattooed man leaning against the brick exterior. As he walked towards the man he began to grow apprehensive. There was something about the man he just did not trust.

Priestly cautiously watched the man approach him. "What the hell do you want?" he snapped. He knew he shouldn't push his luck but he was still pissed.

"I came back here to apologize" he held out his hand "can we start over?"

Priestly eyed the hand wearily before stepping forward to shake it. He would do this for Tish. The second his hand was in Joe's hand he felt Joe squeeze hard. The man kept squeezing Priestly's hand, almost crushing it until Priestly was brought down to his knees gasping.

_Not my bad hand, not my bad hand!_ Priestly screamed in his mind.

Forcing himself to not show too much pain Priestly bit out, "What the hell's your problem? Huh?"

Joe kept his death grip on the younger man's hand and pointed a long finger in his face, "You, you're my problem. I saw the way you looked at my sister. You stay the fuck away from her, got it? She's not interested in a piece of shit like you. I don't trust you. I know you're hiding something jackass, and I will find out what it is."

Joe finally released the younger man's hand and disappeared around the corner of the building. Finally alone Priestly gripped his right wrist and squeezed it tightly. The pain was unbearable. The bastard had tried to crush Priestly's bad hand and now he couldn't get his fingers to go straight, they were stuck in a loose fist. Tears sprung into his eyes as he tried over and over to get his hand to work with no avail. He forced himself off his knees and back into the restaurant. When he entered Jen and Piper were missing but Trucker was still there. He instantly noticed the young man clutching his right wrist, "Priestly, what happened?"

"Nothing, can I head out early today?" he ground out. The ache in his hand was starting to spread up his arm.

Looking at Priestly's shaking hands he asked again, needing to know what happened.

He finally answered, "That fucker tried to crush my bad hand" he felt tears forming in his eyes again, "Truck I can't straighten my hand."

Trucker heard the panicked undertones in the young man's voice, "Go, go take care of your hand. Take tomorrow off too." He watched the younger man grab his things. He wanted to kill Tish's brother for harming Priestly but knew he had to let it go, it wasn't his place to get involved this time.

When Priestly reached the front door he turned. "Thanks Truck, don't tell Tish ok?"

Trucker looked like he wanted to object but held his tongue, "Ok."

Priestly ended up walking home, his hand hurting so badly he couldn't focus on riding. When he finally got inside his apartment he got a bowl of ice water and dipped his pounding appendage in it. He couldn't believe Tish's brother had done that, who did he think he was? Grinding his teeth in anger he grabbed the remote and turned on the tv trying to distract himself.

A few hours later he felt his phone buzz from his pocket. Digging it out with his left hand he saw a new text from Tish. He smiled as he opened the message.

'_Miss you'_

Even though it was slightly difficult with his left hand, he texted back. _'miss you too. where r u?'_

A second later his phone buzzed again, _'home, want to meet up?'_

Frowning at his still throbbing right hand he answered,_ 'not tonight, tired'_

'_ok night'_

'_night'_

Priestly chucked his phone across the couch in frustration. He hated not seeing Tish, especially because of her asshole brother. He flipped off the tv, walked to his room and climbed under the covers, waiting to fall asleep and for this horrible day to end.


	3. Chapter 3

**Special thanks to ****inspirationimagination for the reviews, you rock! Also, thanks to everyone else who added alerts!**

A few hours after the sun had broken across the horizon Priestly was awoken by a faint ringing sound, he looked around but couldn't find the source. As the fog cleared from his mind he realized it was his phone that was ringing, he looked on the nightstand and in his clothes from the previous day. _Where the hell did I put that…the couch!_ He jumped from the bed and ran to the couch digging in the cushions with his left hand for the noisy object.

Finally finding it he hurriedly flipped it open. "Hello?" he panted.

"Why are you out of breath?" came an amused female voice across the line.

Priestly smiled and sat down on the couch, "A gentlemen never tells."

"Then it's a good thing you're not a gentleman" Tish joked.

"Your words wound me."

"So where are you? I thought you had to work today?" Priestly was pleased to notice she sounded nervous, not suspicious.

He tried to come up with someway to not lie, but not tell her about her brother. The last thing he wanted to do was cause problems between Tish and Joe. He knew she missed him a lot and he definitely wasn't going to be the reason for messing up the visit.

"My hands acting up." It sounded lame even to him but seemed to work.

Tish was instantly concerned, "Are you ok? Do you want me to come over?"

_Yes! _He wanted to shout."No, no it's fine. Go enjoy your day with your brother."

He heard her sigh softly. "Ok, well I better go. I'll talk to you later."

"Bye Tish" he whispered and flipped the phone shut.

Hearing the line disconnect Tish tucked her phone back in her purse. She knew something was going on with Priestly, but couldn't push it because her brother was here. She was glad Joe was visiting, she hadn't seen him for over a year but she was still stuck on how rude he had been to Priestly. Tish turned around in her chair when she heard heavy footsteps pounding towards her.

"Hey _Platisha _you ready to go?" Joe asked coming around the corner. He knew she hated her name, he would too if it was that bad. Thank god his parents had picked a normal name for him.

She glared. "Don't call me that, you know I hate it _Josephine_. So what do you want to do today?"

He smiled at her use of his name. It felt good to be back with his sister. "How about the beach?"

Tish slipped on her sandals and smiled, any day at the beach was a good day. "Sounds good!"

Even though the day went quickly for Tish it crawled by for Priestly. He watched tv, watched movies, did laundry, and even cleaned under the couch. He would have played on his Playstation but his out of commission right hand nixed that idea. Seeing it was finally starting to get dark he made himself a quick dinner and poured himself a large glass of Kool-aid. He stared at the red liquid and smiled, thinking of the first time Tish saw his many pitchers of the colored drink. Finishing his dinner he rose and placed the dishes in the sink instead of washing them, figuring he had done enough for one day. Priestly then flexed his hand experimentally hoping his range of motion had improved. He was pleased to find it was doing a lot better but unfortunately was still extremely weak. His mind wandered to Joe and how he had dropped him with a handshake, _prick._ His male pride had definitely taken a huge hit. Not wanting to upset himself he went to the living room to watch another movie and get his mind off the fact that he was alone tonight and Tish was hanging out with the worlds biggest douche. After the closing credits started to roll he looked at his well-worn watch, 10:45. He glanced at his phone thinking of Tish. Getting an idea he grabbed his phone and sent a text.

'_What are you wearing?'_

He waited a few minutes for a response but one never came. Thinking she must already be asleep Priestly set his phone down, but hurriedly snatched it back when it vibrated.

'_perv'_

He grinned widely._ 'yup, come on tell me'_

'_nope, you'll just have to come see'_

'_bro?'_

'_asleep' _

That was all the affirmation Priestly needed. Hurriedly putting on his shoes he grabbed his board and headed towards Tish's house. Once he was by the house he picked up his longboard and carefully walked around to the back of the house towards Tish's window. His mind raced for a moment when he passed the guest room window. Joe was here, in this house. It kind of felt like a suicide mission but hey, danger was his middle name. Well, it was actually Priestly but whatever. Knowing Tish's window would be unlocked he quietly lifted the glass, threw his board in and slipped inside.

"Hey Renaissance man, about time you got here." Priestly felt his throat go dry at the sight of his girlfriend. Lying on top of the covers in nothing but a black thong and lacy bra she looked like something out of a magazine. She even had on 6" black pumps, _talk about a wet dream_. Grinning widely he pulled off his shirt and climbed on top of her.

"Less talk" he mumbled against her lips. She grinned, flipped him onto his back and unbuckled his belt and pants before tugging them off. She climbed back on top of him; he loved when she took control. He expertly unclasped her bra and pulled her closer, reveling in her touch and smell. He had never known a woman's skin could feel this soft, could be this perfect. When he felt his boxers being removed by small nimble fingers his mind went blank, a coherent thought the furthest thing from his mind.

An hour later Tish lay panting heavily in the bed while Priestly slipped on his boxers. She giggled when she saw that his boxers read 'Man of Ill Repute' across them. Reality crashed down on her when she saw the way her boyfriend's right hand was trembling.

"Let me see your hand" Tish asked softly.

Priestly reluctantly walked back to the bed and laid back down next to her before holding it up for her to see, "It's feeling better, it's just weak."

Tish lightly grasped it and rubbed his fingers, "What happened, it was fine when I saw you."

He did not want to lie to Tish, he was a lot of things but a liar wasn't one of them. He decided deflection would be the best tactic. "No worries, it's fine now. Close your eyes and go to bed," he murmured to her, pulling his hand back to his side.

Tish yawned sleepily and turned onto her side burrowing into her plush pillows, "Are you going to leave soon?"

He smiled sadly, "Unfortunately. I'll stay for a bit though."

Priestly rolled over and spooned Tish, wrapping his large body around her smaller frame. She snuggled into his embrace and mumbled a tired "good."


	4. Chapter 4

Priestly had woken up in many different places and in many different ways during his life. He had woken in alleyways, strange women's houses, cars, and soft beds. He had been awoken by police sirens, strangers, ringing phones, and alarm clocks. But this, this definitely had to be the worst. The last thing he remembered was wrapping himself around Tish's warm body and clutching her tightly to his chest, listening to the soft lullaby of her slow breathing. Now he felt himself being lifted, which was quite an experience and slammed into a wall, two large hands wrapped around his neck. Even though his mind was still half asleep his survival instincts kicked in to high gear. Choking and gasping for air he clawed at the his attackers hands trying to get oxygen into his lungs.

Joe's face was contorted with raw anger as he yelled into the face of the struggling man, "I told you to stay away from my sister! She is not an easy fuck you piece of shit!"

Tish, who had slipped on Priestly's shirt shrieked at her out of control sibling. She saw Priestly's panicked eyes screaming for help, she saw his hands try uselessly to ease the painful grip from his neck, she saw his legs and feet trying to find footing even though he was at least a foot off the ground. Paranoia hit her when she noticed his flailing limbs and clawing hands were slowing in their movement as his eyelids started to slide shut.

Priestly could hear Tish screaming but the sound was becoming muffled and far away. His mind thought of all the times his dad had choked him, how the hands that should have brought him comfort and love had brought him pain and fear. He remembered looking into eyes black with hate, and smelling cheap whisky and old cigarettes before he would thankfully lost conciseness. All those times he had wanted to die, to go to sleep and never wake up. Now though, now he had something to live for and he realized it was still screaming. He fought hard against the black dots that began swimming in his vision but everything was quickly turning dark.

_This is it, I'm going to die right here. In my fucking underwear._

Without warning he felt himself drop to the floor in a heap, the crushing pressure around his throat gone. He collapsed onto his side and began trying to suck in gulps of oxygen into his starved lungs, which would have worked if he wasn't coughing and hacking.

Tish suddenly appeared in front of his face, "Breath Priestly, small breaths. Come on." Terror filled and black outlined green eyes tried to focus on his girlfriend's words. Seeing he was breathing halfway ok she turned to her brother and began yelling again.

"What is wrong with you! You don't just burst into my room and attack people!"

Joe yelled right back at his sister, "That little prick's just using you! You should have seen how he kept staring at you when we had lunch!"

"He's my boyfriend!" she screamed.

The room was filled with silence, the only noise coming from Priestly's wheezing breaths. The whole scene was like something out of a bad movie, except instead of an angry husband there was an irate brother.

Joe stared incredulously at the rasping man, "Him? Please tell me you're joking Tish. Something's not right about this guy, he's hiding something. Do you know I tried to do a background check and there is no 'Priestly' in Santa Cruz?"

Fed up and wanting to make sure Priestly was ok she screamed at the top of her lungs, "Get out!" Joe finally left the room, harshly slamming the door on his way out.

Tish dropped back down next to Priestly and helped him into a sitting position. "Are you ok baby?"

"Fine" he rasped. In all honesty he wasn't fine, someone had just tried to kill him, but he didn't want Tish to worry anymore than she already was. He gingerly felt his neck that he was sure was going to bruise if it hadn't already. "Your brother's kind of a dick."

Tish released a soft laugh, thankful that Priestly was alright. "Ya he kind of is. Come on lets get dressed." Tish helped him to his feet and handed Priestly back his shirt and the two finished dressing. While pulling her hair into a messy bun Tish noticed Priestly was having trouble buttoning his pants, "You need help?"

Priestly looked at her with an ashamed expression and pained eyes, "Please, damn hand won't work." He felt pathetic.

Tish walked over and helped him, "Maybe we should go to the doctor or something."

He smiled internally of her use of 'we'. "No it'll be ok. Should I leave through the widow or…" He felt like a teenager caught in a girlfriend's room by her parents. _Ah, memories._

Tish grabbed his left hand and pulled him towards the door, "No, you're going to walk out this door like you deserve. I'm sorry everything got so screwed up."

He jerked her arm to twist her around and kiss her, "No worries, just keep me away from the hulk."

Tish offered a small smile and swung open the door and pulled Priestly into the living room where Joe was pacing back and forth. Seeing them holding hands Joe instantly started shouting again, "I told you to stay away!"

Priestly subconsciously grabbed his right wrist and moved behind Tish. Whether he knew it or not his body couldn't take much more abuse and it reacted accordingly. Noticing his left hand tightly clenching his right wrist Tish reeled on her brother. "You! You're the one who hurt his hand?" She couldn't believe it, her brother had not only lied to her but had betrayed her trust.

Joe lifted his chin boldly, "What if I did? I barely touched him Tish, he's exaggerating."

Tish walked up to the huge man's chest and poked him with her finger, "You don't know what you're talking about so shut up. You're almost thirty Joe, sit down and lets talk like adults."

Joe stared at her before glaring at Priestly and taking a seat on the couch, knowing this way Priestly and Tish couldn't sit next to each other. Priestly skirted along the outside of the room as far away from Joe as possible before lowering himself into the chair never taking his eyes off of the angry man. Joe was please to notice that the green haired man looked ready to bolt at any moment. Surprising them both Tish walked over and sat on Priestly's lap.

"Ok, let's talk. _Calmly_."

As predicted Joe started the conversation, "I thought you said you didn't have a boyfriend Tish."

"I lied."

"Why? I mean unless you're embarrassed of him, I would be."

Priestly finally lost it; he had been holding it together this whole time but couldn't keep his mouth shut any longer. Fear was quickly replaced by anger. "What the fuck is your problem? You've been on me since you met me." He probably would have sounded a lot more menacing if his voice hadn't come out as a harsh rasp.

Joe fixed him with a hard glare and accusatory finger. "I don't trust you and I know Tish could do better than the tattooed wonder."

Priestly scoffed, "Trust me? You don't even know me!"

"I know your type. I've dealt with little punks like you with the tattoos and piercings and the clothes. I bet you're an alcoholic, probably a user too. God only knows if you're a murderer or something because no one knows your real fucking name!" By the end of his tirade he was yelling again.

Priestly flinched and paled considerably listening to Joe. He was all of those things, Joe had guessed correctly on every count. To hear it out loud played on his insecurities, he sounded like such a loser. _Tish deserves better._ Trying to gain some composure he hoped the hulk on the couch didn't notice his tells.

Tish threw her hands up, "Woah! This is getting out of control. Joe, Priestly is my boyfriend deal with it or get out. End of discussion." All patience was gone, her tone and words deadly serious.

Seeing how serious his sister was he deflated instantly, his rage draining out of him. Taking a few cleansing breaths he somewhat calmly looked at his sister, "Tish, I'm sorry. When I saw him at your work I thought he was going to bother you. Then I see him in my little sister's bed and I lost it, I'm sorry. I have no right to question your decisions, you're an adult now."

She crossed her arms over her chest. "Thanks Joe, but I'm not the one you should be apologizing to."

Joe turned his attention to the now glaring man behind Tish, "Priestly, or whatever your real name is, I'm sorry. You're right, I don't know you and seeing as you're dating my little sister I'd like the opportunity."

"You tried to choke me to death and fucked up my hand" Priestly ground out, "so you'll have to excuse me for declining your offer." _AKA Fuck you._

Joe's shoulders dropped. "Is your hand really that bad? I wanted to scare you, not injure you. I've got some medical training, you mind if I take a look?"

"I'd rather you not" he deadpanned.

"I know I deserve that but please man, let me try to make it up."

Priestly quickly met Tish's eyes, silently asking if he should trust her brother. Tish answered by hoping off his lap to allow Joe access. Priestly eyed the man for a few more tense seconds before finally agreeing. Joe stood up and slowly approached the injured man, acting like he was advancing on a wounded animal. Priestly watched his every move with weary eyes, hardly blinking. When Joe reached the chair he slowly grasped Priestly's right wrist and examined the hand.

He frowned when he looked at it. "You've got a lot of scars on this hand, what happened?"

"Nothing" Priestly barked.

Accepting that it wasn't his business he gently grabbed the wounded man's fingers and tried to stretch them. He heard a hiss of pain and immediately released the fingers. "I feel terrible man, I had no idea your hand was already injured. It looks like it's going to be ok but I'm sure it hurts like a son of a bitch."

Priestly didn't respond, just pulled his hand back to his side. Since he was so close Joe also looked at Priestly's neck, dark bruises were starting to form along the front and sides. "God man, I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. Are you breathing ok?"

"I'm fine," he wheezed.

Joe nodded and disappeared from the room returning a few seconds later with two beers. He held one out to Priestly, "Peace offering."

Priestly stared at the beer, his mind warring with itself. His heart began to pound as he watched small beads of sweat gather and run down the smooth, dark brown glass exterior before dripping off the bottom into the abyss. This morning had been so stressful he could use the drink. His tongue flicked over his lips as his left hand twitched, wanting to grab the bottle. He hated that the temptation was always there, taunting him. With a strained voice he finally spoke. "No thanks"

Joe waved the bottle in front of him again, "Come on man, I know it's early but I for one could use one." Priestly watched the bottle swing back and forth in front of his face, taunting him. He looked away and shifted in the chair. His body suddenly felt to small, like he couldn't stretch out all the way.

Seeing Priestly looking all kinds of awkward Tish came to his rescue, "Priestly doesn't drink Joe." Joe looked at the other man and could see how uncomfortable he was, _and I read body language for a living _he thought depreciatively.

"I just can't seem to do right with you huh?" He set the beer down on the coffee table far away from Priestly. "You recovering or what?"

Priestly just continued glaring at the man, hating that he was feeling exposed in front of Tish's asshole of a brother. Not only had he injured him and emasculated him in front of his girlfriend, but now he wanted Priestly to admit a weakness, a vulnerability to him.

Joe watched the young man continue to try to kill him with his eyeballs. "I'm just trying to get to know you, you're obviously important to Tish."

Priestly rolled his eyes and leaned back in the chair, deciding this would move faster and be over with sooner if he just answered the guy's questions. "Ya, I'm recovering."

"How long?"

"Ninety three days." He couldn't help the small amount of pride in his voice, he was proud of his sobriety.

Joe nodded, "Good for you. So how long have you two been together?"

Seeing the worst had passed Tish sat down next to Joe and answered him, "About three months." Joe instantly noticed the coinciding numbers but didn't comment. Trying to keep the conversation going he asked the first thing that popped into his head.

"So you have any family around here or anything Priestly?"

Priestly swallowed thickly, "No, just me."

Joe could tell this was an uncomfortable subject so he moved on quickly, "So what do you do for fun? Maybe we can hang out when Tish works."

Priestly shot him an incredulous look, _ya cause hanging out with the fed who wants to kill me sounds like a bitchin' good time._

"I surf, and longboard."

The larger man's eyes lit up, "Really? I love to surf, maybe I can rent a board and we can go."

Priestly shook his head in disbelief, "We'll see."

Seeing that Priestly and Joe were getting along at least a little bit she announced she was going to shower then they could all go out to eat. As soon as she walked down the hall and closed the bathroom door Priestly stood up. "Peace, I'm out of here."

Joe raised his hand to stop him but stayed seated, trying to appear as non-threatening as possible. "Wait, Tish wants us to go out to eat together. I know I screwed up bad, give me a chance to make it right."

Priestly walked behind the chair; _at least if he attacks me I'll have something in between us._ "Why the hell should I give you anything? You fucking attacked me a couple hours ago! I don't want to surf with you; I don't want to hang out with you. Stay the hell away from me."

He somehow managed to not flinch as Joe stood up and walked over to him, the much larger man staring down at him. Joe watched Priestly's defiant glare before finally grinning, "I like you. You got balls kid."

Priestly's glare disappeared and was replaced with a dumbstruck look. He could not figure this guy out. He was broken out of his thoughts when Tish bounded back into the living room dressed in a short white sundress. Priestly couldn't help the smile that sprung to his lips, Tish was stunning.

"You two ready? Grab your board Priestly and we'll swing by your house."

Priestly nodded and walked into Tish's room grabbing his board and keys. The trio walked to Tish's car and Joe offered the front seat to Priestly, which was quite the grand gesture. Any other day Priestly would have laughed hysterically at the sight of a 6' 5" man in the back seat of a Mini Cooper but he wasn't feeling very cheerful today. When the music turned on Joe covered his ears, "What the hell is this shit?"

Tish sighed and turned off the stereo, Joe had just unknowingly insulted Priestly…again. Pulling up to his apartment Priestly got out without a word and disappeared inside. Tish sat for a few minutes before she turned to her brother in the back seat. "Stay."

Joe rolled his eyes at the canine request but wisely obeyed. Tish got out of the car and went inside to make sure Priestly was really doing ok. She found him in the bathroom already showered and fixing his hair. He was wearing a red and white shirt that read '_Relax, I'm Hilarious' _with baggy blue jeans, spiked cuffs, and a wallet chain.

"Everything ok?" she asked from the doorway.

He turned to her with sharp eyes, "Just great Tish, hey what color for my hair today blue or red? I want it to match my neck."

Tish pushed him against the sinks edge and kissed him deeply. "I know everything got way screwed up but he's my brother. I'm not asking you to be friends but please just try to get along with him this week. I want to hang out with both of you."

Priestly squeezed her butt and ground into her as he attacked her mouth. "I know, I'm just on edge."

Tish smiled devilishly, "I can fix that." Without hesitation Tish knelt down and freed Priestly from the confines of his baggy jeans, taking him wholly into her mouth. He gasped and placed a hand on the opposite wall to steady himself, the pleasure overwhelming. A short time later she zipped him back up and stood. "Feel better?" Priestly could only nod, his eyes dazed and half closed.

Tish smiled and traced her finger along his jaw line, "Good, now finish getting ready and lets go."

Priestly nodded again and turned to the mirror, deciding it was a magenta and spikes kind of day. After he finished his eyeliner and slipped on his aviators he walked to the living room a lazy smile on his lips, "Ok let's go."

They walked to the car and slid into their respective seats, Joe biting his tongue so hard he was surprised he didn't cut it in half. He saw Priestly's relaxed posture and small smile and knew exactly what had changed his attitude. He wanted to lean forward, wrap his hands around his throat and finish what he had started earlier but somehow managed to refrain and even answer Tish's question about lunch.

"Burgers ok?"

He met her eyes in the rearview mirror, "Ya, that sounds great sis."

They drove to the restaurant, forcing small talk along the way. When the old waitress came to take the orders her gaze landed on Priestly's hair, tattoos, and eventually the bruised neck. She glared at him before snappily taking his order and walking away. Shaking his head he turned back to Joe who was asking him a question.

"So you really dress like this everyday."

Priestly cocked an eyebrow, "Ya. You really dress like _that _everyday?"

Joe looked down at his clothes, "What's wrong with this?"

Priestly smirked, "You look like banana republic threw up on you."

Joe laughed, "Touché."

Tish smiled to herself, thankful that Joe was staying true to his word and trying to get to know her boyfriend. Priestly leaned back in the booth, "So what about you Joe, what do you do with the FBI?"

Joe adopted an excited and proud expression, "I work in homicide. I go after all the psychopaths, the murderers. I'm actually a Special Agent."

"Of course you are" Priestly mumbled under his breath before bringing his tone back to conversation levels. "Well that sounds interesting." The waitress chose that moment to bring the food to the table, after nicely setting down Joe and Tish's plates she unceremoniously dropped Priestly's plate and walked away. _Bitch._

Joe watched the young man struggle to lift his burger with his right hand before somewhat awkwardly grasping it in his left. Noticing his stare Priestly snapped an irritated, "What?"

Joe set down his burger and wiped his mouth. "I'm just so sorry about your hand and your neck, I feel terrible."

Priestly regarded the man carefully. He seemed like he really was remorseful and he was trying to make an effort. Sighing deeply he decided to let it go and actually try to get along with Joe. "You should be sorry you can't go around throttling people, but it's over. Let sleeping dogs lie."

Joe smiled, accepting his words. He couldn't believe it but he was actually starting to like this kid. He still felt like there was something he was missing but the man seemed to be on the straight and narrow. When they finished eating the waitress dropped the check on the table and turned to Priestly. "It's trouble makers like you that make me embarrassed to live here" she hissed.

Tish and Joe stared in shock at the woman's audacity and unfounded judgments. Priestly however, without missing a beat turned to the woman, "Was the ground cold when you crawled out this morning?" The women gaped and gasped before turning from the table and stomping away.

Joe could help himself, he burst into laughter, "That was pretty good."

Priestly grinned back, "Thanks, old hag had it coming. Come on let's get out of here."

After spending the afternoon together Priestly went home amazed that Joe really wasn't a bad guy, he just had a fierce protective streak. He walked to the bathroom to rinse out his hair and grimaced at the sight of his neck. Correction, make that a _very _fierce protective streak.


	5. Chapter 5

Priestly hummed to himself as he barreled towards the Beach City Grill, the wheels on his longboard rolling quickly over the cracks and dirt on the concrete sidewalk. He weaved in and out of various people effortlessly and automatically, which was a good thing because he wasn't paying attention in the slightest. Groovie Ghoulies' Chupacabra was blaring in his ears but he wasn't listening to the song, he was thinking about last night and earlier this morning.

Being attacked by Joe had brought up a lot of bad memories. It seemed like just when everything would start to fade away something would happen and everything would slap him in the face again. Terrible nightmares had plagued him last night, making this morning long and difficult. He had finally awoken to his blaring alarm exhausted and drained. He had pried himself from his bed and walked straight to the shower, hoping the water would somehow wash away his thoughts; unfortunately it had the opposite effect. Instead of washing everything down the drain the shower seemed to flood Priestly's thoughts and emotions until he felt like he was drowning in them. He had tried to ignore the wetness he felt in his eyes and the tightening in his abused throat but was unable to when a choked sob had escaped him. He had slowly slid down the shower wall into the tub, until he was curled into a small ball. Huge, shoulder shuddering sobs escaped him as his mind seemed to crumble. He hated how broken, how weak he was. He knew he should talk about it with Tish, with anyone because one day these mini meltdowns would turn into a full-blown mental breakdown that he wasn't sure he would recover from. Like the many times before though, he had slowly gathered himself and pushed everything deep down into the dark recesses of his mind.

Seeing the Grill he hopped off his board and jerked out his earbuds before pulling open the colorful screen door.

"What happened to your neck!" Jen asked as soon as he walked in the door. She rushed forward to inspect the angry bruises careful not to actually touch them.

"I had a run in with the hulk" he replied before skirting around her to search for his always disappearing apron. _Where did it always go? Who took it, gnomes? _

Jen's eyes widened, "Tish's brother? Are you ok?"

Priestly finally found his apron and held it over his head in a victorious stance. He tied it around his hips, leaned down on the counter next to Jen and did what he did best, deflected. "Everything's cool, so how's Fuzzy?"

Jen blushed, "His name is Jeff Priestly and he's good. We're going out tonight, he's taking me to that place on the beach."

He shook his head, "He's not a Jeff Jen, he's a Fuzzy. Wow, fancy."

Jen blushed again, "I know. Now come on let's get ready to open."

The day passed by quickly, Jen and Priestly enjoying each other's company, it wasn't often it was just the two of them. Waving at Jen when she got into Fuzzy's car he pulled out his phone to call his girlfriend and climbed onto his board. After a couple rings she answered in a husky voice, "What are you wearing?"

Priestly almost wrecked but caught himself and laughed, "That's my line."

He heard the soft laugh through the line, "How was work?"

"Good, just me and Jen today. She's going out with Fuzzy tonight."

"His name is Jeff. Our little girl is growing up so fast!"

He laughed, "Ya I know. I just wanted to let you know I'm not coming over tonight."

"Everything ok?" she asked wearily.

"Ya, just thought you'd enjoy the time with just your brother."

Tish smiled into the phone, "Thanks Priestly. I guess I'll…wait Joe wants to talk to you."

Knitting his eyebrows in confusion he heard shuffling before a deep voice came on. "Hey Priestly, you busy tomorrow?"

"Uh…no."

"Good. Tish has to work so I was wondering if you wanted to go surfing."

"Uh…sure." _Wait, did I really just say that?_

"Great, what time do you want me to pick you up?"

Priestly debated the pros and cons before answering, "I'll just meet you there at 11, no offense but I don't really trust being in a confined space with you."

He heard a baritone chuckle, "No problem, can't say I blame you. See you then."

Priestly heard shuffling again before Tish's voce came back onto the phone. "You're going surfing with Joe?"

"Guess so" he replied bewilderedly. He had no idea why he had agreed to this.

"Thanks Priestly, it means a lot to me."

"No worries, now get the hell away from Joe and tell me what you're wearing."

The next day Priestly arrived at the beach a few minutes after eleven. He attached his longboard to his backpack and began walking down the beach to where he could see Joe sitting. He couldn't believe he had agreed to this, maybe he was going crazy, or maybe he just didn't have any self-preservation. He always had been a pretty reckless guy. Getting closer he shook his head in disbelief at the huge lump sitting in the sand, the guy really was huge.

He tossed down his backpack next to the small mountain and asked, "You ready?"

Joe turned and saw Priestly standing there board in hand. His hair had no color in and was sticking up at random angles; he had obviously rolled out of bed and came straight here. He didn't have on any rings or bracelets, just board shorts and his piercings.

"You look different."

Priestly rolled his eyes, "No shit Sherlock, I can't surf in all that."

Joe laughed and stood up, "Let's go."

A few hours later the two sat on their boards floating a few feet apart, watching people walk around and lounge on the white sand. "That was fun, I haven't surfed in a while. You're pretty good," complemented Joe.

Priestly smirked, "Dude, I'm awesome. Plus the waves were good today." Silence descended on the pair again until Priestly started to speak. "So I gotta ask, what was your deal? What was your big beef with me?"

Joe paddled around his board to turn it so he could better face his surfing companion. "I'm assuming Tish told you our dad wasn't there growing up?" At Priestly's nod he continued, "Well without him I stepped up to the role, I took on the responsibility of taking care of Tish, which let me tell you wasn't easy once she hit puberty."

Priestly grinned, "I bet."

Joe laughed softly, "She kept coming home with all these losers, I hated it. I scared off most of them. Then she left for college and I couldn't be there anymore, but every time I see her I fall back into the dad mode."

"Understandable." Priestly looked down at his board, "If it's any consolation I really like Tish. I'm lucky to have her, she's out of my league and I know it."

Joe took in the younger mans slumped shoulders and self-depreciating tone. "Don't sell yourself short, you seem like a good guy Priestly."

Priestly didn't say anything, just sat on his board with his head down.

Joe licked his lips, _now or never._ "Priestly what's your real name?"

"Why?" he asked, poker face firmly in place.

The huge man sighed. "You know why Priestly, she's my sister and as much as I'm starting to like you I know you're hiding something."

He rubbed the back of his head, water droplets creating a rainbow as they flew through the air. "I've done a lot of things I'm not proud of Joe, a lot of things I wish I could take back. Tish knows almost everything."

"She know your name?"

Priestly's head jerked up as he glared at the older man who threw his hands up in a placating gesture, "I'm just asking. I wouldn't ask her, I know she wouldn't tell me."

Priestly stared at him a few more seconds before answering. "Ya, she knows my name."

Joe went for the kill shot. "So I'm right in assuming there's a record attached to that name." Priestly stared hard at him, the look so intense Joe felt an uneasiness settle over him. The young mans normally warm and gentle green eyes were hard and sharp, all traces of innocence gone. Then in the literal blink of an eye his eyes returned to normal. It happened so fast Joe wondered if he had imagined it. He cleared his throat trying to dispel the unease still floating around his head. "Well like I said you seem like a good guy, and we both know I'll kill you if you break her heart."

Priestly grinned, "Promises, promises" before he began paddling for the shore.

He climbed out of the water and shook his head back and forth, spraying water everywhere. "Well I'd be lying if I said that wasn't fun sasquatch. You're not too bad."

Joe grinned, "Thanks kid." He held out his hand to shake but Priestly didn't offer his. Joe clapped him on the shoulder instead; apparently his hand still wasn't up to par. He watched Priestly walk away towards his bag before he walked in the opposite direction to return his surfboard.

Priestly shook his head in disbelief as he walked towards the sidewalk, he couldn't believe his day was actually enjoyable. He also thought about his conversation with Joe, thankfully he hadn't asked too many questions. He was broken out of his thoughts by a hateful voice. "Hey freak!" Priestly froze and turned around. Tadd was standing against a wall, arms crossed looking as cocky as ever. "Saw you with Tish the other day. I know she fucks everything that walks but I didn't realize her standards were so low."

Priestly gritted his teeth so hard he thought he heard a molar crack, he wanted to attack Tadd but new if anyone saw and called the cops he was screwed. He forced himself to keep walking.

Tadd scoffed and continued goading him, "Ya run home freak. Maybe after I take you out again I'll go visit Tish, remind her what a real man feels like."

Tadd was somewhat surprised when Priestly walked over and thrust his forearm into Tadd's throat. "You don't talk about Tish like that you piece of shit, you were lucky you caught me off guard last time but this time I'm going to beat your fucking ass." Tadd couldn't help the fear that started to spread throughout his body. Priestly's eyes looked hard and dangerous; like they had seen and done things that he wouldn't believe. He also realized how much bigger than him Priestly was.

He glanced over the larger man's shoulder and smiled sinisterly, "We'll see."

Unexpectedly Priestly was jerked back and thrown to the pavement, looking up he saw Brad. Tadd walked up next to him, "After we're done with you I think we'll both go teach Tish whom she belongs to."

"You leave her alone!" Priestly was nervous. He knew he could take Tadd and Brad on their own, but together and with his right fist out of commission this had the potential to get ugly fast. He was going to have to fight them the only way he knew how, dirty. Tadd moved first running forward and trying to kick Priestly in the head. "Not again fucker," Priestly dodged it and grabbed Tadd's ankle before tugging hard making Tadd fall backwards, head bouncing off the pavement. Seeing Tadd on the ground Brad panicked and tried to attack Priestly. He waited for the right moment before he kicked out catching Brad's shin with an audible crack, dropping him like a rock.

A large shadow appeared behind Priestly, "There a problem here?"

Tadd sat up dazed, feeling the back of his head for blood. "This guy attacked us call the cops."

"I'm with the FBI, Priestly you ok?" Priestly looked up at Joe's large form looming over him. Joe stuck out his hand to help Priestly up. He grinned and gripped Joe's hand with his left and pulled himself up.

Tadd balked and dropped down to check on Brad, "What the hell is this? Arrest him, he assaulted us!"

Joe pointed at the two men. "You two shut up and be quiet."

Tadd stood up wincing and rubbing the back of his head. He dusted himself off before he walked over to the Agent and poked him in the chest, "Listen buddy, do you know who I am? Obviously not so I'll let it slide this time. Now do as I say and arrest him."

The large man looked down at the finger pushed against his chest. "Did you just _poke_ me?"

Tadd looked confused for a moment before he repeated the act, "Ya, deal with it."

"I'm arresting you for assault on a federal agent." Priestly, Tadd, and Brad watched in stunned silence as Joe pulled out his cell phone and called the local police dispatch. After hanging up he turned to Priestly, "They're going to want statements when they get here." Priestly's eyes began to widen _no, no, no, no._ "I suggest you don't be here when they arrive." He stared at the much larger man with apprehension and disbelief, was he seriously letting him go?

"Get, go. I'll meet you at Tish's."

Priestly nodded before grabbing his board and skating away.


	6. Chapter 6

**Short chapter, sorry!**

Priestly sighed heavily and checked his watch again. It had been over an hour and Joe still wasn't there. He sat down heavily on the couch, his legs starting to tire from his constant pacing. His head snapped up when he heard the familiar sound of Tish's car and turned towards the door when it opened revealing a very serious federal agent. Joe closed the door slowly, obviously deep in thought. He finally looked up at Priestly and walked into the living room and sat in the chair, staring at the nervous young man. "So Tadd told me quite a tale."

Priestly sat up straighter, "What did he have to say?" Even though he was now seated his body still vibrated with nervous energy. His leg bounced on its own accord as he rubbed his hands up and down his thighs.

Joe leaned back in the chair, "So Tadd told me that you jumped him for talking to Tish a while back. He also said the only reason Tish was with you was because she was scared of you. It was quiet a tale." As he spoke he watched the younger man's reactions.

Priestly started to sweat, "You didn't believe him right? He's a liar." His mind was racing, _what if Joe believed him? _

Joe scoffed, "Of course I didn't believe the little self righteous prick. I deal with liars for a living Priestly, I know when someone's bullshitting me." He saw Priestly sag in relief. "But I do want to know what really happened Priestly. What's the deal with you? With Tadd and Tish? I'm done with the secrets, time to tell me the truth."

Priestly sighed heavily before telling Joe about Tish and Tadd and how he had attacked him three months ago. He told him about Tish and his relationship, leaving out the parts about his past and his relapse. Joe appreciated the fact that Priestly never lied to him once, as far as he could tell. He could also tell Priestly was omitting large pieces of information.

In his head he recapped everything he had just been told before he spoke. "…and the reason this was never reported was because your record, right?" The realization hit him like a ton of bricks. "You're a fugitive." It was a statement more than a question.

Priestly didn't answer just stared at Joe, wondering what he was going to do with the information he was receiving.

Joe continued piecing together what Priestly wasn't telling him. "And something about the attack made you stop drinking…no… made you relapse…I'm assuming Tish helped you with that, got you clean."

Priestly just kept staring, his silence affirmation enough for Joe. "And based on the number of scars I saw on you today at the beach I'd say your life was pretty rough for a while, which leads me to suspect drug abuse as a coping mechanism."

Silence. Joe inhaled deeply and stared at the young man sitting on the couch. "God kid, seen and done it all huh?" Joe couldn't believe it. Priestly had obviously been abused very badly and over the course of many years based on his scars. He had turned to drugs and alcohol as a result of said abuse for who knows how long. He had a strong feeling that Priestly was lucky to even be alive. A question popped into his head, "What made you get clean?"

Priestly's eye's said it all, something very, very bad had happened. His green eyes became glassy, betraying his stoic appearance. As the seconds ticked by it was apparent he wasn't going to get an actual response. Even though he wanted to Joe knew he couldn't push his questions. If Priestly admitted anything to him he would have to arrest him.

Priestly finally spoke, feeling exhausted and emotionally drained. "So what now, what uh…happens now?"

Joe regarded the young man carefully. What _did _happen now? He tried to look at it somewhat objectively; Tish's boyfriend was obviously wanted. That alone made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. It was his job to protect Tish, and now he finds out she's in a relationship with a man that did something illegal enough that he doesn't give out his real name. He also was at one point an alcoholic and most likely heavy drug user. He had also been to hell and back based on his numerous scars. Joe stared at the younger man, seeing the fear playing across his eyes as he awaited judgment. The longer he sat there thinking the more uncertain he got, and uncertainty wasn't something he was used to feeling.

"What do you think should happen now Priestly? I find out my little sister is dating a fugitive, what do you think I should do?" Joe asked in a harsh tone.

Priestly gulped audibly. Joe was pissed. Priestly watched Joe stand up and start pacing around the living room, continuing his rant.

"I'm having a hard time here kid, I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do. I should just arrest you and run your prints, find out who you really are. I should get you the hell away from my sister." He paused and blew out a breath. "But I can't. I'm a pretty good judge of character Priestly, and I think you're a good guy. Probably more fucked up than you let on, but a good guy nonetheless." He walked back to the chair and sat down. Finally coming to a decision he answered, "Nothing happens now. You never admitted guilt to anything, its just speculation. I do have one more question though and I want you to really think about this and I do expect an answer."

Priestly wearily looked at Joe, "Yeah?"

"Do you love her?"

Priestly's mind reeled at the change in topic. He stared at Joe unsure how to answer the question. _Did he love Tish?_ Of course he liked her a lot, but _love_? He suddenly felt much younger and smaller than he was. He opened his mouth but no words came out, so he snapped it shut. Joe's words repeated in his head, _do you love her?_

Seeing that Priestly wasn't ready to admit anything to him or even to himself Joe let it slide for the time being. He had been through enough today. "Just something to think about kid. Come on you look beat, let's get you home and go pick up Tish.


	7. Chapter 7

**Another shorty, but I have to say this is my favorite chapter so far. Special thanks to ****inspirationimagination, you're the best!**

Tish saw her small blue Mini Cooper pull up to the curb outside and park under the streetlight. She removed her apron and stashed it in the back. Reaching the door she turned, "Bye Trucker!"

He smiled fondly at her, "Bye Angel."

She walked out to the car and grabbed the handle, swinging open the door. Once inside she buckled her seatbelt and turned to her brother. "Did you boys have a good day at the beach?" She couldn't help but smile at the sight of Joe behind the steering wheel. He looked like a giant stuffed into a sardine can.

"Great day" Joe answered, "I think Priestly wore himself out though." He jerked his thumb to the backseat where Tish saw Priestly passed out, head laying against the cool glass window and mouth hanging open, small snores escaping him. His red and blue hair was playing off his bruised throat. Tish always loved watching him sleep, he looked so peaceful and young.

Tish felt a small smile pull across her lips. "I'm really glad you two had a good day," she said softly.

Joe looked in the rearview mirror at the passed out passenger in the backseat, he couldn't believe it but he had actually developed a soft spot for the kid. "Me too, kids not bad. If he's good enough for you he's good enough for me."

She continued smiling and again glanced into the backseat. "I guess we should bring him home, he looks pretty tired."

Joe instantly noticed her disappointed expression and tone. He glanced in the rearview mirror again before looking at Tish, "Actually I was thinking he could come over tonight, keep you company. I think I'm going to bed early."

Knowing he was lying Tish leaned over and kissed his cheek, "I love you Joe."

When Priestly blinked awake he was lying on Tish's couch, his head on her lap and a chick flick playing on the tv. "What happened?" he asked, his voice hoarse from sleep. Tish continued gently rubbing the side of his head with her nails, "Joe said after you showered and everything you passed out in the car. You didn't even wake up when he carried you in here. Must have been some day."

Priestly internally sighed in relief; apparently Joe hadn't mentioned the Tadd issue or their talk. When he replayed her words in his head his eyes bulged, "Joe carried me! Like bridal style? Oh my god I'm his bitch!"

Tish giggled, "If you're anyone's bitch you're mine."

"Of course I am. So where is your brother? What time is it?" He sat up and stretched his arms over his head trying to wake up.

She clicked off the tv and climbed onto his lap, a mischievous smile on her lips. "A little after 11, and he's in bed."

He kissed her deeply, getting the hint. His hands moved on their own, one reaching around her back to pull her closer the other moving to her chest, squeezing her breasts through her shirt. She moaned into his mouth as she grinded against him, feeling his obvious arousal. He released her lips and peppered her neck with soft kisses, sucking lightly with each one. Priestly grinned when her breath started to come in soft pants and lifted her up. Once in her bedroom Priestly threw her onto the bed and locked the door. He took in her disheveled appearance, her swollen lips and heaving chest. It was a definite turn on but her words were his undoing. "Fuck me Priestly, don't be gentle." He didn't have to be told twice.

Joe gritted his teeth and held his hands tighter over his ears. He thought he would do Tish a favor and allow Priestly to come over without retribution; apparently he made a huge mistake. He could only listen to so many grunts, groans, and pleasured screams. As his last nerve was finally hit, he threw off the comforter and rose from the bed to pound on the wall but faltered when he heard his sister, _his baby sister_ scream out in ecstatic release. He was scarred for life; he would never be able to erase that noise from his brain. Finally hearing silence from the next room he tried unsuccessfully to go back to sleep. After tossing and turning and replaying his sisters scream over and over in his traumatized brain he gave up and went into the living room to watch tv. He must have been zoning out because he suddenly felt the couch dip next to him. Turning to his left he saw Priestly sitting in his boxers, red and blue hair in complete disarray pieces sticking out in every direction, watching tv with a large glass of red liquid in his hand.

"Is that Kool-aid?" he asked, his tone both amused and disbelieving.

The younger man grinned, "Yup. Love me some Kool-aid, you want some?"

"Uh…no." Joe stared at him, kid was in his twenties and drank Kool-aid.

Priestly shrugged and took another sip trying to hide his growing grin behind his glass, "Couldn't sleep?"

Joe glared at the younger man, "You realize I could beat your ass right? Kill you? If anyone could get away with it, it would be me."

The young man shrugged; grin still plastered on his face. "Worth it."

Joe fully turned and looked at Priestly as he sipped his drink and watched some random late night tv show. Priestly sometimes seemed much older than he was, probably from years of abuse or whatever the kid had gone through but other times like right now Joe realized how young he really was. Here he was watching tv late at night and drinking Kool-aid in his underwear. He looked like a little kid.

"Joe?"

Broken out of his thoughts he answered Priestly, "Ya?"

"I know I'm hot but can you refrain from staring please? You're kind of wigging me out."

Joe rolled his eyes and mumbled, "Smart ass" before he turned towards the tv again. The two men continued sitting on the couch, the only light coming from the illuminated television. "I thought about what we talked about earlier," Priestly softly whispered.

Joe nodded, neither man looking at each other. "The answer is ya, I do. But I don't think I'm ready for her to know yet."

Joe nodded again, knowing words weren't necessary. He stood up and walked behind the couch on the way to his room, clapping Priestly on the shoulder as he passed. Priestly finished his drink, turned off the tv and joined Tish back in bed.


	8. Chapter 8

**Just giving you guys a heads up, the next chapter probably won't be up until sometime this weekend. My keyboard has self destructed and I have to bring in my laptop to get fixed. :( Also if this is getting too fluffy for you there's some angst coming up in a few chapters. **

The next morning Tish was making breakfast and Priestly was sitting at the table munching on bacon and sipping scalding coffee when Joe entered. He shuffled slowly into the room, bloodshot eyes taking in its inhabitants. Tish had already showered and dressed for the day in a simple tank top and skirt. Priestly was dressed but clearly hadn't showered since his red and blue hair was even wilder than it was last night.

Tish turned away from the sizzling pan in front of her and smiled brightly at the newest addition, "Hey, did you sleep well?"

Priestly couldn't help himself, he laughed into his cup of coffee choking when it went down the wrong tube. Tish looked at him curiously and Joe glared at him before sitting at the table and rubbing his tired eyes, "Not really."

Tish set a cup of coffee and a plate of breakfast in front of him, "I'm sorry. So what do you want to do on your last day here?"

Joe took a bite of eggs before answering. "I'm not sure, I wouldn't mind the beach again. Maybe go to the Grill for lunch."

Tish walked past him to put things back in the refrigerator before going to the sink, "Sounds good. Priestly, you need a ride to work?"

Priestly finished his coffee and set the cup down, "A ride to my house would be great, I'll ride to work."

"Why don't you drive anywhere Priestly?" Joe asked.

"Well I sold my car a while ago, just figured I didn't need it anymore. Plus, I destroyed my license so I wouldn't have any identifying information, so it's better if I just board." Priestly heard Tish drop a fork into the sink with a clatter. Priestly frowned at her tense posture, "You ok?"

She turned wide eyes to him before subtly nodding towards Joe. Priestly knitted his brows together trying to figure out what she was thinking. It finally clicked. "Oh, Joe knows."

Tish's jaw dropped, "He knows? Like everything?"

Joe answered her, "I know enough, but not specifics. He never actually admitted to anything."

Tish sat down heavily, "Really? And everything's ok with you two?" She couldn't believe it; her G-man brother and escapee boyfriend were completely at ease together.

Priestly shrugged before turning to Joe for conformation, "Ya".

"Ya we're good, but I would like to wipe that shit eating grin off his face that he's been wearing this morning."

Priestly laughed again, skirting away from Joe's swipe at him. He stood up and placed his mug in the sink. "Come on let's go, I'm going to be late…er than usual."

After they dropped off Priestly Joe and Tish went to the beach. It was a perfect beach day. The sun was shining brightly, reflecting off the small waves lapping at the soft white sand. There was a gentle breeze blowing just hard enough to push the heat away from your skin.

"So did you have an ok visit?" Tish asked, throwing down her towel in the sand and smoothing it out before lying down.

Joe smiled thinking about the last few days. "Interesting to say the least, but ya I had a pretty good time. It was nice to see you. I miss you Tish."

"I miss you too Joe. So you and Priestly talked, like about everything?"

Joe sent a death glare at a kid walking by looking at Tish. He smiled victoriously when the kid quickened his pace. "Pretty much. From what I can gather kids been through hell, but he turned out all right. He's actually pretty fun to hang out with, and now I know I don't have to worry about you when I'm not here."

Tish grinned and peered at him over the top of her large sunglasses, "So he gets the Joe stamp of approval?"

Joe laughed, "Ya he does. I think he's the first one actually." Feeling the sweat beads running down his head and back he stood and grabbed Tish around the waist and ran into the water, ignoring her screams of protest. After a long splashing contest Joe hiked out of the water, "Come on I'm starving."

The two entered the Grill and found themselves in the middle of one of Priestly's great debates.

The purple haired man was staring at Piper with an exasperated expression. "I'm just saying a lot of musicians, and I use that term loosely, wouldn't be famous today if it wasn't for their recording equipment."

Piper smiled and rolled her eyes, "Do you even listen to the radio? There's some good bands on there that play way better music than The Clash or whatever you listen to." She loved getting him riled up, it was hours of entertainment for free.

Priestly raised his eyebrows and pointed at her with his spatula, "Blasphemy!"

Trucker laughed at their antics and turned to greet Tish and her brother. "Hey you two. Have fun at the beach Angel?"

"Of course, there's no such thing as a bad day at the beach. So what are we talking about today?"

Priestly jumped at the opportunity to have a supporter on his side of the debate, "That musicians today do not have anywhere near the amount of talent that old school musicians have, they rely way too much on expensive equipment."

Tish shrugged, "I like today's music."

Priestly deflated, his shoulders and expression dropping comically. "Really Tish? Come on, somebody's gotta have my back here."

Joe finally spoke up, "I'll get your back, we might listen to different music but you can't ignore the classics."

Priestly nodded and pointed to Joe, "Exactly, thank you."

Trucker walked over to where Tish and Joe had sat down "What can I get you guys?"

Tish asked for the soup and Joe asked for egg salad much to Priestly's amusement.

"What's so funny?"

Priestly glanced at Joe before turning back towards the grill again snickering, "Nothing, nothing enjoy your egg salad dude."

Trucker walked over and delivered their food a few minutes later, "So when are you leaving Joe?"

"Tomorrow morning, time to get back to the real world."

Trucker nodded, "Well it was great to meet you. Have a safe trip back."

The Grill died down after the lunch rush allowing Priestly to walk around the counter and unceremoniously drop himself into the booth next to Tish. "What time are you out of here?"

The large man leaned back in the small booth, having finished his lunch a while ago. "5:45am"

Priestly blinked, "5:45am? That must be before the sun rises because I've never heard of it."

Tish rolled her eyes and bumped her elbow into his ribs, "Are you coming over tonight?"

He instantly looked to Joe and somehow managed not to burst out laughing at his steady death glare, "For a bit, not too long though. Joe probably wants some time with you."

Satisfied with his answer she scooted him out of the booth and gave him a quick kiss goodbye. "Then I guess I'll see you later." With a wave Joe and Tish walked through the door. "Bye everybody!"

Trucker watched them walk around the corner and noticed Priestly doing the same. His eyes raked over the young man and settled on his neck, which was starting to turn a sickly green color around the edges of the black and blue. He had been shocked and more than a little pissed off when Priestly had come in that morning sporting the unattractive bruise. After an evasive explanation Priestly had assured him everything was ok. "Hey Priestly."

The purple haired man turned, "Yeah?"

"Why don't you work another couple hours then you can head out early?"

Priestly looked at him quizzically, "Really? I can stay it's not a big deal."

The old hippie waved dismissively, "It's slow today, go have fun."

He grinned widely, "Thanks Truck."

Exactly two and a half hours later Priestly arrived at Tish's house and knocked on the door. Unexpectedly Joe answered and let him in. He set down his board by the entryway table and looked around, "Where's Tish?"

Joe walked back into the living room and sat back on the couch to finish his tv show. "In the shower, she should be out soon."

Priestly followed him and sat in the chair. "Hey, uh…" he trailed off uncertain.

Joe frowned at his sister's boyfriend and took in his nervous appearance. "What's up kid?" He looked like whatever he was about to say was making him very uncomfortable, meaning it was either bad or important.

He fidgeted some more, "I just wanted to thank you."

Thunderstruck he simply asked, "For what?"

"For being ok with me being with Tish. For actually getting to know me. For not arresting me. Just…thanks."

Joe regarded the awkward man sitting in the chair. Based on what he just said Joe guessed he didn't have a lot of friends, and if he ever did they weren't very good ones. Joe suddenly felt a surge of protectiveness for the kid. "I said it before and I'll say it again, you're a good guy Priestly. You make Tish happy and you treat her right. As for getting to know you I didn't have much of a choice." Seeing the younger man's face begin to fall he hurried on, "But in the end I'm glad I did. It was nice to have a another guy here, not be lost in the land of women with Tish all week."

Priestly beamed before turning to watch the tv with Joe while they waited for Tish. She finally entered the living room a while later.

"Hey Priestly!" She walked over and sat down on the edge of the chair giving him a small kiss. "So what do you two want to do? Eat, movie, board game?"

Priestly perked up, "Smart Ass!"

Joe looked at Tish wondering why Priestly was calling her names. Noticing his confused expression she explained. "It's a trivia game that he's obsessed with right now. It's pretty fun you want to play?"

Joe agreed, simply for the fact that he had never imagined himself playing a game called 'Smart Ass'. After several rolls of the dice and a cheekily smiling Priestly calling Joe a dumb ass numerous times the game came to an end, Tish the victor.

She rose and did her victory dance while pointing at the losers, "That's how it's done dumb asses!"

Priestly laughed and looked at the clock hanging on the wall. He climbed to his feet and yawned tiredly. "I should get going."

Tish agreed and walked him to the door. She gave him a slow farewell kiss and stepped to the side to allow Joe to say goodbye. Joe walked over and looked at the purple haired kid that had somehow managed to worm his way onto his good side. Priestly stuck out his right hand, which in itself was a meaningful gesture. Their relationship had started with Joe abusing that hand and now Priestly offered it freely, trusting Joe to not hurt him. Joe stared at the hand but did not shake it, instead he leaned forward and bear hugged the younger man. "You take care of yourself kid, and I expect you to do the same for Tish."

Priestly didn't reply, just gave Joe a firm nod and walked out into the darkness.


	9. Chapter 9

Priestly's leg bounced quickly as he fidgeted in the hard chair. He hated waiting rooms, sick people all gathered in one place and of course the person with the wet hacking cough was heading straight for him. As soon as the man sat next to Priestly he shot up and walked across the room, trying to put as much space as possible between them. He glanced around the off white room again wondering what the hell he was doing here. _You bought a one way ticket on the crazy train, that's why. _He hated to admit it, even to himself but his mini melt downs were becoming much more frequent and worse then they ever were before. He knew he had to do something about them before someone noticed, especially Tish. He checked his watch again and groaned quietly, this was taking forever. Hopefully someone would call his name quickly before he contracted some sort of disease. He perked up when he heard someone call him and almost ran across the room of screaming, snot nosed children and knocking-on-death's-door old people.

"Mr. Smith?" asked the middle-aged woman in front of him. She was short and round with curly brown hair that barely met her shoulders. She had compassionate eyes, the kind of eyes that have seen too much sickness but still held out hope for everyone she met. Priestly raised an eyebrow at her Mickey Mouse covered scrubs.

He nodded but mentally cringed, next time he came up with an alias it was going to be something cool, not 'Smith'. He followed the plump woman down a hallway and into a small room, the only decoration an old poster that talked about the dangers of smoking.

She smiled warmly "The doctor will be in shortly," and with that she closed the door leaving him alone. He sat on one of the two chairs in the room, it being only slightly more comfortable than the waiting room ones. His gaze drifted to the poster on the wall before he quickly looked away, he knew the danger that's why he stopped. He leaned forward and snatched a magazine off a wall mounted rack and flipped through it. It was a gossip magazine, which sucked but at least there were bikini pictures. He scanned the pictures slowly trying to occupy himself so he didn't go stir crazy waiting. His attention was drawn to the ceiling when one of the overhead lights flickered. He watched the bright bulb flash a few times before it stopped. The light bulb was sort of like him he realized, it was supposed to be bright and reliable but sometimes it would flicker over to darkness before attempting to correct itself. He only hoped he wouldn't burn out like the bulb eventually would. After what seemed like an eternity the door swung open to reveal a tall gray haired man with a stethoscope around his neck. Priestly briefly wondered if having one around your neck was required of a doctor's uniform.

The man held out a large hand. "Priestly, I'm Dr. Wubben. How can I help you today?"

Straight to the point, the man obviously didn't have time to waste. Priestly sat up straighter in the chair. "I've been having…" _freak outs? Melt downs? _"panic attacks."

The man nodded and scribbled something down, "And what happens during these panic attacks?"

It felt wrong to be discussing this with a stranger but he knew it was necessary. He had thought about talking to Tish but decided against it, his problems were his own not hers. "My heart starts beating really fast, I feel out of control like every things crashing down around me." _Someone get me a poetry book because I'm turning emo._

The doctor nodded again and scribbled more. "And when did these start? Any idea what causes them?"

He thought carefully about how to answer the questions. He knew the truth was out of the question; he wasn't about to tell him this has been happening since he murdered his father. "They started a while ago, but they've started happening more often lately. There's not anything in particular that causes them, they just pop up out of nowhere."

More scribbling, "Have you gone through any life changes recently?"

Priestly frowned. Seeing the young man's expression the doctor offered help. "Change in occupation? Did you move recently? Relationship changes?"

_That couldn't be it, could it?_ "I started seeing someone about four months ago." He couldn't believe he hadn't noticed it until now but his panic attacks/melt downs had worsened since he started seeing Tish. He couldn't imagine why though, everything was great with Tish.

The doctor took off his glasses and set the notepad aside. "Still with…her?" Priestly noticed the hesitation on the word 'her'. He raised an eyebrow, last time he checked he didn't look gay but whatever.

"Ya, still with _her_. Everything's going great."

The older man regarded him for a minute, Priestly fidgeted under the stare. "Sometimes when our lives change our brains have a hard time adjusting, even if its adjusting to something good. I'm going to prescribe you something for your attacks but I'm also going to give you a script for anti-depressants. I don't think you're truly depressed but I think we need to focus on getting you balanced for right now."

Priestly nodded automatically to show he was listening but in reality he was tuned out. He knew he was unbalanced, that's why he was here but hearing it said by a medical professional made it so much more real. He took the papers the doctor had handed him and walked silently out of the office and onto the sidewalk. He felt like he had more questions now then when he went in there. Why did his melt downs start getting worse when he started seeing Tish? When he thought about it the reason seemed obvious, he was caught in a vicious cycle. There relationship started out with him being emotionally vulnerable and now he tried to hide it so she wouldn't think less of him, but the more he hid it the worse it got. Now he needed medication just to somewhat manage himself. He hated to think that he needed medication to feel all right but he was desperate. He didn't want Tish to think something was wrong, that he was screwed up and if it took pills to hide everything then that's what he would do. He walked to the pharmacy before returning home. He threw himself onto his bed and stared at the orange bottles in his hand, was this really what his life had come to? He skimmed through the papers that came with the bottles until his eyes landed on one line, 'can be habit forming'. _Just fucking wonderful._ In hindsight he should have probably mentioned his drug and alcohol problems to the doctor but too late now. Just as he squeezed the white lid to open the bottle he heard his front door open and Tish yell for him. He quickly jerked open his nightstand drawer and threw the bottles in the back before slamming it shut and running to the living room.

He smiled at his girlfriend as he grabbed her for a kiss. "What are you doing here?"

She pulled back and held up her hands, which were holding bags of food. "I brought dinner, you know since you never have anything here." Seeing him open his mouth she rolled her eyes, "Junk food and Kool-aid don't count. Now come on lets eat."

Priestly ate silently next to Tish, lost in thought about his day. Tish noticed his distracted stare, "Hey, you ok?"

He slowly turned towards her wondering if he should tell her about what was happening. This was his chance to be honest, to tell her the truth and let her help him before it got even worse than it already was. This was his chance to put an end to this horrible cycle that was destroying him piece by piece. He opened his mouth, "Ya, everything's great."

_Liar._


	10. Chapter 10

"Come on let's go!" Priestly yelled impatiently from the living room of Tish's house. He was standing by the door trying to smooth out the wrinkles in his _'I didn't fall. The floor just needed a hug'_ tshirt. He was feeling good this morning, but that was probably from his anxiety pill he had taken earlier. His medication was working well enough that he felt relatively normal if not a little guilty for still not informing Tish about everything. He felt in his pocket for the ever present bottle and relaxed when he rubbed his fingers over it. The bottle of pills had become almost a security blanket in the last month, offering strength and peace of mind when he needed it.

"Don't rush me!" came the muffled yet still shrill reply from the bedroom.

It had been two months since Joe's departure and everything was going well for the most part. Tomorrow was Priestly's twenty-fifth birthday and he had decided he wanted to go to Vegas. Of course Tish had been ecstatic, she hadn't been there in years. So here they were, late in the morning with Priestly trying to hurry Tish along so they could get on the road.

"I'm going to leave without you," he shouted down the hall. He smiled when he heard her growl.

"Like hell, it's my car! Plus…" she entered lugging her giant suitcase behind her, "I'm ready." Priestly smiled and grabbed her suitcase lifting it with ease.

"Then let's go!"

Four hours into the drive Priestly was getting bored. You could only make so many faces at passing cars before there was the very real possibility your face would stick like that. He decided he needed to strike up a conversation, being a male his mind instantly went to sex. "So I got a question." Tish turned down the radio and glanced at him. "What age did you lose your virginity?"

She smiled, typical Priestly question. "Sixteen. His name was Todd Mesters, blond hair and blue eyes. He was a senior and captain of the football team." She paused before her expression became bitter. "He was also the worlds biggest asshole."

Priestly arched an eyebrow in disagreement.

"After Tadd of course. What about you?"

Priestly grinned, "I had just turned seventeen. Her name was Sarah… I think. She was twenty two, and..." He trailed off, a glazed expression appearing on his face. Tish looked over and scowled. Snapping her fingers she asked, "That's it?"

He looked at her innocently. "Well I didn't get her last name or occupation. I was seventeen Tish, details didn't matter."

There were a few silent minutes before Priestly spoke again. "You ever been with a chick?"

She rolled her eyes, "We are not talking about sex stuff for the next five hours."

Priestly huffed but agreed. "Still though, answer the question."

A smirk appeared on her face and Priestly's eyes widened. "I've messed around a bit but never all the way."

Priestly stared at her with a faraway look, obviously creating a mental picture. "Awesome."

Tish shook her head fondly, he was such a guy. She couldn't help but rib him. "What about you, ever been with a guy?"

"No."

Now it was Tish's eyes that widened. Instead of getting weirded out by the question like she figured, he had answered totally nonchalantly. Like it was something he just hadn't gotten around to. "You make it sound like a possibility."

Priestly shrugged and looked out the window. "I just don't see why gender is a big deal. The world is a big scary place and if you can find just one person that makes you happy, even for a little while it shouldn't matter if they're a guy or a girl."

Tish's jaw actually dropped. That answer was totally unexpected. She grabbed his hand and squeezed, "That's why I'm with you."

Priestly turned towards her, confusion written on his face, "What do you mean?"

"You're a special person Priestly, don't ever forget that."

He grinned, "I know I'm amazing but you're making me blush."

She pulled away her hand and backhanded his bicep.

The rest of the nine hour drive went well for the most part. They laughed at each other's jokes and ate copious amount of junk food. There were one or two arguments about traveling music and driving abilities but in the end the drive went by without any major hiccups.

"So where are we staying?" she asked as they passed the '_Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas Nevada_' sign.

"The Venetian."

They pulled into the valet and walked inside the large and beautiful lobby to check in. Priestly walked up to the counter and handed an ID to the woman across from him. Tish looked at him quizzically but noticed the subtle shake of his head and stayed quiet. The woman typed on her keyboard then handed the ID and keycards to Priestly.

"Enjoy your stay Mr. Stark." He thanked her and grabbed Tish's hand.

She raised her eyebrows. "Mr. Stark?"

He grinned mischievously, "Jim Stark, that's my name. Or at least that's what my fake ID says." _Hell of a lot better that Mr. Smith._

"Where did you get a fake ID? And why Jim Stark, you definitely do not look like a 'Jim'."

He shrugged, grin still in place. "I know a guy, and how can you not know where Jim Stark comes from?"

She gave him an irritated look; she was quickly losing her patience. Priestly rolled his eyes, "Jim Stark is James Dean's character in Rebel Without a Cause. It's awesome, now come on. Enough questions."

After dropping off their bags in their room Priestly practically dragged Tish downstairs to gamble. When they got to the casino floor he just stood taking in each and every thing with fervent eyes. He loved Vegas: the lights, the sounds, the people, the money; it was infectious. He felt his heart rate increase as his eyes swept the room; it was an instant high that he embraced fully. Everywhere he looked was drenched in sin, a perfect fantasy world. Beautiful women dressed in next to nothing: Lust. Restaurants, buffets, and bars every few feet: Gluttony. Money passing hands back and forth: Greed. People lounging drunkenly on plush couches: Sloth. A man attacking another over slurred words: Wrath. Regular women glaring as they watched beautiful goddesses walk by: Envy. Money being thrown onto tables to impress companions, even though they're losing everything: Pride. He fingered the wad in his pocket with eager fingers.

Tish couldn't help but smile, he was so excited he was practically vibrating. "So I take it you like to gamble."

Priestly nodded enthusiastically, his blue spiked hair never moving. "You play craps?"

Tish shook her head, "I'm more of a blackjack girl, but I'll watch you play."

Priestly found an open craps table and squeezed him and Tish in. He threw down a few bills and collected his chips before placing them around the table. She watched as people rolled the dice over and over before crapping out and passing to the next person. Bills and chips, hands and dice were everywhere but Priestly seemed completely at ease, observing the table and rollers carefully. Tish watched a cocktail waitress in a skimpy outfit walk around the table taking drink orders and breathed a sigh of relief when Priestly ignored her. She began to grow nervous though when she noticed him throwing down hundred after hundred dollar bill onto the table.

She gently tugged his arm, "Priestly."

His eyes never wavered from the table, "Ya Tish?"

She bit her lip as he threw down two more hundred dollar bills and grabbed his chips. "You're going through a lot of money."

"Gotta spend money to make money," he answered distractedly. Tish's nervousness was quickly turning into anger as Priestly kept his attention on the table, brushing off her concerns.

Fed up she harshly whispered to him. "Forget it I'm out of here." She turned around and forced her way through the people disappearing from Priestly's view. He didn't understand why she was upset but knew he better find out now and fix it before it got worse. He quickly cashed out and looked around for his girlfriend. He found her sitting at a dollar machine about twenty feet away, not playing. He sat down next to her and twisted her chair towards him. "What's up, what's wrong?"

She looked at him with a serious expression. "Priestly, I thought this would be fun but now that we're here I'm nervous."

He knitted his brows together, "Nervous of what?"

She sighed heavily, "Of you, here. You're a recovering alcoholic and there's alcohol everywhere. Then on top of that you just keep throwing hundreds down like they're nothing. You're making me nervous."

Priestly grabbed her hands and smiled softly, "You think I have a gambling problem, is that it?" Seeing her nod he explained. "Tish I have a lot of vices, most of which I had to quit for obvious reasons. I have an addictive personality I can't help it, but gambling is the one vice I'm completely in control of."

She looked at him skeptically. "But you're spending so much money."

He pulled black and green chips out of his pocket and handed them to Tish, "You have to spend money to make money. Do you know how much I laid down?"

"Like seven or eight hundred?"

"Ya, and how much do I have there?" She counted the money and frowned. He grinned, "Seemed like I was hemorrhaging money huh? I'm only down eighty bucks, I would have been up but…"

She leaned forward and hugged him, "I'm sorry."

He kissed her, "No worries. As for the alcohol you don't have to worry about me Tish. If I was alone I would probably be struggling right now but you're here and you keep me grounded." He grabbed her hands and rubbed the backs with his thumbs. "The last thing I ever want to do is disappoint you Tish."

Tish leaned forward and kissed him, "You never disappoint me, now go have fun."

He looked at her unsure but she shooed him away, "Go, go I'll be right here."

Hours later the two stumbled into the hotel room exhausted but content. Priestly had done well at the tables and Tish had lasted a couple of hours at the blackjack table before finally losing all her chips. They undressed slowly already half asleep before they climbed under the overstuffed, thick white comforter and fell asleep.


	11. Chapter 11

**While writing this chapter I was listening to Money by Pink Floyd. It's awesome; you should totally have a listen.**

Priestly slowly came into consciousness. He rolled over in the soft white sheets and blindly felt next to him for the warm body of his girlfriend, frowning when he was met with a cool empty space. Forcing his heavy eyelids open and looking around the room he found no one. He rubbed his tired eyes and listened carefully for any noise, soon realizing the woman in question was padding around quietly in the bathroom. He watched the door from the bed, one arm behind his head propping him up. The door finally swung open revealing a showered and fresh faced Tish in a lush cotton towel.

He watched her unnoticed with a small smile on his face. Her long hair was thrown up in a sloppy bun that showed off her slender neck. Her tan skin disappeared in into the white towel before reappearing just above her knees which gave way to slender calves and delicate feet. _God she's beautiful. _"Good morning" he greeted, his voice rough with sleep.

She turned sharply, surprised he was awake and walked over to the bed, "Good morning birthday boy."

He pulled her down on top of him and kissed her deeply. "Not yet it's not." Tish smirked and removed her towel, what the birthday boy wanted the birthday boy got.

A while later the two lay in bed together facing each other, noses practically touching. Tish ran her fingers through his soft brown hair. She loved his natural hair, it felt like a privilege to get to see it and touch it like this. "So what do you want to do today?"

He shrugged, "I don't really care what we do today but I want to take you out tonight."

She frowned. "But it's _your_ birthday."

He twirled a piece of her silky hair around his finger. "I know but I want to take you on a real date, go all out. We'll buy you a dress today."

Her eyes lit up at the idea of a new dress, "Well time's a wastin'! Let's go." She jumped up and began to dress as Priestly rolled off the bed and disappeared into the shower.

Many, many hours later Tish dropped her bags on the bed and threw herself down next to them. "Best. Day. Ever."

Priestly leaned against the wall and smiled widely; glad that he could make her happy. The day had been perfect. They had shopped, gambled, and went sightseeing. They had eaten fresh gelato and ridden roller coasters, seen huge aquariums and atriums. Lady Luck had even been on his side today, allowing him to splurge on Tish and himself with his winnings.

"What?" he asked as he heard Tish quietly laugh.

She sat up still giggling, "You and that mime, I was waiting for him to attack you." While walking around the pair had stumbled upon an actor who looked and acted like a statue, Priestly had made it his personal mission to try to get the man to move or flinch. After an hour of nonstop instigating Priestly had admitted defeat and gave the guy a twenty and a small bow.

Priestly began to chuckle, "If eyes could kill I would be so dead right now, I think he was trying to melt me or something. Props though, the only thing that moved was that angry tick in his jaw."

He glanced at his new black Movado Sapphire watch, "We should get ready to go, reservations in a couple hours."

Tish didn't have to be told twice she jumped off the bed and headed to bathroom to shower and change. She loved getting dressed up, she was a girl after all. Finally, after what Priestly felt like was an eternity she emerged. He stared at her unabashedly, she was gorgeous. Her long chestnut red hair fell in loose curls around her shoulders, sparkling earrings peeking through. Her makeup was flawless with dramatic eyes and lips a pale pink. The dress he had bought for her fit like a glove, snug in all the right places. It was a black ankle length with a long slit and plunging back. To top it off she wore a tall pair of stilettos.

"Holy shit." He didn't realize he said it out loud until he heard her laugh.

She twirled to give him the full view, "You like?"

He began to walk towards her with a husky look, "Oh ya, I like."

She stopped him a few feet from her with a hand to his chest, "Oh no you don't. You go get ready or we'll never make it out of here."

He grumbled and disappeared into the bathroom. Once under the steaming hot showerhead he let the water beat down on his shoulders and allowed his mind to wander to the reason for tonight's date. He had been with Tish for five months now, had admitted to himself that he loved her two months ago and now felt he was finally ready to tell her. _What if she doesn't love me back? _His arms dropped to his sides as the horrible thought entered his mind. _Will I stay with her if she doesn't love me? _The answer was an absolute yes. Even if Tish didn't love him he couldn't imagine leaving her. This was the longest relationship he'd ever been in, and every second of it had been amazing. The water spray slowed and eventually stopped when he turned off the knobs and stepped out onto the plush bath mat. He walked to the mirror and ran his hand across it to remove the steam so he could see his reflection. Green eyes met green eyes in the glass, _I can do this._

Tish waited patiently before the door opened a short time later revealing a sight that rendered her speechless. Priestly emerged from the bathroom wearing a perfectly fitted and obviously tailored black suit. His shoes shined brightly as he adjusted his skull cufflinks and straightened his red silk skinny tie that rested against his pitch black shirt. His eyeliner was in place and his hair was done in a simple bright red mohawk. She didn't think she had ever seen anything sexier in her life. She would have thought he would be uncomfortable in a suit but he looked like he was born in it. He radiated power and confidence, his presence almost overbearing in the small room. He grinned, "You like?"

She nodded and walked towards him, shoving him against the wall before attacking his mouth. Priestly kissed back enthusiastically before his brain reminded him of what they were supposed to be doing. "Tish" he mumbled against her mouth.

"What?" she breathed never removing herself from him.

He grabbed her and held her away from him before they got to the point of no return. "We have dinner reservations. I want to take you out, it's important to me."

She smiled softly and stepped back, she loved his romantic side. "Ok, let's go."

The couple strolled to the elevator arm in arm. Priestly pushed the down button before guessing which elevator would arrive first. With a ding and a victorious shout the doors slid open, allowing them inside. Tish turned to Priestly, "Where'd you get the suit, we were together this whole time."

He stuck his hands in his pockets and shrugged, "I brought it, it's mine."

She blanched, "Seriously? Why do you have a suit? You're not exactly the dress up type."

Grinning he answered, "A wise man once told me a well tailored suit is to women what lingerie is to men. Never have words rang more true, every man should own a tailored suit."

She leaned over and kissed him, "I'm inclined to agree."

The elevator finally came to a stop and the couple exited. They were walking through the casino on their way to the restaurant when Priestly noticed the stares Tish was getting. His arm snaked its way around her waist and pulled her closer. She smiled to herself when she felt Priestly pull her snugly against him. _As if he has anything to worry about._ She didn't think he realized how attractive he really was, especially in his suit. He was like walking sex…with a mohawk. If he hadn't been so focused on all the men staring at her he would have noticed all the women staring at him. Oh well, she wasn't complaining.

They arrived at the restaurant and sat down. Priestly stared at all the silverware and cocked an eyebrow. Tish noticed his stare and broke into giggles.

"That is _a lot_ of silverware. It would suck so bad to work here."

Tish laughed and rolled her eyes; underneath the suit and smooth exterior he was still just Priestly, it was comforting. The waiter appeared and to Tish's amusement Priestly ordered frog legs.

"Seriously?"

He grinned, eyes twinkling with amusement. "What can I say? I'm feeling fancy. You ever try them?"

She giggled, "No."

Their appetizer arrived and when the waiter set down the plate Priestly couldn't help his hysterical laughter. He reached forward and grabbed a set off legs that were still joined together at the hip and continued laughing. Tish couldn't help but join in, his laughter was infectious. Still chuckling he held up the legs on his plate and stared at them, "It's like half the frog, this is so weird."

Tish shook her head fondly, "Well, are you going to eat it or just make it dance?"

He eyed her before he picked it up and took a bite. He chewed thoughtfully before swallowing. "Surprisingly not bad. Flaky texture, light flavor, crunchy consistency."

Tish's eyebrows lifted. "What are you, the frog connoisseur?"

His eyes lit up, "Yes! That is my new title."

She shook her head again, "You are so random."

They enjoyed their dinner, snickering quietly at the stuck up and serious people around them.

After dinner Priestly and Tish went to the roulette table, unfortunately the only two seats were on opposite sides of the table. Priestly slid into his seat and was instantly assaulted by the strong smell of top shelf whisky from the man next to him. He swallowed thickly and glanced at the glass in front of the man, the amber liquid sloshing gently in the clear tumbler. As if on cue from the devil himself a petite woman appeared behind him asking if he wanted anything to drink. Not trusting his voice he had simple shook his head and forced his attention to the table, not even looking at Tish. He felt flustered and off kilter and he hated it.

Tish felt her heart begin to thud heavily as she watched Priestly's gaze lock on to a glass in front of the man next to him. She watched as the liquid mesmerized him, knowing it was whispering evil promises to him. She hated that he wouldn't look at her. Knowing it wouldn't help to just stare at him she turned her attention to the table and waited for him to steady himself. Thankfully it didn't take too long. She watched as his shoulders slowly relaxed and he became enthralled with the game in front of him.

While playing, the man next to Priestly started to small talk with Tish, which he didn't mind at all. It was when the man asked if she wanted to accompany him to his room that he snapped to attention. He glared at the man and was just about to open his mouth when Tish began to speak. Not missing a beat she informed him that she would if her boyfriend could join them. The man had blushed and stuttered before cashing out and quickly walking away. Priestly grinned at his girlfriend and shook his head in amusement.

"So did you have a good birthday?" she asked as they entered their room.

He smiled widely, "Ya, I really did."

Tish pushed his jacket off his shoulders and pulled him by the tie to the bed. She leaned down and whispered to him, her lips brushing against his ear. "It's not over yet." Deft fingers slid his tie off his neck and began to undo his shirt buttons as she settled her self sideways on his lap. Halfway down the shirt she paused when large hands encased and stilled hers. Noticing her questioning look he cleared his throat. _Now or never._

"Tish, I uh…." He rubbed the back of his neck and blew out a steadying breath. This was so much more difficult than he thought it would be.

Tish watched him carefully, waiting to hear what he was going to say. She was growing concerned, he was fidgeting like crazy. She watched him struggle for a few seconds before he tried to speak again.

"Tish I…I love you. I have for a while." He paused before saying it again. "I love you."

He stared at her face, which for once was completely expressionless. Her eyes, which normally shone bright with emotions, were blank. As the seconds ticked by he realized his worst nightmare was fast becoming a major possibility. He swallowed past the lump in his throat, trying to prepare himself somehow for the words that were sure to come.

Tish finally parted her perfect lips, "Priestly I…"


	12. Chapter 12

Tish finally parted her perfect lips, "Priestly I…I don't know what to say."

Priestly swallowed again, broke eye contact and looked down at his shoes. He thought after years of rejection from every side he would be almost immune to it, but was sadly mistaken. His mind was brought back to attention when he felt small warm hands gently grab his face and turn his head. Fearful and defeated green eyes met soft brown. "Priestly, I love you too. I've waited so long for you to say that."

His eyes widened in disbelief. "Why didn't you tell me?"

A small embarrassed smile spread across her face. "I didn't want to scare you away. I wasn't sure if you felt the same or if you were ready to know that I love you."

He kissed her tenderly and grabbed her hand, "I don't think I was ready to hear it, and it took me a long time to be ready to say it. Love isn't a word that's really been associated with my life Tish."

Her eyes glistened with tears, understanding what Priestly was trying to say. He wasn't ready to hear it because he didn't think he deserved it. Apparently no one had ever told Priestly they loved him. She hated that no one seemed to grasp what an amazing individual he was. She suddenly realized that she had almost not realized it, that she had almost missed her chance to meet the love of her life. He had also just told her that he had never loved anyone, ever. Tish had the honor of being Priestly's first actual love. In 25 years of life he had shared that emotion with one single person. It broke her heart.

He watched emotions play across her features as tears began falling down her cheeks. "Why are you crying?"

She hastily wiped at her cheeks, smearing away the offending objects. "I'm fine, I'm sorry." The last thing she wanted was for him to think she pitied him, she knew he wouldn't respond well to that. She sniffled and finished drying her tears, "I love you Priestly, now let me show you how much."

She grasped his shirt with trembling hands and released the rest of the buttons slowly, her finger nails gently scraping against his strong chest and flat stomach. After she undid the last button the gently tugged the shirt off his shoulders and tossed it onto the ground below. She met his emerald eyes before she stood to allow him access to the zipper on the back of her gown. The zipper slid unhurriedly across her skin, Priestly taking his time admiring every new inch of skin that appeared as the black material separated. He couldn't help the large grin that spread across his cheeks; she of course had no bra on, a fact that Priestly had noticed immediately when she had first appeared out of the restroom in her dress earlier. Her lacy bright red underwear stood out against her olive skin barely covering her perfectly toned butt. "So beautiful" he murmured.

When the dress finally dropped to the floor in a heap she twisted around to face him. He gripped her waist softly, his thumbs caressing her soft skin. He smiled at the goose bumps that appeared on her skin as he slid his hands down to her hips. He hooked his thumbs in the soft lace of her underwear and slid them down her tan legs before letting his gaze trace every curve of her body.

When their eyes finally met he scooted himself back onto the bed and watched as Tish crawled on top of him before capturing his lips. The kiss was soft and sensual, full of love and promises. Once they were both lying down on the soft cotton sheets she broke off the kiss and sat up to unbuckle his dress pants. Agile fingers worked quickly and the pants were soon discarded, flying through the air and disappearing off the side of the bed. She climbed back on top of him her arms grasping his biceps. They continued their heated kiss until Tish moved to his jaw line, peppering it with feather light kisses. She moved along his jaw all the way to his ear and began sucking and nibbling on his ear lobe. She grinned when she heard his sharp intake of breath, Priestly loved when she played with his ears. Rubbing, tugging, sucking, and biting on his ears was his instant hot button. While she sucked on one ear and tugged on the other's lobe her hand worked its way down his stomach and disappeared into his boxers.

He groaned when he felt her hand under the thin cloth of his boxers and grinned when he watched remove them. After she made him feel things he couldn't even imagine she moved on top of him and paused before continuing. Their eyes met and they both silently acknowledged that this time was going to be different. That this would be the first time they made love, this wasn't going to be sex or fucking but something more, something special. She slowly lowered herself and after a few seconds the two began to move together.

Soon he grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her down to him, flipping them over so he could take control. He buried his face in her neck, reveling in her intoxicating scent as he moved on top of her. Gasps filled his ears with every move, driving them both closer to the edge. He heard her whimper and claw at his shoulders, she was getting close. He moved more quickly and when he felt her start to shudder he finally let himself go. She screamed her release, fingers biting into Priestly's back as she tried to grab him closer while riding out her orgasm. Feeling the sharp pain in his back was his undoing. He buried his face deeper into her neck and groaned loudly as he emptied himself into her.

She felt him collapse on top of her, the heavy weight making her feel warm and safe. A few minutes later Priestly realized he was probably crushing her he rolled to the side and pulled her to him, wrapping his body around hers and squeezing tightly. He picked up his head and gently kissed her temple.

"I love you Tish." The words that had worried him and plagued him for months now easily slipped off his tongue. He smiled into her hair when he heard her response.

"I love you too Priestly."


	13. Chapter 13

When Tish blinked awake she smiled at the form next to her. She had never felt this happy, this content before. She leaned over and gently rubbed his strong back trying to rouse him from his deep sleep. She propped herself up on her elbow and smiled at the clothes strewn across the room, it had been a fantastic night. A frown marred her features though when she looked at his back, there were ten small deep, red crescents on his shoulders. She traced them making Priestly shiver and begin to wake.

"I'm sorry," she whispered softly.

He frowned into his pillow. "For what?" came the muffled response.

She continued tracing the marks gently with her fingernails. "For hurting you last night, this looks like it hurt."

He shrugged sleepily, "Don't worry about it, felt good."

She snorted in amusement before her eyes widened slightly, "Are you serious? Priestly are you a masochist?"

She could see a deep blush rising on the back of his neck. He was silent for a few seconds before he quietly asked, "Does that bother you?"

Tish noticed the insecurity and vulnerability in his voice and quickly reassured him. "Not at all, I just wish I would have known sooner. I want to make you happy. Why didn't you tell me?"

Another shrug, "I didn't want to like weird you out or anything."

She leaned down and kissed his shoulder blade. "I love you, nothing you say will ever weird me out."

He smiled, "I love you too."

A mischievous smile appeared on her face, "So, what kind of stuff do you like?"

He groaned into the pillow and was thankful he was not facing his girlfriend. "This conversation is so past awkward."

She laughed, "I know, I know. Seriously though, please tell me. I want to make you happy."

She was met by silence. She huffed and sat quietly as she thought. "Spanking?"

She was met with a bubble of laughter, "That would be a big no."

"Biting?"

He groaned again, "Tish this is awkward, we are not having this discussion right now."

She smirked, "Take that as a yes. Um…bondage?"

That elicited a response. His back instantly tensed, "No!" He took a breath and finished quieter, "I don't like being trapped."

She frowned, "Are you claustrophobic?"

He finally rolled over onto his back finally facing her. "No, I'm not. I just..." She saw the flicker of fear in his eyes. "I don't want to talk about it. I had a good trip and I want a good day today."

She nodded and forced a warm smile to her face. She hated to think that his fear was caused by something that had happened to him. It felt like every time she thought she knew everything he had gone through, something else would appear. Wanting to get his mind out of the dark place it was headed she leaned down to kiss him. Her tongue swirled around his before she drew back slightly and bit his lip, hard. He jerked in surprise, his eyes snapping to hers. They stared at each other as Priestly's tongue darted out to lick his bleeding lip. He suddenly grabbed her, flipping her underneath him and smashed his lips to hers in a bruising kiss. Her back arched off the bed as he trailed frantic kissed down her neck and along her collarbone. Instead of being gentle and slow their coupling was needy and fast. After a quick flurry of scratching, biting, and screams the two lay next to each other, covered in sweat and panting heavily.

Tish spoke first, "That was…"

Priestly's voice was gruff. "Yeah. I'm…"

Tish cut him off, "Don't apologize, you should lose control more often. I never realized how much you held back, even when we were rough."

He leaned over and ran a hand through her hair, "I don't ever want to hurt you."

"I'm not made of glass. Now get ready, we need to get on the road." He kissed her gently before walking to the shower. Tish lay still on the bed, a satisfied smile on her lips. That had been much more intense than she thought it would be and she loved every minute. Deciding they had a little bit of time before they had to leave she snuck into the bathroom and joined her boyfriend in the shower.

The small blue Mini zipped along the hot black asphalt; it's two occupants preparing for a long drive home. The early morning sun was peeking over the horizon, shining in the back window and eventually reflecting off the rearview mirror.

"This is pretty good, you want some?" Tish looked to her right to see Priestly gulping down a Rockstar energy drink. They had stopped for gas on their way out of town and Priestly had grabbed every magazine, snack, and drink he could get his hands on. She had no idea how he stayed so fit when all he ate was junk food.

"No, I'm good" she answered, munching on her trail mix. He shrugged and finished it off before cracking open another one. In hindsight she probably should have paid a lot more attention to him because thirty miles later he was starting to freak out.

"Is it hot in here? It's hot in here, I'm gonna roll down the window. How fast are you going? I feel like we're not going fast enough. Where are we? God it's hot in here."

Tish looked over in awe at her passenger. He was talking so fast she was surprised she understood any of it. She noticed his face was shining with sweat and he was shaking so badly he was sitting on his hands to keep them still. "Are you ok?"

His head snapped to the left, chocolate brown eyes meeting fully dilated green. "I'm fine, why would you ask that? Do you think something's wrong? Do I look like something's wrong?"

Tish noticed his left eye was beginning to twitch and his chest was starting to heave.

"Tish" he said urgently, a tinge of fear in his voice.

"Yes Priestly" was her exasperated reply.

"I think I'm having a heart attack." She immediately pulled over to give him her undivided attention, he was obviously freaking out. Once the car was safely on the shoulder of the road she turned to evaluate her wired boyfriend. He looked at her with wide, frightened eyes. "I'm dying Tish, this is it. I can't breath, my hearts beating too fast. I love you."

She rolled her eyes. _Note to self: do not ever allow Priestly near energy drinks again. _"You're not dying, I think you're having a panic attack. You had _way_ too much caffeine."

He was shaking so bad he couldn't even keep his focus on her. He grabbed the dash to try to hold himself still. "No this is it. Farewell Tish."

She unbuckled her seatbelt and leaned over the center console to grab his face. "You need to take deep breaths, you're fine. We need to get back on the road though or we're never going to get home. Can you try to sit still so I can drive?"

He stared at her anxiously, "I…I think so." He snaked his hand into his pocket and gripped the orange bottle tightly. He wanted to take one so badly he couldn't stand it but Tish was watching him.

"Good." She buckled her seatbelt again and pulled out onto the highway, careful to keep an eye on the fidgeting Priestly. Three hours later he was slumped against the window completely passed out. She could see that his face was smashed to the glass, his upper lip pulled up against the glass as his face slid down. She was sure the people in the slow lane had quite the view. She smiled affectionately and returned her attention to the road.

"Wake up. Hey!"

They had finally gotten home and she was exhausted. Between driving literally all day and taking care of a panicked Priestly she was running on fumes. All she wanted to do was go home and bury herself in her bed; unfortunately the universe just would not give her a break.

"Wake up!" she shouted. She even pushed him for good measure, but he still didn't wake up. Apparently he crashed just as hard as he had panicked. She huffed in annoyance before an evil thought popped into her head. Desperate times she reasoned with herself. Without a second thought she leaned across the seat and gave him the most painful titty twister this earth had ever seen. His eyes sprung open instantly as he yelped and jerked away.

"What the hell Tish?" he growled angrily.

She couldn't help the bubble of laughter, which seemed to piss him off even more. "I'm sorry but you wouldn't wake up. We're home."

He shot her a glare and looked around to confirm what she had just said. "I guess we are, that was a quick drive."

It was her turn to shoot him a glare. "Says the man who slept for most of it, and might I add, only after he had a panic attack on the side of the road."

He smiled sheepishly, "Sorry, I guess I should probably avoid energy drinks huh?"

"Ya think?" She wasn't trying to be a bitch but she was drained.

Priestly took in her tired eyes and sagging posture. "I'm sorry, I'll let you go." He opened the door and walked to the back of the car to grab his bag. It closed with a loud thunk and he walked to the driver side window to say goodnight. He leaned in the open window and kissed her.

"Thanks for the trip Tish. You're on tomorrow aren't you?"

She smiled softly, she couldn't stay mad at him. "You're welcome, and yes I am."

"Well don't worry about it. I'll go in for you ok? You just stay home and relax."

A frown appeared on her face. "Are you sure? You don't have to."

He shrugged, "I know, you just stay home." He kissed her one more time. "Goodnight Tish, I love you."

She couldn't help the smile that blossomed on her face, "I love you too."

Priestly watched her drive away and when he couldn't see her car anymore he turned and walked up the steps to his apartment. Once inside he opened his suitcase and dug in the pocket of his jeans, pulling out a large wad of hundred dollar bills. He grinned as he looked at every single one, all 109 of them. Tish had no idea he had come home with this much money, and she wouldn't know for a long time. He walked to his room and hid the money in the top of his closet, already knowing what he was going to buy when the time was right.


	14. Chapter 14

**This chapter talks about drug use, which I have no idea about so bear with me people. Song at the end is Hurt by Johnny Cash.**

Piper and Jen waited impatiently for Tish to arrive to work and tell them about her and Priestly's trip. As women they realized the importance of a couple's first trip together and could not wait for details. They both looked up excitedly when the door chimed but their faces dropped when they saw who entered. That was not who they wanted to see.

Priestly entered the grill and arched an eyebrow at their crestfallen expressions, "Don't look so excited to see me. You might tear something."

"Where's Tish?" Jen asked.

He walked behind the counter and threw his bag underneath it, "Home, she was tired so I'm taking her shift."

Piper crossed her arms and turned to him, "Why was she so tired?"

He grinned and placed a hand on his chest proudly, "Because I am just a stud."

The two women stared disbelievingly and Jen started to laugh. He deflated instantly, "Because she drove all the way home. Shut up, you two don't know."

After everything was set up for the day and the OPEN sign was turned outward Jen finally asked about his vacation. Maybe he would share since Tish wasn't there.

"So how was your trip? Did you have fun?"

"It was awesome." The girls waited for him to elaborate but he didn't. They missed Tish, they wanted details and boys just didn't ever share them. Piper even tried to guide him a little.

"…and…"

He looked at her confused, "…and what? That's it."

The girls sighed disappointedly and got to work. This was going to be a long day.

A little before three Tish surprised them all when she walked through the front door. She lifted her large glasses off her face and placed them on the top of her head before greeting everyone in the shop.

"Tish!" the two girls shouted excitedly. Priestly glared at them and grumbled something about no one appreciating him.

She walked behind the counter and grabbed an apron before turning towards Priestly, "You can go home I'll finish my shift."

He looked at her, "You sure?"

She met Jen and Piper's eyes behind him, seeing their pleading expressions. "Ya, you go home."

He shrugged, undid his apron and grabbed his bag. He kissed her quickly, "I'm out. Love you" and disappeared through the front door. Tish turned with a knowing and smug smirk and waited for the inevitable. She didn't have to wait long, Piper squealed and Jen muttered an 'oh my god'.

"Did my ears deceive me or did he just say he loves you?" Piper asked.

"Oh you heard right," she answered smugly. Jen and Piper rapidly fired off questions as Tish recounted her Vegas trip with Priestly. No details were left out, everything from Priestly's gift of gambling to their date, from his saying I love you to the energy drink fiasco was included.

"So he's really good at craps?" Jen asked.

Tish swiveled back and forth on the barstool, "Not just craps, like everything. I've never seen someone who knew so much about gambling. It was like he couldn't lose."

Piper leaned over the opposite side of the counter, "And he was wearing a suit? Pics or it didn't happen." Tish smirked and walked over to her purse pulling out an envelope. She pulled out the pictures and laid them down on the counter. Piper immediately grabbed one where he was donned in a black suit and red tie.

Piper's eyebrows rose appreciatively. "He looks good!"

Tish scoffed, "Good? He looks amazing!"

Jen smiled softly, "Then he told you he loved you? That's so romantic."

"I know! Then we had like the most amazing sex of my life. I mean it's always amazing with him but that was…" she blew out a breath.

Jen blushed. Tish had always spoken freely of her sexual escapades but this was the first time she had ever brought up sex with Priestly. It was slightly uncomfortable to think that the guy she was talking about worked with her regularly. Still, she couldn't help but ask, "Grades?"

Tish grinned, "A's across the board."

"Natural gift?"

"Off the charts."

Jen's blush deepened and Piper giggled. "Tell me again about the energy drinks."

Tish told them again about the disaster that plagued the beginning of their return trip "…and then he says 'Tish, I think I'm having a heart attack'." All three burst out in hysteric giggles. "Seriously the worst thing ever, do not ever let him near energy drinks."

The girls smiled contently. "Thank goodness you came in today, Priestly wasn't telling us anything."

Tish rolled her eyes at Piper, "I know, guys just don't get it. I knew I had to come in and share with my girls."

All three girls were surprised when they looked at the clock and saw it was almost closing. After they quickly finished their closing duties Tish locked the door, climbed into her car and drove to Priestly's house. She walked in to find him sitting on the couch with a headset on, leaning forward with full attention on a video game.

"What are you playing?" she asked as she sat next to him. There were people running all over the screen shooting guns and launching grenades at each other. It looked very violent and hectic.

"Call of Duty" he replied quickly, attention never leaving the tv. She could tell he was highly distracted. Someone appeared on the screen and was instantly stabbed brutally, blood spraying everywhere. Someone obviously said something into his headset because Priestly responded a second later.

"Ya, fuck you too bitch," he laughed. "…Oh I have a life and a girlfriend….Ya I bet, your right hand doesn't count."

Tish rolled her eyes and walked to the kitchen. Twenty-five years old and still acted like a little kid. She noticed there were no dishes in the sink, which meant Priestly probably hadn't eaten today. She sifted through the cabinets and eventually found enough ingredients to make a respectable dinner. Soon the alluring smell of food wafted into the living room, grabbing the gamer's attention. His stomach growled loudly, he hadn't eaten all day. After finishing his match he threw off the headset and ran to the kitchen.

"What's for dinner?" he asked eagerly.

Tish hid her smile and continued making a plate. "This is my dinner, I don't know what you're having."

"What? Why?" he whined.

Tish managed a pissed off look, "Because I come here and you ignore me, then I slave over a hot stove with no help and you expect just to eat it all. Not gonna happen."

It took all her self control to not laugh at his lost expression, "But I…" He stopped and slumped his shoulders. She looked at his pout and finally laughed. How a six foot man managed to look like a five year old was beyond her.

"I'm kidding. Here this is for you, you haven't eaten today have you?" At his head shake she sighed. "You have to eat Priestly, you can't just sit on the couch and play video games for hours on end."

He kissed her when she handed him the plate. "Yes, I can. I'm a guy Tish, video games are just as important to survival as food and water…and sex" he finished cheekily.

Tish made herself a plate and turned to the empty kitchen, "I know I've asked this before, but why don't you have a kitchen table?"

He shrugged, "There's no reason for one, I just eat on the couch."

She rolled her eyes and followed him to the living room, "You are such a guy."

After their dinner was finished and the plates were sitting in the sink she grabbed the remote from him and flipped through the channels, eventually stopping on the news. The woman on the screen with way too much makeup and wild hair was talking about a large drug bust. Tish bit her lip and discreetly looked at Priestly out of the corner of her eye. She had always wanted to ask Priestly questions about his drug use but never had, always feeling it wasn't her business or that it would upset him. She snuck another look at him, they had been together for a few months, maybe it would be ok to ask him.

"Priestly?" she asked hesitantly.

"Hmm?"

"What was it like?"

He frowned and met her eyes, "What was what like?" He felt like he had come in at the middle of this conversation.

She sat up straighter on the couch and nervously licked her lips. "When you were doing drugs, what was it like?"

His eyes widened, _was she seriously asking me this?_ He stuttered, "Why, why would you ask me that?"

She blushed and ducked her head, "Forget it, I'm sorry."

He continued staring at her, debating whether he wanted to answer or not. "It was…it's hard to explain."

She looked up at him and waited patiently for him to elaborate. He was silent, obviously gathering his thoughts. "When you're coming down its the worst feeling ever. Like you're just empty, like there's nothing left. You just wish you were dead because then the ache would stop. It's like nothing matters, it doesn't matter if you live or die, sleep or eat. It's horrible. I remember looking in a mirror and I didn't recognize what I saw, it's like I was a stranger even to myself." He paused and took a breath. "But when you're high, it's indescribable. Its like everything is right in the world. There's no pain, no anything. Every bad thought is a million miles away. Its like your numb with pleasure, like nothing can touch you. You just feel invincible. It's the most amazing feeling ever."

Tish saw his faraway look. "Do you ever miss it?"

He didn't even have to think about his response, it just slipped out automatically. "Yes."

Tish jerked back, shocked. He was supposed to say no. Priestly saw her startled expression but continued speaking. He wanted her to know, to see that this relationship wasn't just sunshine and roses. She needed to know he was a broken man, and that he would never be whole no matter how hard he acted like he was. His past wasn't something that just disappeared, it was always there hiding just beneath the surface.

"I don't miss coming down. The anxiety attacks, nose bleeds, and chest pain sucked. I don't miss watching everyone around me die. But everything else? It's just pure euphoria, no negative emotions. Some days I miss that, not being able to feel anything. I've never felt as good sober as I did when I was high."

Tish hated that she had even brought it up. She had no idea that Priestly felt this way. In her mind he was going to say it was horrible and he'd never touch anything again, but he didn't. She realized she didn't take into account that he was an addict, that the temptation would always be there. She felt tears prick her eyes and she hastily stood up and grabbed her purse. This was just too much for her to process all at once.

"It's pretty late, I'll talk to you tomorrow. Love you bye." The door slamming shut reverberated off the walls and into Priestly's head.

He bit the inside of his cheek to not say anything when she left. He hated every word that had come out of his mouth but she wanted to know, and she needed to know. He was an addict, plain and simple. A part of him would always miss it, but that didn't mean he was going to run out and get high. It still stung pretty badly though when she left. This was a part of him that would always be there and she had feared it, rejected it, and ran from it. He laid down on the couch and grabbed his iPod out of his pocket. He stuck in his earbuds and turned the volume to full blast, Johnny Cash lulling him to sleep with his sad but true words.

_I hurt myself today,_

_To see if I still feel,_

_I focus on the pain,_

_The only thing that's real._

_The needle tears a hole,_

_The old familiar sting,_

_Try to kill it all away,_

_But I remember everything._

_What have I become,_

_My sweetest friend,_

_Everyone I know,_

_Goes away in the end._

_And you could have it all,_

_My empire of dirt,_

_I will let you down,_

_I will make you hurt._

_I wear this crown of thorns,_

_Upon my liars chair,_

_Full of broken thoughts,_

_I cannot repair._

_Beneath the stains of time,_

_The feelings disappear,_

_You are someone else,_

_I am still right here._

_If I could start again,_

_A million miles away,_

_I will keep myself,_

_I would find a way._


	15. Chapter 15

Priestly blearily opened his eyes before quickly slamming them shut, trying to shield them from the harsh light of day. He blinked a few more times but never made any attempt to move. The whisper of music drifted into his ears, coming from his earbuds that had fallen out sometime during the night. He blindly felt around, eventually finding the object and turning it off. A large breath escaped him as he stared at the ceiling. There was a small spider slowly working its way across the barren drywall and paint. He watched as it paused and turned a few times before continuing on its way. Seemed the spider was just as lost as he was. He tilted his head backwards and stared at the upside down clock on the wall, a little after ten. His hand reached behind his head and felt around before grasping the remote, lowering it to the tvs level and flipping it on to some cartoons.

Five hours later he still hadn't moved.

He stared at the colorful characters attacking each other on the screen but he had no idea what they were doing because his mind was a million miles away. Feelings like depression and fear, that were supposed to be masked by his medication were back full force. When he thought about it he supposed it was normal for couples to not get along all the time, things were bound to come up and cause problems eventually. That didn't make it any easier though. He had never been in an actual relationship and he didn't know what was supposed to happen next. Did he give her time to work it all out, did he call her and apologize for his truthful answers? Another large breath escaped him, _god I'm emo. _He felt like he should call her but he made no move to free his phone from his pocket, he just continued lying on the couch watching the day pass him by.

This. This is what he was trying to explain to her last night. He didn't want to feel like this anymore, depressed and unsure. His hand snaked up and itched the phantom itch on the inside of his left elbow, he could almost feel the needle slipping into his skin with an audible pop. Release, that's what he wanted but would never have again. He almost felt like he deserved it, he had put up with and dealt with so much shit in his life that he deserved a short reprieve. Knowing that the hard stuff was just not an option he felt in his pocket for his relief. He pulled out the orange bottle and stared at for a moment. Without anymore hesitation he popped off the top and dropped five pills into his mouth dry swallowing them. He laid still in the silence of the living room, wondering if he did the right thing, shrugging when he realized he didn't care. The bottle went back into his pocket and he sunk back into the couch.

An hour later a small smile broke across his lips. He was buzzing hard, and it felt great.

Tish's hands gripped tightly at the soft plush cover on her steering wheel as shapes and colors blurred past her window. After a long night of restless sleep she decided she needed to go for a drive, the open road always seemed to help clear her mind. Her mind kept wandering to the previous night, how could she have been so stupid? She thought she could easily handle anything in his life but she obviously couldn't. She hated that she couldn't understand what Priestly had gone through, was still going through it seemed. Her attention was grabbed by the radio when she heard a lyric that seemed to fit along her exact thoughts.

_No pain inside, you're my protection,_

_But how do I feel this good sober?_

_I don't wanna be the girl that has to fill the silence,_

_The quiet scares me 'cause it screams the truth._

_I have heard myself cry, "Never again",_

_Broken down in agony, just tryin' to find a friend._

Is that how Priestly felt, is that what he was trying to explain yesterday? In a moment of clarity it finally clicked. She would never understand what Priestly had gone through, what he battled with everyday, and he wasn't expecting her to. She needed to stop thinking and just be there for him when he needed her to be. She slowed down and pulled a u-turn, it was time to set things right.

Her hand hovered over the doorknob wondering if she was doing the right thing, if he would even want to see her. She had asked Priestly to open up to her, to tell her some of his darkest thoughts and she had ran from them. She had essentially rejected him and the thought made her feel sick. So here she was, standing outside his door trying to find the strength to open it and apologize. Her hand finally grasped the knob and turned it. When she walked in she could see his black socks peeking out from the end of the couch and cartoons on the tv. She slipped off her sandals and walked over to the couch. The first thing she noticed was that he was still in what he wore yesterday, only it was much more wrinkled now. He looked like he hadn't moved at all. She stood silently waiting for acknowledgment but it never came, it was like he didn't even realize she was there. She frowned and walked around the front of the couch to get a better look at him. His attention was on the tv and a small smile was playing on his lips, he looked relaxed…too relaxed.

She placed a hand on his arm, "Priestly?" He never moved, not even a twitch. She shook him slightly and his gaze finally left the tv and looked at her.

His small smile was still on his lips, "Hey Tish, when did you get here?"

Her frown was still firmly in place, something was definitely not right. His body looked like it was made of rubber, like he couldn't even support himself if he attempted to move. His whole face looked relaxed, making him look far younger than twenty-five. His eyes, which were usually clear and piercing, were glassy and unfocused. Her heart started to pound as it clicked.

"Are you high?" she asked shocked and hurt. She couldn't believe it.

He stared at her blankly, like her question didn't make any sense to him. He blinked lazily and finally answered. "No. I'm relaxed. There's a difference."

She wanted to slap him and shake him and wake up from this horrible nightmare. Had he seriously gotten high last night or this morning? Her mind raced as she wondered what he was on and if he already had it readily available in his apartment. If it was already in his apartment did that mean he'd been doing this behind her back, had she not even noticed? "What did you do Priestly? What are you on?"

He stared at her for a few seconds before his mind registered that he was supposed to answer the question. "It's ok, nothing illegal. Not like the good stuff."

She grabbed his face trying to get him to focus, her patience running dangerously thin. "What are you on?"

He started to giggle as his attention was diverted to the television. "What? What are you talking about?" he asked.

She gave in to her desires and slapped him hard across the face. His face instantly scrunched in confusion and pain as he felt his now stinging cheek. "What's your problem?"

She gritted her teeth, "Answer me. What are you on?"

"Valium."

She sagged in relief, "How many did you take Priestly?"

"Five, I think. Not exactly sure."

She leaned forward and rested her forehead against his. Now that she knew he was going to be ok her emotions finally broke free. Big tears gathered in her eyes before cascading down her cheeks. Her shoulders started to shake more and more until large shuddering sobs escaped her. Priestly's foggy mind cleared instantly at the sight of his girlfriend crying hysterically. He sat up and grabbed his head when the world started to spin. When it finally stopped he grabbed her into a tight hug and held her while her tears soaked through his shirt. Eventually the crying subsided leaving only sniffling and the occasional hiccup. He felt her pull back and released his arms to allow her to sit up. Priestly felt sick when she looked at him, it was his fault she was this upset. Everything was his fault, she deserved so much better than he could ever offer her. He hated how fucked up he was, how even though he had Tish it still felt like he was sliding down a slippery slope. He opened his mouth to say something, anything but no words came out.

Tish saw him struggling and decided to start the conversation herself. "I came here to apologize for yesterday. I was wrong to just leave after you told me everything. I didn't realize how much of everything you still carried with you. I'm so sorry Priestly, I love you."

He broke eye contact, not feeling like he could look at her red rimmed and swollen eyes any longer. "I love you too Tish. And I…I'm sorry about, well…" His drug addled mind was having trouble thinking of the correct words to use.

"You scared me Priestly. Why do you have valium?"

"I know, and I'm sorry. I have it for this reason, when I need to relax, when life's just too much for me. I usually don't take this many though." Deciding he should be at least a little honest with her he told her about his sleeping pills he had been prescribed also. "I have sleeping pills too, I haven't been sleeping well lately." He stared intently at her waiting for her to sense something more was wrong. He wanted to tell her everything, how he had bottles upon bottles of pills hidden everywhere. His mind was screaming, wanting her to notice how much he's changed recently. How could she not notice that today wasn't normal, that he hadn't pulled anything like this in months. He wished he could tell her how he needed her to notice and dig him out of this pit that was getting deeper by the minute. The fact that she didn't detect anything hurt, did she really not notice that this whole ordeal was him calling for help?

Oblivious to his thoughts she nodded, accepting his answer. "You can't keep doing this. You can't just go off the deep end every time things get tough, you need to find another way to cope."

A heavy sigh escaped him, "I know, but it's hard to just change. Ever since I can remember when things got tough or too real I'd self-destruct. Up until I was sixteen I would do stupid shit that usually ended with me broken and bloody, anything to get my adrenaline pumping. Then that wasn't enough anymore and I just… I'm not trying to sound like I have an excuse, I just don't know how to change."

Something about what he just said sounded wrong to her. "Priestly, you said life was good after you ran away, but what you just said doesn't really go along with that."

He laughed humorlessly, "You caught that huh? Life was good, just not other people's definition of good. I started drinking when I was 16, not enough to interfere with my job or anything but there were quite a few weekend benders. When I was at work and out I didn't have to think, but at home when I was alone, that's when my thoughts would wander. Remind me why I was there, alone."

She pondered on his words, "So did you not graduate highschool?"

He shook his head, "Nope, got my GED though. Nobody wants to hire some uneducated dumbass kid. I got it as soon as I got settled."

They both sat in silence. Priestly thinking about the past, Tish trying to process everything she had just heard.

He cleared his throat, "I want to explain something to you about something I said yesterday." She grabbed his hand to show him she was ready for whatever he was going to say. She wasn't going to run. "When I said I've never felt as good sober as I did high…you make me happy Tish. You make me as happy as I can get straight. I just want you to know that."

She smiled and rubbed the side of his face, "Thank you." Knowing they needed to get away from the heavy stuff she stood from the couch, "You hungry or anything?"

His shoulders dropped when he realized she didn't see anything out of the ordinary and that the conversation was over. Maybe it was for the best, she didn't need to worry about his problems. His problems were his own, he had made his bed and now he would lie in it. "Starving."

"Well since I went through all the cabinets yesterday I know you don't have any food here so is pizza ok?"

A fake smile appeared on his lips, "Ya, pizza sounds great."

**Song is Sober by Pink.**


	16. Chapter 16

Tish was thoughtful on her way to work the next day. Yesterday and even the day before had been a nightmare. It had been a reality check that she wasn't ready for. She felt foolish and naive because she kept repeatedly ignoring everything he had done and gone through. It was frightening how easily she could forget everything in his presence, how easily he could appear completely normal. When she thought about it her mind wouldn't even allow her to consider past Priestly and her Priestly the same people. One was a murderer, a thief, and a liar. He had a drug and alcohol problem and deep seated rage that could take over at any moment. Her Priestly on the other hand was funny and kind with an eclectic style all his own. He was patient, reliable, and emotional. How could they be the same person, and why was the worst one starting to show up more and more lately? Thinking back to their conversation last night she knew there was something he wasn't saying but she didn't want to push him further than she already had. She used to be able to talk to him about anything but now it felt like she was walking a thin line that could be easily crossed with a single word.

She sighed deeply as she pulled into her parking spot and cut the engine. She would have to tread carefully around him but she needed to get to the bottom of what was going on because she had a horrible feeling that this was only the beginning.

Priestly stood on the beach at the edge of the lapping water. He breathed in the salty air and smiled at the feel of the hot sun warming his tan skin. Looking around he noticed there wasn't another soul on the beach, just the way he liked it. He walked into the water fighting off the goose bumps that appeared and dropped his board to paddle out.

He loved the ocean; it was like all his sins could be washed clean in its salty depths. When he was surfing his mind was only on the waves, nothing else. He didn't have issues or addictions, he didn't have relationship problems. He didn't have a care in the world; it was just him and the water. It was times like this that he was happiest, and he was finding that happiness seemed to be an out of reach luxury lately. As his arms worked to paddle out his mind wandered to Tish and how far everything had gone down hill recently, it seemed like he was destined to screw everything up. He smiled to himself and pushed away his thoughts as he reached the first set of waves; he was determined to make today a good day.

A few sets later he was feeling great and decided it had to be late afternoon based on the sun. He decided one more set then he would go home. He paddled out and caught the large wave heading towards him. Everything was going well until his board slipped and he smashed into the water. He despised the fact that no matter how many times he fell into the water it never got any better than the first time. There was always a hint of blind panic when the water hit you with the force of a brick wall and your mouth filled with water. He held his breath as well as he could and waited for his body to start floating to show him which way was up but began to panic when he felt himself get sucked back over the top of the wave.

_Not good, not good, not good._

As he free fell down with the lip he gritted his teeth waiting for the impact that was sure to come from the reef below. He felt himself dropping and intense downward pressure, then pitch black nothingness.

When he opened his eyes he was floating face down in the water. He jerked his head up and gasped for air as he flung his body over his surfboard that was still miraculously tethered to his ankle and floating nearby. He greedily sucked in large gulps of air as best he could while throwing up the salt water he had ingested. He looked around and was thankful that he hadn't been sucked out further than he already was. A frown appeared on his face when he looked at his surfboard and noticed a large red spot under him. He watched it carefully and realized it was coming from him. He reached up to touch the side of his aching head before bringing it back down. Just as he feared his hand was drenched in blood. Knowing there wasn't anyone here to help he began to paddle for shore trying to ignore the pounding in his skull and his feelings of nausea. His body was killing him and his lungs were suffering as he paddled towards the shore with everything he had. After an eternity he was met with the feeling of sand on his hands. After allowing himself a small break he sluggishly stood and walked towards his bag before slipping on his shirt and hopping on his longboard. He almost wrecked a few times but made it to Tish's house no worse for wear.

He reached for the door handle and tried to open it but found for once it was locked. He groaned and pounded on the door but stopped and winced when it only made his head hurt worse. He slid down her door until he was seated in a heap, his longboard sitting next to him and his surfboard across his lap. He felt his eyes start to droop shut and knocked again hoping Tish would answer and let him in, he was getting nervous. If he fell asleep he might not wake up again. He could feel the hot sticky liquid running down his neck and ear but made no move to staunch it. As hard as he tried it just wasn't enough to stay awake, he allowed himself to shut his eyes and hoped he would open them again.

The door suddenly swung open leaving an unprepared Priestly with nothing to lean on. He fell backwards his head dropping heavily onto the entry way tile with an audible thunk. He hissed loudly at the pain.

Tish quickly dropped to her knees, "Priestly what's wrong?" She grabbed his head but pulled her right hand away when she felt something warm and wet touch it. Looking at her hand she could see it was covered in blood. She quickly leaned down further and turned his head to see a long gash slightly above his ear, which was bleeding profusely.

"Oh my God, Priestly what happened?" He still hadn't spoken since she opened the door.

His eyes seemed unfocused and when he spoke his speech was slow and slurred. "Over-the-falls. Hit reef. Think got concuss'n. Hurts."

Tish's heart started to pound in her chest as she tried to stay calm and properly assess the situation. "I'm going to move you into the house ok? You need to stay awake." She grabbed him beneath his arms and slowly drug him into the house, thankful for the tile which made the job slightly easier. Once he was inside enough to shut the door she dashed forward and grabbed his boards and brought them into the living room. After quickly sliding the door shut she ran to the bathroom for towels and washcloths to try to clean his bleeding head. She blindly gripped the towels under the sink before running into the kitchen for bowls and water.

She returned to her injured boyfriend and carefully patted the side of his head to try to see if the gash needed stitches. She noticed his eyes were closed. "Open your eyes, you have to stay awake. Tell me how you got here. How long were you out?"

His eyes slid open with difficulty, his head was killing him and he felt exhausted. "Couple minu..s I think. Rode here. Had to get to you."

"You did good, I'll take care of you. Just stay awake." She was getting scared, every time she would clean the gash on his head blood would instantly fill it again. She voiced her concerns. "We might need to get you stitches Priestly, this won't stop bleeding and it looks like you've already lost a lot of blood." He had so lost so much blood that his shirt was drenched in red and stuck to his shoulder.

He slowly shook his head back and forth. "Can't Tish, they'll take me away from you," he mumbled. He frowned suddenly, "Why am I on th' floor?"

Tish's heart started to beat faster than it already was. "You don't remember?"

"Remember what?" he slurred.

She wanted to cry, this was so very, very bad. "You got a concussion while surfing today."

He blinked blearily, "Really? Huh. I feel sick." Tish barely got the extra bowl to him in time before he leaned over and emptied his stomach. He apparently hadn't eaten today because all he had in him was stomach bile and saltwater. He dropped his head back down and met Tish's fearful brown eyes. "Tish, why am I on th' floor?"

She couldn't help it when she began to cry, she had no idea what to do here. She wanted to take him to the hospital but then they'd have to know whom he is which could lead to trouble. She wanted to scream and sob but barely held it together, only allowing a few tears to escape her eyes.

She slid around to the front of him and gently cradled his head. "Priestly I need you to look at me ok?" She waited until his gaze was somewhat focused on her. "I'm getting scared, I don't know what to do about the cut on your head. Can you tell me what you want me to do?"

He stared at her with unfocused eyes before finally responding, "How bad?"

She smiled slightly thanking the heavens that he was focused and lucid, hopefully he would stay this way. "Bad, about four inches long."

He blinked and his eyes started to slide shut. Tish bit her lip in frustration and fear. "Priestly?"

His lids slipped open again. "Superglue. Rinse it and dump that shit on, hold it closed."

Her eyes widened, "Are you serious?" He had to still be out of it, that suggestion was ludicrous.

He frowned at her, "'bout what? Why am I on the floor?"

She felt her body starting to shake from stress so she gently laid his head back down onto a towel. "Stay awake, I'll be right back." Knowing she had to take his words as truth she quickly stood and ran to the kitchen looking for superglue, digging furiously in her cabinets and drawers. She finally noticed the small tube underneath her scissors in her junk drawer. She grabbed it and ran back to the entry way. Falling down beside him she gently turned his head and stared at the gash, the bleeding was finally starting to slow. She hesitated as she looked at the cut and the superglue. Could she really do this, superglue her boyfriend's head back together? She swallowed down her feelings of nausea and popped off the cap before literally gluing her humpty dumpty back together again. After she finished she laid down beside Priestly and sobbed into his chest, bloody hands clenched tightly in his shirt. How many times did she have to see him seriously injured?

She felt a large hand gently rub the top of her head, "Don't cry Tish, did good. Sorry I fucked m'self up."

Tish shook her head; only Priestly would be apologizing when he got injured.

"I'm just glad you're ok. Why were you alone?"

He stared at her blankly obviously not having an answer for her question. He continued rubbing her hair gently until the sobs finally stopped. Knowing she couldn't move him on her own and he was too tired to try to help she simply curled up next to him on the floor and carefully watched his face to make sure he didn't go to sleep.

A few hours later his lids started to droop again. They had been small talking this whole time but she obviously needed to jump start the conversation again. She leaned up off his chest to look him in the eye. "Tell me a story."

His lids blinked independently. "What?"

"Tell me a story. Anything you want, it can be true or something you made up."

"Story tales are better than real life, I'll tell you one of those." His words were becoming less slurred but he was still speaking slowly as if he couldn't remember what words to speak or what order to put them in.

"Once there was this guy, and he was a pretty awesome dude. He surfed and shit and was pretty good at it. He liked movies too, horrors. He liked it when things popped out and scared him. Any who he met this girl and she was hot. She had awesome boobs."

Tish was quickly realizing that this story had no plot, or character development; it was pretty much Priestly's random thoughts said out loud.

"Where was I…oh ya boobs. So then the guy was like, 'what's up' and she was like 'heyyy'. I should buy a bird, or maybe not. If I got a bird though I could be a pirate. Hey how do you think pirates got peg legs? What were they doing repeatedly that they lost legs? You think they'd stop doing that shit."

Tish couldn't help the amused giggle that escaped her, his ramblings were adorable.

"Are you listening? Here comes the good part. So then I was like 'no way' and whomever I was talking to…I don't remember whom I was talking to but that's not important right now. Is it whom or who? So the moral of the story is never buy a Yugo."

Tish was laughing so hard tears were running down her face. She collapsed next to him clutching her stomach still laughing hysterically. She felt like the pressure of the day had been lifted away. No they weren't out of the woods yet but he had unintentionally relieved all her stress. She leaned down and placed a quick kiss to his lips. "I love you."

"Love you too babe. Ok now the sequel. So when the awesome dude bought a reindeer…"

The rest of the night passed fairly quickly as Tish heard about the many adventures of 'the awesome dude'. When the last adventure had been concluded she looked at the clock on the wall and smiled, "We made it over twelve hours, you should be good now."

She helped him into a seated position and propped him against the wall. "How do you feel?"

"Gross, and like I have the worst migraine ever." He could feel dried blood on his scalp and the side of his neck still where Tish had finally given up trying to wipe it away. His skin was also tight and slightly crunchy from the dried salt water. He couldn't remember the last time he felt this dirty.

She grimaced slightly, "I bet, you want to take a shower then lay down for a bit?"

"Please."

She helped him up and led him to the bathroom. He stripped quickly and sighed contently when he was under the strong spray of hot water. He washed away the salt water instantly feeling better. He brought his hands up to his head but paused, how was he gong to wash his head and not jab himself in his gash? "Tish?" he ventured.

"Yeah?" She had been patiently waiting in the bathroom filing her nails, she wanted to keep an eye on him still.

"I need help with my head."

She set down her file and walked over to the shower curtain and pulled it back slightly. "Shampoo," she instructed with an outstretched hand. She would have just joined him but figured he could use the space and silence for a while. After he squirted the soap onto her hand she quickly worked up a lather before gently scrubbing his head. The clear water going down the drain soon turned into a light pink as she cleaned away clumps of dried blood being mindful of his injury. "Ok, go ahead and rinse." The water eventually stopped and he grabbed a towel before stepping out.

Tish frowned as she reached out to touch him, "Oh Priestly." He had small cuts across his shoulder and a dark bruise on his chest and hip. He had apparently hit more than just his head on the reef.

He allowed her to touch the small cuts but flinched away when she touched the bruises. He felt like he had been run over with a truck. The longer he stood here the more tired he felt. "I'm gonna go lay down ok?"

She nodded and moved out of his way. He paused when he got to the door, "I'm supposed to work today, could you call Trucker?"

She took a few steps forward and placed a kiss of his lips, "I'll do it right now, you go take a nap."

She walked to the kitchen and grabbed the phone dialing the number of her boss and friend quickly. After the third ring she heard a sleepy 'hello?'.

"Hey Trucker it's Tish."

A yawn could be heard through the line. "To what do I owe this early phone call Angel?"

Tish walked around the house opening the blinds allowing the morning light in hoping it would wake her up a little bit. "Priestly can't come into work today, he was surfing and went over-the-falls."

"Is he ok?" came the worried response.

"He cut his head open pretty badly but he's fine now. He has a concussion."

"Ouch, glad he's ok. I'll cover for him today. Give him my sympathies, I've been there and it sucks."

She smiled, "Thanks Trucker."

After hanging up she considered watching tv or showering herself but she just felt too tired. She walked to her room and peeked inside. Priestly was staring at the ceiling. Frowning she walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. "Why aren't you sleeping, is everything ok?"

He sighed and met her eyes, "Can't fall asleep for some reason." He wasn't about to tell her that the reason he couldn't fall asleep is the fact that he hadn't fallen asleep without the aid of prescription pills in a while.

"Are you hungry or anything, maybe that will help. Did you even eat yesterday?"

"No, I wasn't hungry." The fact was that he was never hungry anymore and he had no idea why. He supposed it could be a combination of things like stress and the pills he was on but he had no idea. He hoped the feelings would disappear quickly though because Tish was bound to notice when he started losing weight.

She rubbed his leg affectionately, "I'll make you something to eat, hopefully that will help." She stood and walked out the doorway to the kitchen. As she spread peanut butter on a piece of bread she realized that Priestly had been eating much less than usual and had been skipping meals frequently. She didn't think he had lost any weight but why were his eating habits changing? Pushing the thought away for later she finished the sandwich and walked back to her room. She shook her head when she saw he was fast asleep. She closed the door quietly and walked to the living room to eat the sandwich herself and try to take a nap.


	17. Chapter 17

**The return of Joe!**

Joe smiled to himself, four months, it had been four long months since Joe had seen Tish and now she was only a half hour away. He gripped the steering wheel tighter and turned up the radio letting Tom Petty wash over him. When a position had become available in the San Francisco field office he had jumped at the opportunity to be closer to his sister. Yes it meant he had to move, and get a new partner but that was just fine. He hated how much of Tish's life he had already missed; it was time for him to reclaim his role as big brother. In the past few months he had called once or twice but everything had been so hectic that he never really had time to actually talk to her about her life. Last he spoke to her she was still with Priestly, which was surprising, comforting, and slightly nerve wrecking. Joe was pleased that Tish was happy and was finally in a stable relationship instead of being with multiple losers but it also meant she was pretty serious about Priestly and he didn't know his intentions as of yet. So here he was cruising down the interstate and closing in on his sister's house with a giant smile plastered on his face.

When he finally arrived he jumped from the vehicle and ran to the door, knocking excitedly on the wood. He frowned when there was no answer thinking she must be at work_._ He grabbed the handle and turned it, shaking his head when it flew open. How she never worried about intruders was beyond him, maybe it was a Santa Cruz kind of thing. He called out to the stillness but there was still no response. He decided to just wait her out so he walked over to the couch and flipped on the tv.

A little over an hour later Joe heard the door open and turned to greet Tish, except it wasn't Tish who had come home. Joe watched with barely concealed amusement as Priestly entered the house. Joe watched him throw down his bag and board near the door and walk to the kitchen. He had in earbuds, which were turned up so loud Joe could hear the faint music all the way from the kitchen. He took the chance to take in his appearance. His hair was in two bright blue mohawks and his eyeliner was in place around his light green eyes. His light blue shirt read _'Yet despite the look on my face… you are still talking', _and he was wearing long cut off black shorts and boots. He had on multiple rings and bracelets and if Joe remembered correctly a few new piercings in his ears. He also had many new tattoos, as his left arm was mostly covered in them. He watched as he softly head banged to the music only he could hear on the way to the kitchen and proceeded to pour himself a large glass of purple kool-aid. Joe's smile slowly slid off his face when he observed the slight slump in the normally confident man's stance. It was almost unnoticeable but was definitely there, he looked like the world was trying to crush him.

Priestly gulped down his glass of kool-aid and turned to walk into the living room to wait for Tish. When he walked into the room and looked up he saw a random man standing there watching him. He yelped loudly and hopped backwards before he noticed who exactly was in the room. He jerked out his headphones and placed his hands on his knees trying to slow his racing heart.

"What the fuck Joe? You trying to give me an early heart attack?" he asked shakily.

Joe answered with an amused chuckle, "I see your observation skills are sharp as ever."

Priestly stood up straight and flipped him off. "Excuse me for not expecting people to just be hanging out in Tish's living room."

Joe grinned and walked over to hug the shorter man. Joe instantly frowned when he felt Priestly's shoulder blades jutting out sharply from his back. Pulling back he noticed his slightly gaunt appearance and how loose his clothes seemed to be. After the quick embrace Priestly stepped back from Joe and held out his hands, "Dude, I appreciate your interest but I'm with Tish."

Joe rolled his eyes and punched him in the arm. "You're such a little smart ass. So when's Tish get home?"

Priestly rubbed his now throbbing appendage. "About an hour. So uh, don't take this the wrong way but what are you doing here Joe?"

Joe looked way too smug for Priestly's liking. "Visiting, but I'll wait until Tish gets here to tell you the news."

Priestly nodded slowly before shrugging and walking into the living room to watch tv. Joe followed him and sat on the couch next to him. The pair watched for a while before Joe broke the silence and spoke. "So what's new with you? Haven't spoken to you in a while."

Priestly shrugged, "Not much."

Joe waited for more but Priestly quit talking. He tried to start a conversation again.

"New ink?"

Priestly glanced at his arm, "Yup."

Joe narrowed his eyes and frowned, this was definitely not normal behavior for Priestly. The normally chatty and sarcastic man seemed almost standoffish, as if he was only answering to satisfy Joe.

"Everything ok with you?" he asked concerned.

Priestly stiffened. Had Joe seriously seen in five minutes what everyone else around him had missed and avoided for months? The thought wasn't as much of a relief as he thought it would be. "Everything's fine, why?" he snapped.

Joe continued staring at him, as if the answer would suddenly appear on his face. "You just seem quiet, or down or something. You've lost weight too."

Priestly huffed agitatedly. "Everything's fine Joe."

Joe's stare never wavered. "You sure about that?"

Priestly turned towards him eyes flashing dangerously, "I'm _fine._"

Joe thoughtful frown suddenly gave way to a confused expression. "What's that noise?"

Priestly shot him an exasperated and irritated look. "What noise?"

"When you talk there's a clicking noise."

Priestly just stared at him before he stuck out his tongue revealing a black barbell.

Joe raised an eyebrow, "Seriously kid?" No matter how hard he tried he just didn't understand the need for piercings. He could understand tattoos, he had a few but piercings eluded him. What was the point of sticking pieces of metal in your body?

Priestly stared at him unamused before smirking, "Your sister likes it." He knew he was being snarky and crude but he did not want to be bugged right now. Ever since he had stopped taking his medication a few days ago he seemed to have no patience what so ever. He was even being short with Tish, which killed him, but at the same time he couldn't help how he felt mildly pissed off all the time. He hadn't wanted to stop taking everything but the pills just weren't working anymore, his body had built up an immunity to the foreign objects he constantly ingested. Also the realization that he had pretty much developed an addiction or at the very least a dependency to prescription pills had scared him enough to stop taking everything. Now he was wondering if quitting cold turkey was such a good idea, he felt like a rubber band stretched so tightly that at the slightest touch he could snap. He hadn't hardly slept in days and at times he shook so bad he had to hang out at home alone to hide it.

Joe narrowed his eyes as he caught the sexual innuendo but let it go for the time being.

A short time later the door handle jiggled and two sets of eyes turned towards the door, "Priestly who's car…" she trailed off when she noticed her brother in her living room. She squealed, threw down her purse and ran towards her brother, throwing herself into his arms. "Oh my god, Joe! What are you doing here?"

Priestly instantly noticed how coy he looked and felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. "Well, I'm visiting from the San Francisco field office… where I now work," he finished with a grin. Tish immediately hugged him again, beyond excited.

"Joe that's great! Now I can see you a lot more."

Priestly watched the two talk excitedly before silently walking to the kitchen, deep in thought. A part of him was glad Joe was close now, it made Tish happy and he honestly liked the guy. The other part of him was nervous, the more Joe hung out the more there was a chance of a slip up about his past or him noticing his off behavior. He shook his head pushing the thoughts away and began opening and closing cabinets looking for a snack, it was dinnertime after all.

Tish heard him rummaging through the cabinets and yelled from the living room, "Don't snack I'll make dinner." She turned to her brother. "Are you staying for dinner?"

"Of course, I actually have a couple days until I have to report."

She smiled and kissed his cheek, "So you're staying here right?" After Joe's nod Tish retired to the kitchen and began digging out pots, pans and ingredients. Priestly worked around her, automatically helping her cook and set the table.

Joe watched the pair carefully from his spot in the living room. They seemed completely comfortable in the kitchen together, both moving around each other and helping the other without any words. It was so _domestic._ He thought about earlier when Priestly had just walked into the house without Tish and made himself comfortable in the kitchen. Apparently they were much more serious than they were when he last visited. The thought that should have made him happy made him uneasy. He realized this wasn't just a passing fling, that the two seemed closer than ever. He hated that he still didn't know about Priestly, and now seeing them so close made him want to know even more. He wasn't a Special Agent for nothing, he would find out that he was hiding.

"Dinner's ready!" Tish called from the kitchen, rousing him from his thoughts. The trio ate the prepared meal and conversation came easily between Tish and Joe. Priestly however was mostly silent, confirming Joe's earlier fear that something was wrong. After dinner they returned to the living room to relax.

Joe sat down on the chair and watched as Tish sat down on the far end of the couch and Priestly laid down, his head on her lap. Apparently they weren't afraid of showing affection in front of him anymore. Priestly yawned and allowed his eyelids to slid shut as Tish gently massaged his scalp.

Tish watched the tv quietly, mindful of her sleeping boyfriend but Joe's attention was on the dozing man. He hadn't noticed it earlier but he looked exhausted, dark shadows appearing under his eyes.

After a while Priestly's eyes blinked open and he yawned tiredly. He sat up and kissed Tish before disappearing into her room without a word.

Joe waited until the door was closed before he moved to the couch. "What's up with him Tish?"

She grabbed the remote and turned down the volume before turning to face her sibling. "What do you mean?"

Joe glanced at the closed door again; making sure the conversation would remain private. "He's quiet and almost rude. I know I haven't seen him in a few months but it's like he's somebody else. He's gaunt too, is he even eating?"

She bit her lip and started playing with her hair nervously. "I know. I don't know what's wrong though and I don't want to bring it up. I've noticed the weight too but when I bring it up he just says he's 'fine'."

Joe knitted his brows together, "Why don't you want to bring it up?"

She sighed, "He's been so short lately, I don't want to start an argument. I wish he would just tell me what was wrong."

"Do you have any idea what it might be? Are you two doing ok?"

She leaned over and placed her head on Joe's shoulder looking for comfort. "We're doing ok, I guess. I just have no idea what's wrong and he isn't giving any clues."

Joe grabbed his sister's hand and squeezed. "Do you want me to try to talk to him?"

She sighed sadly, "I don't know, I'm almost afraid of what might be causing this. What if he's going to break up with me?"

Joe shook his head; "He's not going to dump you, despite being down his eyes still lit up when you walked in the door. Whatever's going on in that bright head of his has nothing to do with you directly." He saw her unconvinced expression. "I'll talk to him tomorrow ok? See if I can figure anything out."

She snuggled into his side, "Thanks Joe."


	18. Chapter 18

**Special thanks to inspirationimagination!**

Morning came too soon for Priestly. He groaned quietly and sat up on the overstuffed bed, standing and dressing before exiting Tish's room. He slowly shuffled to the kitchen and started the coffee maker desperate for some caffeine. He had actually gotten a little bit of sleep last night but instead of helping him to feel rested he felt even more exhausted than before.

He was sitting in the kitchen nursing a large cup of coffee and staring at the table when Joe entered. Priestly sat silently not even acknowledging the other man. He didn't know why but he just felt pissed off towards him; he was tired and agitated and just wanted to be alone. Joe poured himself a cup of the hot brew and sat down across from Priestly.

"Good morning." He watched Priestly's eyes flicker towards him before retuning to their previous position. Joe let out a small sigh; this surprise visit was not going how he pictured it.

"You're up early today." Joe waited for a response that never came. His irritation at being ignored started to grow. He was trying to be polite and patient with the younger man but it wasn't working, maybe a harder approach would get a reaction.

"So are you intentionally being an ass or is this just your subconscious asshole coming out?"

A ghost of a smile appeared for a second before it was gone. "Morning."

Well it wasn't much but at least he spoke. "You got a chip on your shoulder or something?"

That got a response. Priestly's eyes darkened and narrowed as his grip on his coffee cup tightened.

Joe pushed more, "Well I'll just talk to myself, I don't need your input. So I got here yesterday and was excited to see my sister but then I realized there was this little shit hanging around so now I have to deal with that instead of spending time with my sister."

Priestly moved so fast Joe heard more than saw him move. In an instant he had gone from sitting in his chair brooding to standing up palms splayed wide on the table eyes blazing. "Don't."

The command was clear, _don't push me,_ but Joe ignored it. Maybe if Priestly lost control he would tell him what was wrong. Joe opened his mouth to speak again but Priestly stopped him before a syllable escaped.

"Don't Joe." Priestly was losing control quickly. He didn't know why Joe kept pushing him but he was at the end of his rope. He didn't think Joe realized that he was a few words away from getting attacked.

"Don't what kid?"

Priestly glared at the older man before pointing a shaking finger at him. When he spoke his voice was quiet but carried a hard edge, "Don't fucking push me."

Joe didn't like the tone or the aggressive position he was in. He stood himself and planted his hands on the table mimicking Priestly's stance. "You really want to go there kid?"

Priestly refused to back down or be intimidated; he had been pushed around enough. He held strong never breaking eye contact waiting for Joe to make the first move. The tension in the room was so thick and heavy it was almost difficult to breath.

Joe decided this needed to stop now before anybody got hurt so he sat down slowly and adopted a neutral expression as he tried to diffuse the situation he had created. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. Why don't you sit down and we'll start over. Can we do that, please?" He still wanted to know what was wrong but getting in a fist fight at 7:30 in the morning wasn't going to accomplish anything.

Priestly eyed him wearily before slowly lowering himself into his chair.

"This is good coffee."

Priestly stared at him before leaning forward and placing his forehead on the cool tabletop. All his adrenaline left his body in an instant. He didn't even know why he jumped at Joe this morning. He hated how out of control he felt, his moods were as much of a surprise to him as they were to everyone else. He blew out a breath knowing he needed to get himself together as Joe was watching. "Ya, it is," came the muffled response. "Tish buys the good stuff."

Joe stared at Priestly's head still sitting on the table. He wished he would just tell him what was wrong. Staring at his head he noticed a long scar hiding beneath the short hairs on the side of his head.

"What happened to your head? Looks recent."

Priestly's hand rose from beneath the table and gently traced the scar, "Surfing accident, hit the reef."

Joe shook his head, "Brutal, how many stitches?"

Priestly stayed silent not offering an answer. Joe took another sip of coffee, "You hungry? I'll make breakfast."

"That'd be great Joe." He wanted to add an 'I'm sorry' but his mouth didn't seem to want to form the words. He heard the fridge open and soon the kitchen was filled with the smell of sausage and eggs. He finally lifted his head off the table.

"You want to talk about it?" Joe asked as he set a plate down in front of Priestly.

He glanced at Joe, "Nothing to talk about."

"You sure about that?"

He shoveled a bite into his mouth, "Pretty damn sure."

The two ate in silence, neither one wanting to upset the delicate balance that had been found. Priestly chewed slowly and kept his head down, determined not to talk to Joe about anything. He was working through everything and as soon as his mind recovered from the lack of prescription pills everything would be fine. Yes, everything would be fine. That's what he had to keep telling himself because it had to be true. After swallowing his last bite he caught Joe's expression. Joe was trying to analyze him and he felt his agitation raise a notch. Not wanting to start something again he stood quickly and placed his dishes in the sink. He thanked Joe before slipping into Tish's room and closing the door. After stripping he crawled back into the bed and pulled the covers over his head. Maybe if he stayed in here all day he wouldn't cause problems for anyone else.

Tish woke shortly after Priestly had returned to the bed. Thinking he was still asleep from last night she crept out of the room and after showering walked to the kitchen.

"Morning Joe." Looking around at the dishes she asked, "You made breakfast?"

He nodded, "Ya I made Priestly and I breakfast."

She looked surprised, "He was up? He never wakes up early."

Joe shrugged, "He was up before I got up." He debated telling her about the heated exchange but decided he didn't want to put a damper on her day. He would discuss everything with her later. Joe watched her leave for work and walked to the living room.

Tish returned home from work in the late afternoon.

"Hey Joe, how was your day." She slipped off her sneakers and walked over to the couch, sinking into the soft cushions.

"Fine, just hung out here."

Tish looked around and frowned, "Did Priestly leave?"

He jerked a thumb towards her door, "No he's been holed up in your room all day."

She sighed sadly and walked to the kitchen with Joe in tow. "Did you talk to him at all?" she asked in a hushed voice.

He leaned his large frame against the counter and crossed his arms. "I tried during breakfast but he was having none of it. Jumped all over me. I thought he was going to throw a punch."

Tish sat down heavily, "Seriously? He's been short but not angry."

Joe let out a humorless laugh, "He was pretty pissed off at me." He paused, not wanting to upset her. "Tish you need to be careful around him, until we can figure out what's wrong he could be a danger to you. He's been aggressive since I got here, I feel like he's looking for a fight."

Tish scoffed, "He'd never hurt me Joe."

Joe nodded slowly, "Just be careful Tish."

Tish stared at him before turning and walking to her room. She entered slowly and saw that Priestly was asleep in the large bed. She walked over to him and rubbed a hand down the side of his face. She gasped when Priestly's hand shot up and grabbed her wrist in a bruising grip.

She grimaced and tried to jerk her hand away, "Priestly let go."

He finally opened his eyes and released his grip. He noticed Tish's fearful gaze and sat up, "I'm sorry Tish, I was dreaming. Are you ok?" He had been having a terrible nightmare, it seemed that was all he ever had these days. He could never sleep and when he finally did terrible things assaulted his tired mind until he woke.

"I'm fine."

Priestly nodded before climbing out of the bed and dressing quickly. He hated the concerned and slightly fearful look she was giving him. Suffering by himself was one thing but making Tish worry was out of the question. "I think it's better if I just go home, I love you." Tish watched as he slipped out the door not waiting for a reply. She dropped her head down dejectedly when she heard the front door open and close.


	19. Chapter 19

**This chapter and the next were originally one chapter but i felt they needed to be split, this one came out short though. To make it up to you all I'll post the next chapter tomorrow.**

Priestly's eyes snapped open, harsh breaths escaping him as he tried to wake up from his horrible nightmare. He wiped the sweat off his forehead and sat up trying to steady himself. He rose and walked to the window, pulling up the shade and looking at the bright sky. He slid the glass open and sat in front of it letting the soft breeze wash over him. He wanted all this to stop, he wanted to feel happy and ok again but it just wasn't happening. He couldn't believe he had hurt Tish yesterday and instead of talking to her like an adult he had ran home, tail between his legs. He groaned loudly and slammed the back of his head against the wall hoping the pain would focus him. All it ended up doing was giving him a pounding headache, just like the one her had last night which had forced him to try to go to bed early. Deciding his one man pity parade was just too pathetic he exited his room and readied himself for a day in the sun.

He walked down the sidewalk enjoying the feel of the warm sun on his skin. He was thankful he had the day off and figured just being outside was entertainment enough for today. Surfing and even longboarding just seemed like too much activity right now.

"Priestly? Oh my god!"

Priestly turned to see a small pixie like woman running towards him at full speed before grabbing him in a bone crushing hug. He frowned and stood uncomfortably until she stepped back, a huge smile on her lips.

She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, "You don't recognize me do you? Picture me with long black hair, way too much makeup…." She trailed off waiting for him to recognize her. His eyes suddenly widened.

"Jessie? Holy Shit."

His mind raced as memories flooded his brain. Jessie had been his… girlfriend? No that wasn't the right term, more like the scantily clad, drug addicted devil on his shoulder during his darkest times. Images of the past assaulted his brain in rapid succession leaving him feeling slightly nauseas. Jessie had been his companion for three and a half years, no matter what he did or where he went she was always at his side. They had been inseparable, both depending on the other for survival. Priestly remembered all the drugs they shared, all the sex, but worst of all the fights. The two had some pretty bad knock down drag outs in their time. Thankfully this was all in the past.

"What are you doing here, you look great." She had obviously cut off her hair which was now a short midnight black pixie cut. She wore black skinny jeans, converse sneakers and a bright red t-shrit. Her makeup was soft and she was a healthy weight for once. It was a huge improvement from the emaciated, pale faced mess he had last seen. Being honest with himself she was actually quite beautiful.

Her smile grew, "I know right? So do you." She stood on her toes and reached up to rub his hair. "Loving the hair."

Priestly blushed and rubbed the back of his neck. He walked a few steps to the closest bench and sat down, Jessie sitting down next to him so close their bodies were touching shoulder to knee. Priestly figured he should be uncomfortable with the contact because of his relationship with Tish but Jessie felt familiar, and he liked the feeling.

The small woman leaned her head on his shoulder, and entwined their fingers together. "So talk, I heard some heavy shit went down and then you were just gone. I thought you died." The way she said it so nonchalantly spoke volumes of the way life had been. They had expected people they knew to die, it was just a fact of life.

His gaze dropped to his shoes. "Ya shit went down, I got arrested."

She nodded, "Did you kill him?"

Priestly kept his face stoic, even as a flicker of surprise passed over him. Of course she would know what happened, she always did. "Ya" came the quiet reply.

She squeezed his hand softly, "Good, bastard deserved it. So then what?"

He shrugged, "Came here, got clean. I've only had one lapse. What about you?"

She reached into her pocket and grabbed a pack of cigarettes and a lighter, "You want one?" Priestly shook his head and she shrugged before lighting her cigarette and blowing out a steady stream of smoke. "After you disappeared it just wasn't the same. If we were messed up together it was ok, I mean at least I knew there was one other person as fucked up as I was, but after you left it was just me. I didn't want to die alone with a needle stuck in my arm. So I took the cash I had left, bought a bus ticket to the farthest place I could and got out of there. I've been clean for a few months now."

Priestly lifted his arm around her and pulled her closer, "That's awesome Jessie."

She smiled and pulled another drag from her cigarette. "So tell me more! Keep going!"

He raised his eyebrows and smiled down at the small woman next to him, "Well I've got a great job. I work at a little sandwich shop, I love it there. Got my own apartment." He suddenly smiled widely, "I've got a girlfriend, she's…she's the best."

Jessie grinned, "I think someone's in love!"

He laughed, "Yeah, yeah I am. We've been together a few months, it's going pretty well." He wanted to say its been great but it hadn't been recently, because of him.

The petite girl threw her butt on the ground and stomped it out. She didn't like the tone his voice had taken. "Talk, what's up with you? Something's wrong."

He cleared his throat, "Nothing."

She slapped his chest, "Bullshit, just promise me you'll ask your girl for help if you need it."

He didn't respond and Jessie didn't push it knowing she had no right to. Silence blanketed the pair as they sat on the bench, locked in a close embrace and lost in memories.

"We made it Priestly, we survived." Priestly swallowed thickly as moisture gathered in his eyes. That sentence said it all. They had survived years of self inflicted abuse, and came out healthy on the other side by some miracle.

She suddenly looked at her watch, "Damn, I have to go." She stood up and wiped the tears that had gathered in her eyes. They hugged each other tightly, both knowing they would never see the other again. She pulled back and kissed his cheek, "Goodbye Priestly."

He smiled softly, "Goodbye Jessie."

He watched her walk away before turning around and walking in the other direction. It felt as though a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders. His past was finally in the past. Saying goodbye to Jessie was saying goodbye to everything that had happened in the past few years. Every loose end had been tied up, it felt like he was finally free. He couldn't help the grin that spread across his face, maybe everything really was going to be ok.


	20. Chapter 20

Still feeling pleased after seeing Jessie he walked quickly to his apartment and grabbed his board before heading for Tish's house. It was time to finally come clean. He was going to tell her about everything; the pills, the panic attacks, his insecurities about their relationship, pretty much every bad thought he had in the past few months. He entered the house to find her sitting on the couch the tv on low. He plopped down next to her and greeted her happily, "Hey babe!" He was met with a hard glare.

He smile disappeared instantly, now what had he done? "What's wrong?"

She was obviously very upset. "What did you do today?" The question was simple but Priestly noticed it seemed like it was meant to convey much more.

Still frowning he answered truthfully, "Went for a walk, why what's up?"

Her calmness and monotone voice was making him nervous. "Is that all you did today?"

He shrugged. "Uh yeah, that's it. Went for a walk then came over here. Tish, what's wrong?"

She finally turned towards him. "Why do you smell like cigarettes Priestly?"

He frowned_. _"I ran into an old friend."

Tish suddenly shot up from the couch before turning her angry stare towards him, "Looked like a hell of a lot more than a friend to me Priestly."

Priestly's eyebrows knitted together in confusion before he realized Tish must have seen him with Jessie. "That was Jessie, we used to hang out a lot. Tish sit down so I can explain, I have stuff I need to tell you." He held out his arms trying to grab her closer.

She backed away, "You used to 'hang out'? You were sitting and acting way closer than an old friend. Don't lie to me!" She was shouting now.

Priestly stood up to defend himself, he was feeling attacked. "Ok ya we were together but that was a while ago. We used to get messed up together. What's your big issue here, why won't you let me explain?"

She lifted her palm towards him, her voice rising with every word she spoke. "You Priestly, you're the issue. I mean it's always something isn't it? The relapses and the drug issues and now the old girlfriend. I'm sick of having to worry about you all the time!"

Priestly's anger boiled over and before he realized it he was yelling at Tish like she was yelling at him. "Is that what this is about? You don't trust me!" The realization hurt worse than he could have imagined, but instead of feeling disappointed or upset he felt angry and betrayed.

She put her hands on her hips, "No, I don't. It's hard to trust an alcoholic druggie!" And there it was, the giant elephant in the room. The thing that was barely talked about but always present. Priestly felt himself losing control but couldn't stop it from happening. The admission from Tish that she didn't trust him was his undoing; his mind was starting to crack. Years of abuse, self inflicted and otherwise had left his mind weak and now it was happening. He was finally having a full blown mental breakdown and of course all his pills didn't work now.

It was like his mind was disconnected from his mouth, he wanted to stop talking but he just kept speaking. "What do you want from me Tish? The truth? We used to fuck, we were fuck buddies. We'd get so fucked up we couldn't see straight and then we'd fuck. So there you go. Let's see what else can I tell you, oh here's one, how about the fact that you don't even notice how screwed up I am! I mean come on Tish, you're supposed to know me best of all yet you can't tell when I'm practically drowning! Is that enough truth for you!"

Large tears began rolling down her face before she ran to her room, she stopped at the door way and turned to him. She screamed "Fuck you freak," and slammed the door behind her.

Priestly stilled, shocked that the person he loved the most would call him the one word that had always been used to hurt him. Feeling his anger turn into blinding rage he walked over and banged on the locked piece of wood. "Tish, you don't get to just run away, you come out here and talk damnit! Is this what you want? I'll walk out that door and never come back!" He knew he needed to reel it in, to calm down but he couldn't.

Joe pulled up to the house, back from his trip to the grocery store that Tish had sent him on earlier. As soon as he opened his door he could hear screaming and arguing from inside the house. Growing concerned he ran up the steps and swung open the door. Tish was nowhere to be seen but Priestly was banging on her door with both fists.

"Open the fucking door Tish!"

"Hey!" Joe walked up and jerked Priestly backwards away from her door. "What the hell's going on?" Joe looked at Priestly's face and grew apprehensive. He had never seen so much anger on the kids face. Something was very, very wrong.

Priestly pointed a finger at him, "You stay the fuck out of this, it's between me and Tish."

Joe reeled at the harshness in his tone. What the hell was going on? He knew he needed to get Priestly out of there so he could talk to Tish.

He pointed towards the door and tried to remain calm. "You need to leave Priestly, go cool off."

Priestly's hands curled into fists, "Fuck you Joe. You don't tell me what the fuck to do."

It was like Joe was talking to another person, the Priestly he knew was gone. His eyes were dark and filled with barely contained fury. His jaw was clenched as tightly as his fists, his body shaking with adrenalin. To be honest be looked slightly maniacal.

Joe got defensive at Priestly's tone and posture, and reacting on instinct he punched him hard before grabbing the man and walking quickly to the door and throwing him down the steps onto the sidewalk. Priestly tumbled down the steps and eventually landed face down on the concrete. He groaned and pushed himself into a sitting position, wiping the blood from his busted lip on his arm. He glared at Joe from his still seated position on the pavement, dizziness washing over him.

Joe cracked his knuckles from the doorway, "I don't know what the hell's going on but I know this isn't you kid."

Priestly interrupted him, "You don't know shit Joe, we hung out for a few days after you tried to fucking kill me and that's it." He pulled himself up and wiped at the blood now running down his chin. "Tell Tish she doesn't have to _worry_ about the freak anymore, we're done."

Joe watched the kid stalk away before he closed and locked the door. He heard a door creak open behind him and turned to see a blotchy faced Tish come out. Joe ran over to her and hugged her tightly as she broke down in sobs.

After a few minutes he pushed her back slightly to make sure she wasn't hurt, "Tish did he hurt you?"

She sniffled and shook her head, "No he didn't touch me. We were arguing then it just got worse and worse. It was my fault Joe, I should have just asked him not accused him." Another round of sobs escaped her, "Oh god Joe, I called him a freak."

He shook his head, "Regardless he was out of control."

"I know, some things wrong with him Joe. I've never seen him like this, I'm scared. I need to call him and apologize, I can't believe I said that to him." She pushed away from her brother and walked towards her phone but was pulled back by Joe's hand.

"Leave it Tish, he's way too upset to talk right now. Wait until tomorrow before you try to talk to him."

She looked doubtful but agreed.

"Tish what happened?"

She wiped at her eyes and took a deep breath, "I saw him today with a girl and instead of just asking him about it I just attacked him. Then he said I didn't notice how screwed up he was." She looked at Joe with a pleading look. "I did notice Joe I just didn't know how to talk to him about it."

Joe hugged her again, "I know Tish, I know. We'll get it all figured out tomorrow ok?"

Joe watched her nod and walk silently to her room before closing the door with a soft click. He watched her closed door before walking out of the house and sitting on the front steps. He pulled out his cell phone and dialed a familiar number.

"Hey, It's Joe. I need a favor…"


	21. Chapter 21

Priestly stared at the ceiling from his spot on the carpet where he had laid down last night after finding his bed and the couch just weren't cutting it. He couldn't believe what he had said to Tish and to Joe. It was like he was watching from the inside while his mouth spoke on its own. He felt like he was going crazy, and maybe he was. Last night he had snapped, something he knew would inevitably happen but hoped wouldn't around Tish. He felt sick. His relationship with Tish was over and it was all his fault. He wanted to call her and apologize, beg for forgiveness but knew it wouldn't help anything. It's for the best he decided. Tish deserved more than he could offer. She deserved someone who would always make her happy, someone who would always treat her right, someone who wasn't weak and broken and a freak. Priestly felt tears prick at his eyes as he remember Tish's words. Hearing her call him the word he despised the most was so much more painful than anything he had ever gone through before. Everything his father had done paled in comparison because he loved Tish and trusted her and she had thrown it all back in his face.

He lifted his head off the carpet to look at the door when a loud knock interrupted his thoughts. He knew the person he wanted to be on the other side of the door wasn't there so who the hell was it? Hearing the knocking again he lifted himself of the floor and walked to the door angrily. Whoever was on the other side was going to have just as much of a bad day as he was already having.

As soon as he jerked the door open a fist flew towards his face, connecting with a sickening crunch, Priestly staggered back clutching his bloody nose. "What the fuck?"

Joe walked in and slammed the door behind him before grabbing the front of the smaller man's shirt and slamming him against the wall. His head hit so hard he actually blacked out for a few seconds. He tried to get his eyes to focus but the pain in his head made it difficult.

Joe stepped back and pointed to the couch. "Sit down now."

Priestly stood defiantly, or as defiantly as he could on his wobbling knees. "You don't come into my house and boss me around. Who the fuck do you think you are?"

Losing what little patience he had left he grabbed Priestly and threw him down on the couch before staring down at him.

"I told you if you ever broke her heart I'd kill you, so I strongly suggest you plead your case right now."

Priestly held out his arms. "Just do it Joe, put me out of my fucking misery!" To his and Joe's surprise his voice came out pleading instead of angry.

Joe's fury drained out of him instantly at Priestly's words and tone. He couldn't tell if he was being melodramatic or serious. "Kid talk to me, what happened yesterday? What's up with you?"

"Oh, now I get to tell my side of the story. Nothing happened yesterday Joe. I ran into an old friend who happened to be a girl and we caught up. I went straight to Tish's yesterday because I wanted to talk to her about something then she goes off when I walk in the door. She doesn't trust me Joe, she called me a freak." His angry rant that had started with a loud voice ended in a cracked whisper.

Joe blew out a breath, "When I got there you were banging on the door cursing the world. You scared her, and me. What was that?"

The young man on the couch shook his head, "I couldn't control myself Joe. I feel so far out in left field right now it's not even funny. I was two seconds away from kicking her door when you grabbed me."

Joe watched the man carefully knowing this was going to get much, much worse before it got better.

"Priestly, there's something that's been bugging me since I met you."

The young man looked up at him curiously, waiting for him to continue. Joe's calm voice and random sentence had thrown him.

"Your eyes."

Priestly blinked before frowning, "My eyes?" He felt lost, what was Joe even talking about?

Joe's expression hardened slightly, "I don't think Tish sees it because she doesn't know what she looking for, but I do. I've been with the FBI for a while now, and I'm very, very good at my job. I've seen and dealt with enough people to get a pretty good read on them just off their eyes. Working in homicide there's always been one constant; it's a hardness, a sharpness that I've only ever seen in eyes that have watched the life drain out of someone at their own hands. You have those eyes..."

He watched the man on the couch tense, his fight or flight response kicking in. He could see every muscle in his body coil, ready to lash out at any threat. He watched fearful, apprehensive light green eyes harden in an instant to unrecognizable rage filled orbs.

"...don't you Boaz?"

The confused and upset Priestly was gone, replaced by a hard but calm man. "So you know everything huh? You know Tish has been playing house with a murderer. What are you gonna do about it Joe?" The question was asked so calmly, as if he was asking him if he wanted cherry or apple pie. His tone was that of someone with nothing left to lose.

"What do you think I should do?"

Priestly stared calmly at him, "Well you should probably arrest me but we both know I'm not going to let that happen."

Joe stood at the ready, knowing something was going to go down soon. He was still surprised though when Priestly launched off the couch and attacked him, fists flying. Priestly was like a wild animal, instincts and survival winning over a disciplined attack. Joe finally gained the upper hand after receiving a few good hits and shoved him away. "You really think that was gonna work?"

Priestly smirked humorlessly and held up Joe's sidearm, "I think it did work."

Joe's heart started to race, this was going so much worse than anticipated. He couldn't believe his stupidity. He had brought his weapon as protection, not knowing how Priestly was going to react. Now he was staring down the barrel of his own gun with a murderer on the other end all because he fell for a simple diversion.

Priestly pointed the gun towards him. "I'm sorry it had to be like this Joe, I never wanted to hurt Tish, or you. I was crying for help and no one seemed to notice but I guess they will now huh?" His voice sounded defeated and it scared Joe.

Joe watched fearfully as Priestly flipped off the safety with a flick of his thumb. "Let's talk about this kid."

Priestly scoffed, "What's there to talk about Joe? Huh? I'm going to jail for murder, forever. There's no deals or escapes, there's nothing. Tish is gone, I messed that up. I have nothing left Joe. No. I'm taking care of this once and for all."

Joe's gaze fell on Priestly's finger which curled around the trigger. What happened next was completely unexpected. Instead of Priestly pulling the trigger he turned the barrel towards his head and rested the cool metal against his temple.

Joe held up his hands in a placating gesture, "Priestly put the gun down, ok? We need to talk about this." His heart was beating so loudly he was surprised he could even still hear what Priestly was saying. Joe's mind went into over drive; he had to diffuse the situation quickly.

Large tears gathered before falling down Priestly's cheeks, "There's nothing to talk about Joe. I don't want to go to jail. Why is beating your child everyday ok but ending the abuse isn't? Why is it ok to punch your kid, to burn him, to hunt him down and beat the shit out of him? Where was everyone when I was needed help? I'm tired Joe, I'm just tired. I'm tired of all the bullshit and the everyday battle. It's better this way, nobody wants me."

_God, this kids fucked up._ "Priestly, I want you here. You're important to me."

Priestly just stared at him with dead eyes. Joe tried again, "What about Tish? This will destroy her. Do you want to do that, hurt Tish?"

The heavy gun wavered slightly as he sniffled. He looked so lost. "I already hurt Tish. All I do is hurt people. I just can't do this Joe, life's just too much. I've tried to be normal, I've tried to move past everything but I just can't. It's my fault mom's dead, it's my fault dad's dead, and it's my fault I hurt Tish."

Joe tried to think of anything to say to try to get through to him. "Priestly listen to me. Life sucks ok? It's hard and cruel and it'll knock you down every chance it gets. Then when you think it can't get any worse life kicks you again and grinds you into the dirt, but you know what? You get back up, dust yourself off and keep going because it's the only thing you can do. You keep going because there's people that want you to go on, because they need you as badly as you need them. Tish needs you Priestly, just as bad as you need her. Don't do this kid, give me the gun." He watched as Priestly broke eye contact, obviously thinking about everything Joe had just said. He watched as his grip around the gun slackened before his arm slowly dropped to his side. Joe slowly walked forward and gently grasped the gun before flicking on the safety and reholstering it. He watched Priestly carefully but the kid just stood there pathetically, the only thing moving was his silent tears sliding down his face. Joe hesitantly walked forward and grabbed the smaller man into a hug. Priestly stood still not returning the gesture. He continued hugging him as his own tears started to fall. This whole ordeal had scared the shit out of him. Joe pulled out his cell and called Tish.

"Joe? Where are you?"

"I'm at Priestly's."

"Why? I need to talk to him, not you." She heard a sniffle and Joe clearing his throat. Her nerves stood on end, "Joe what happened, what's wrong?"

"I'm coming back soon, I'll tell you then. Priestly's coming with me."

"Joe, what's wrong? Please give me something."

"Hang on." He moved the phone away from his head and let go of Priestly, leading him to the couch. Priestly sat silently as Joe walked to the kitchen where he could talk but still watch him.

"Priestly finally hit bottom Tish. It's bad, we need to keep an eye on him."

"Joe, what do you mean we need to keep an eye on him? What happened?"

The words were hard to say, his throat kept constricting. "He took my gun Tish, he tried…he tried to…"

He heard a sob on the end of the line, "Is he ok?"

"Physically ya. As for anything else I don't know."

"Somewhere in his apartment he has sleeping pills, Rozerem or something. Find them and give him two ok? Then get him here. Hurry Joe."

Joe searched through the bathroom finding nothing. He checked on Priestly again but he hadn't moved, it was like he had just checked out. He walked into his room and pulled open the nightstand drawer finding nothing. He sighed frustrated before walking to the closet and looking for something, anything that seemed out of place. Then he spotted it, the only shoe box in the closet and it looked almost new despite being older. He bent down and grabbed it before lifting off the top. He blew out a deep breath before grabbing everything in the box and stuffing it in his pockets. He grabbed the sleeping pills before going to the kitchen and getting a glass of water.

"Here Priestly, take these ok?"

Priestly slowly looked at him then at the pills in his outstretched hand. He reached out and took them before dry swallowing them. Joe sighed and set down the glass of water. "Come on kid, let's go."

The ride was silent, neither man knowing what to say. By the time they got to Tish's house Priestly was passed out, the pills having already put him to sleep. He walked around the passenger side and lifted the smaller man out. He was shocked at how light and frail he was. It killed him to see the man who he considered a friend this way. Last time he had seen him Priestly had been in great shape but now he was a shadow of himself. Tish swung open the door letting them in.

She opened her mouth to speak but Joe shook his head and headed for her bedroom. He walked in and gently laid Priestly down. Tish entered right behind him and removed Priestly's shoes and wiped his bloodied face with a warm washcloth. She sat by him and gently rubbed his head before brokenly asking, "What happened Joe?"

Joe stood by the doorway exhausted. "I know all about him Tish, after yesterday's episode I called in a favor. I know everything about him, everything he tried to hide."

Tish nodded silently waiting for him to continue.

"I went over there to confront him, I was so pissed but when I got there it was like it wasn't him. We got into an argument and scuffle then he grabbed my gun and… God Tish I've never been so scared in my life."

Tish placed the washcloth on the nightstand and stared at the sleeping form in front of her. "I don't understand what happened though, it's like he just lost it yesterday."

"He did lose it yesterday Tish, I think he's in the middle of a full blown breakdown and I think I know what's setting him off. We have to watch him, he might try something again."

The pair was silent for a few minutes before Tish asked, "Are you going to arrest him?"

Joe shook his head. "I think if I did it would do more harm than good to all parties involved. I still want to talk to him about everything though at some point. Come on, let him sleep we need to talk."

She leaned down and kissed Priestly's forehead before following Joe into the kitchen.

Tish sat quietly at the table as Joe paced back and forth. "Tish have you noticed anything off about him lately, or even in the last few months? Any different behavior?"

She thought hard, "He's seemed quieter lately. It's like even when he's laughing and happy he's almost holding back. He's been short too, but that's only been in the last few days."

"How long has this been going on?"

"Probably like three months, maybe longer."

"Tish there's something you need to see." Tish watched in horrified silence as Joe pulled out bottle after bottle of prescription pills out of his pockets. Anti-anxiety pills, pills for depression, for staying asleep, for falling asleep, for panic attacks.

She grabbed the bottles one by one. "What is all of this? Oh my God there's so many. How could I not notice Joe? How could I miss this, he was right. I'm supposed to be the one that notices things and I missed it. Everything's my fault."

Joe shut down her train of thoughts immediately, "This is not your fault Tish, none of it. The next few days are going to be hard, we need to watch him in case he tries anything again. He shouldn't ever be left alone."

Her glassy eyes widened, "You really think he'll try again?"

Joe nodded, "In his mind he's got nothing left to lose. He thinks its over between you two." He paused. "Is it?"

She began to cry softly, "I don't want it to be, I love him."

Joe walked over and hugged her tightly, "You go ahead and go to bed, I'm going to get the house safe for him. You take care of your room and I'll see you in the morning ok?"

She nodded silently and walked to her room.


	22. Chapter 22

Priestly laid still as he began to wake up and tried to take in his surroundings. He was obviously at Tish's house but he couldn't remember getting here. Everything suddenly came to him and he gulped. Why was he even here, why did Joe even care? He startled at the sound of Joe's voice.

"How you feeling kid?" Joe asked leaning against the doorframe. He had been checking on him every 15 minutes waiting for him to wake.

Priestly sat up and rubbed his eyes trying to remove the sleep. "Fine, what time is it?"

The large man checked his watch. "About 6 pm"

Priestly sighed and looked at the floor; if this wasn't the most awkward moment ever he had no idea what was. How were you supposed to act around someone that watched you try to kill yourself a few hours ago?

"Where's Tish?" He wanted to see her badly but felt nervous about actually speaking to her.

"Went to go get dinner, she'll be back soon." Priestly released a relieved breath, at least he wouldn't have to face her this minute.

Priestly rose from the bed and pushed past Joe as he walked out into the hallway towards the bathroom. He noticed Joe was walking behind him.

He turned and glared, "Seriously Joe?"

Joe crossed his arms. "After last night, yeah kid. I'm watching you, deal with it."

Priestly stopped at the bathroom door, "You're not coming in here."

"No, I'm not. I'll wait right here."

Priestly glared before slamming the door shut in Joe's face. Joe listened as Priestly shut the door and turned on the faucet. Then he heard what he had feared. Drawers were opening and closing as he frantically searched for something sharp. He heard a loud thump as his fists hit the counter top followed by a loud, "Fuck!"

Joe was soon met with silence and after a few minutes he started to worry. He knew he had removed everything harmful so what was he doing? He slowly turned the handle and looked inside the bathroom. He sighed heavily when he saw Priestly lying in the bathtub staring blankly at the tiled wall.

"You ok?"

"Not really Joe. You're more efficient than I realized." His voice was calm and detached, holding no anger or fear.

Joe walked further into the bathroom and seated himself on the toilet lid. "Well thank God for that. Talk to me kid, what's going through your mind right now?"

Priestly continued staring at the tiled wall. "I'm thinking about how I wish I could find something sharp so I could slit my wrists and bleed out."

Joe hadn't expected him to be so honest, or so blunt. He was momentarily stunned speechless. "Why do you want to do that?"

Priestly looked at his hands as if the answers were written on his palms. "It's all I can think about. It's like a task that needs to be completed. If I can just accomplish it I won't have anything else to worry about."

"What's so bad kid, what is so wrong with your life?"

Priestly sunk deeper into the tub. "Everything Joe, I don't expect you to understand. You kind of have to live it to get the full effect."

"Why don't you talk to me about it?"

"I don't even know where to start," and wasn't that the truth. Where did it start? There was his mom's death, everything that followed, his recent behavior, the list went on.

"Just talk, anything that pops into your head."

"I tried to kill myself when I was 13 and again when I was 19. I tried to hang myself, the rope broke. The second time I locked myself in my garage with the car running, fucking car died right after I passed out."

"Sounds like somebody doesn't want you to succeed."

Priestly finally looked at him. "You believe in God Joe?"

"Yes I do." He couldn't not believe in God with his job. He had seen true evil; he had to believe there was something else.

Priestly broke eye contact and stared back at the wall. "Some days I hope there is a God, that all this pain, all this suffering is worth it. That there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Other days I hope there isn't one because I know I've got a one way ticket downstairs."

"You don't know that."

"Murders, liars, and thieves don't go to heaven Joe. Even I know that," he said with a sad smile.

"There's such thing as forgiveness Priestly."

"Not when you don't believe you deserve it. Why do you care so much Joe?"

Joe wondered that himself, yes he should care because it's another human being in need but there was more to it. "Because I know that in spite of your past you're a good person. Plus I like you and in spite of everything I think you're good for Tish. Why do you find it so hard to believe that people care about you?"

Priestly rolled his eyes as if the answer was obvious. "Because I'm a bad person. Because good things don't happen to people like me." He paused before rubbing his nose gingerly. "My face hurts."

Joe let out a small huff of laughter. "I would think so, I punched you twice and threw you down the stairs."

Priestly looked at Joe with a serious face. "I seem to get injured every time I see you."

Joe smiled, "Ya, you do you little dumbass. Now come on lets wait for Tish, or you want me to feed you in the tub?"

Priestly affectionately looked at the tub, "I love the tub. When I was younger I would lock myself in the bathroom to get away from my dad. It was the only door in the house that had a lock. Tub was my safe spot."

Joe regarded the man with a serious face. He stood and extended a hand. "You don't need a safe spot anymore. Now come on."

Tish arrived shortly after the two sat on the couch to wait. Priestly felt nervous and apprehensive, this was the first time he would see Tish since the fight. When she walked in the door Joe grabbed Priestly's arm when he felt the younger man start to tense. Priestly had tried to run but Joe prevented it. Joe stood up from the couch and collected his dinner from Tish before disappearing into the guest room.

"Are you hungry Priestly?" Tish asked softly from the kitchen.

Priestly stayed on the couch but offered a small hesitant nod. She put the food on plates and walked into the living room and handed Priestly his dinner. Priestly never met her eyes, just ate silently with his plastic wear. He glared at the spork in his hands, knowing he was eating with plastic wear because of the…_incident. _After they finished the two sat in silence, neither one knowing where to begin.

Priestly wanted to apologize and beg for forgiveness but felt a simple 'I'm sorry' would be insulting to Tish. He sat silently, hating this entire thing. The more he thought about everything the more he hated it. He felt tears prick at his eyes and tried to force them away, he didn't have a right to cry. He felt Tish rub his back and it became harder to keep it all in, when she leaned over and pulled his head to her chest he lost it. He clenched his teeth and sobbed. He cried for the loss of his mother, the loss of his innocence, the death of his father, the self abuse, and finally for the recent attempt of taking his own life.

Tish hugged him close and cried along with him. She whispered soothing and comforting words to him and held him as he released everything that had been building. When she felt him finally start to wind down she scooted back on the couch and tried to lay Priestly down but he wouldn't let her go, he just held tightly not speaking.

She leaned down and kissed his head, "Come on, lets get you cleaned up and go to bed."

He didn't respond but allowed Tish to lead him to the bathroom. She started the water and locked the door before removing her clothes and Priestly's.

"Oh Priestly," she whispered softly. She took in his appearance sadly, gently tracing his jutting collar bones. She couldn't believe how thin he had become. Priestly was a larger man and here he was just wasting away, he wasn't made to be this thin. She wished she had noticed how thin he had become sooner but they hadn't been intimate in a while and not for lack of trying. Every time she tried to initiate anything he came up with an excuse, she saw now that this is what he was hiding. She met his sad eyes and offered a small smile. "Everything's going to be ok. I'm going to help you through this."

Once under the hot water she quickly washed before helping Priestly who didn't seem capable of even the simplest task at the moment. When she was finished she turned off the water and dried them off before walking back to her room. She pulled back the covers and climbed in closely followed by Priestly. He climbed into the bed and attached himself to her wrapping his arms around her and squeezing her desperately. She wanted to talk about everything, she needed to know what was going on with him but knew she wouldn't get the answers right now.

She kissed him softly and whispered, "I love you." She didn't get a verbal response but felt the arms around her tighten.


	23. Chapter 23

Priestly woke to someone gently rubbing the side of his head. When his eyelids separated he saw Tish's beautiful eyes staring intently at him. He watched her silently as she traced his features slowly, taking in every detail. Her hands moved to the side of his head and slid down his ears before moving to his eyebrows and nose.

Her eyes started to water. "I almost never got to see these freckles again." She loved his freckles; it was like a hint of innocence underneath everything else. They were spread across his nose and light, only visible when you were close. She remembered the first time she had noticed them, Priestly had been embarrassed by them but she had quickly assured him that they were beautiful. It seemed like so long ago.

He watched the moisture collect on her eyes but stayed silent, still unsure of what exactly to say.

She sniffled, "Can you please talk to me? Say anything. Just talk please." She was desperate, he hadn't said a word to her since the fight.

He kept his mouth shut as the minutes continued ticking by. Eventually his soft lips parted slightly as he whispered, "I don't know what to say." She waited for him to say more. "I want to say I'm sorry but I don't feel like I have the right."

She gave him a watery smile. "If you're sorry you should apologize."

He broke eye contact, unable to say the words to her face. "I'm sorry Tish."

"I'm sorry too Priestly."

His eyes met hers again, desperation and fear clearly visible in the green irises. "I don't know what happened I was just so mad. If Joe hadn't gotten here I could have hurt you."

"You'd never hurt me," she said while shaking her head.

"You don't know that," he whispered.

"Yes I do. I have a few questions that I'd like you to answer, is that ok with you?"

He nodded and waited. He knew Tsh deserved to hear everything, to know exactly what was going on in his head.

"Who was the girl you were talking to yesterday?"

"Her name's Jessie. We used to hang out when I was fucked up. We were close but only as close as you can be when you're high all the time."

Tish swallowed thickly, "Did you love her?"

He shook his head instantly, "No. Not even close."

She let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding. "I'm sorry I accused you, I know you'd never do anything to hurt me. Next questions, why all the pills?"

Priestly sighed heavily, Joe must have found everything. "I've been having a hard time lately and I just wanted it to go away. I went to a doctor to get some help and he prescribed me some stuff but I ended up eating them like candy."

"Are you still?"

He shook his head, "No I stopped a few days ago. I was afraid of where it would take me. When I stopped taking them I went cold turkey and it really messed me up, I still feel out of control."

"What did you want to go away?"

"I don't know, everything? I've just been down and upset in the past few months and I have panic attacks. I've had them since I.. since my dad died. They come out of nowhere and pretty much cripple me until they pass. I just feel like everything's going too well and I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. Nothing good ever happens to me and I'm having a hard time with it."

"Bad stuff doesn't always have to happen to you, enjoy the good things."

"I'm trying, it's proving to be difficult."

"Talk..talk to me about yesterday."

"I don't want to," he said in a small voice as he buried himself deeper in the bed.

"I don't either but we need to. Why would you even try to do that? What was going through your mind?"

Priestly looked at her beautiful eyes that were shining with unshed tears. "That everything would be better if I was dead. I don't have much to live for, my families gone, I don't even have a fucking pet that depends on me." His voice began to waver. "I lost you, I don't have a lot to live for."

A few tears escaped her eyes and slid down her cheeks. She leaned her head forward and touched her forehead to his. "You didn't lose me, just because you say its over doesn't mean I stop loving you."

"So, are we still together?" he asked, his voice fearful and hopeful.

"Do you want to be? Do you love me?"

His eyes widened, "More than anything. You're the single best thing that's happened to me since mom."

She leaned forward and kissed him gently, smiling slightly at the fact that at least one issue had been resolved. When she pulled back she could see the relief and love in his eyes and leaned in for one more kiss.

She felt bad that she was going to ruin the moment but there were still things that needed to be talked about. "You were with Joe when I got home last night, did you guys talk about anything."

Priestly looked away ashamed.

"Priestly, what happened?"

"I wanted to try again."

She felt tears well up, "Why, I don't understand why." Her voice was desperate, she wanted to understand so badly and she just didn't. She couldn't imagine anything being bad enough to consider ending your own life.

To her surprise Priestly snapped at her, "I don't know why Tish I just want to. You and Joe keep asking me 'why' but I don't fucking know." He suddenly jumped up from the bed and walked to the corner of the room before sliding down the wall to a seated position, knees drawn to his chest and his forehead down.

"I just don't know Tish. I don't have all the fucking answers ok?" he mumbled.

Tish started to rise from the bed but was stopped with a hand gesture from Priestly.

"Don't come over here, I feel pissed off."

She stopped her movement and sat back down on the bed, "What do you mean?"

"I mean I want to hurt something or somebody so just stay away from me. I can't control it, I don't know if it's me or the lack of meds." He tried to sit still but feeling Tish's gaze on him made him more agitated. He stood up briskly and walked to his clothes pulling them on quickly. Seeing Tish's fearful look he said, "I'm going outside, you can come to but don't talk or anything, I just have to wait for this to pass." He slid open her window and hastily climbed out.

Tish knew she needed to keep an eye on him, he obviously wasn't done with what ever he was going through. She dressed and carefully climbed out the window, spotting him sitting against the large tree in her back yard, eyes closed.

She sat down next to him, staying silent.

Tish watched him for another few minutes before lying back on the grass and staring at the clouds floating lazily in the azure sky. Priestly appeared next to her after a few minutes and lowered himself down onto the grass his hands behind his head.

She glanced over, "We good now?"

He released a puff of breath, "Ya, we're good now."

Tish rolled onto her side and scooted closer to her boyfriend before lying her chin on his chest staring at his face. His green eyes met hers and the two laid in silence, both waiting for the other to speak.

Finally Priestly couldn't stand it anymore. "What?"

She smiled and shook her head, "Nothing, I was just thinking that this is nice. We haven't really just relaxed together for a while it seems to be either sleeping or arguments."

He frowned and brought a hand up to rub her hair, "I'm so sorry Tish, I'm going to get my shit together, I promise. I just need to get my head clear."

She picked up her head and kissed him softly, smiling internally. "Is there anything else you want to talk about? Or need to talk about?"

Priestly looked back to the sky, it was easier than saying these things not looking at her. "Tish, I… I have a lot of insecurities about our relationship."

She frowned, "Why? I love you more than anything."

Priestly refused to look at her. "I'm just afraid one day you're going to wake up and actually see who you're with. I know you can do so much better than just me. You deserve someone who isn't all fucked up all the time."

Tish pulled herself up and straddled Priestly so she could look him in the eye. "Priestly I love you. There is no better for me. I don't want anyone else, just you."

She was blessed with a small smile, which she promptly returned. Maybe everything would be ok.

Or not.

She should have paid more attention, she knew that. She knew she had been naive when she had talked to Priestly earlier, she had assumed everything was over and they could start moving forward, she had been so wrong. Priestly had declared he was hungry and had disappeared into the kitchen a while ago. Tish frowned and set down her book and hopped off the bed to see what was keeping him.

When she walked around the corner she froze as her breath caught in her chest.

"Priestly, what are you doing?" she asked softly not wanting to spook him.

Priestly stayed still eyes fixated on the large knife he was holding over his wrist. He didn't acknowledge Tish at all just kept staring at the knife.

Tish slowly walked into the kitchen trying to make a small amount of noise so he would know she was coming towards him. She stopped a few feet away. "I need you to hand me the knife Priestly."

Priestly suddenly blinked as if coming out of a haze and frowned at the knife in his hands.

"Hand me the knife Priestly." Her tone left no room for argument, it was soft but firm.

His frown deepened as if he was confused about what was happening but he slowly pulled it away from his wrist and gently sat it on the counter before stepping back away from the offending object.

Tish took a few steps forward and grabbed the knife, "Where did you get this?"

He looked at her blankly; "It was in the back of the drawer, I don't know…" he trailed off uncertain and fearful.

She grabbed him around the waist and pulled his arm around her shoulders, "Come on lets go to my room and watch some tv ok?"

Priestly nodded dumbly before allowing her to steer him. He had no idea how the knife had even ended up in his hand but it had shaken him badly. It was like his mind was working on its own without his consent. When Tish had jarred him from his stupor he couldn't even remember opening the drawer let alone noticing something stuffed in the back of it.

When Tish walked into the room and shut the door Priestly turned towards her and gently backed her against it. He dipped his head and began peppering her neck with kisses, sucking softly with each one.

Tish brought her hands up and placed them on his chest before trying to push him away slightly. "I don't think this is a good idea right now. I think we should just lay down."

Priestly lifted his head back up and met her eyes. He looked scared and lost and it broke her heart. "Please Tish, I need this right now." He wished he could express just how badly he needed it right now. He needed affirmation that he was still alive, that she still loved him despite everything that had happened. He needed the connection, the touch to remind him that he this was real, that everything was real.

She looked doubtful as she searched his eyes and face for anything he wasn't telling her. His broken, "Please Tish" was her undoing. She pulled his head down until their foreheads were touching and caressed the side of his face. "Ok."


	24. Chapter 24

**Probably only one or two more chapters before the epilogue, sad to see this coming to an end! Thank you all for reading!**

Joe walked into the house and looked around for his sister but his eyes fell upon Priestly sitting alone on the ground in front of the tv doing something. He looked around for Tish but didn't see or hear her anywhere. He set down the bags for dinner on the kitchen counter and walked to the living room to check on Priestly. When he walked up behind him he could see that Priestly was painting his nails black, doing very careful brush strokes over a magazine. Joe watched silent and dumbstruck.

"Creeper."

Joe looked at the back of Priestly's head, snapped out of his trance by the sudden voice. "What?"

Priestly still did not turn, "Creeper. You walk up behind me and just stand there breathing."

Joe stuck his hands in his pockets and continued watching the younger man. "I've just never seen a guy paint his nails before."

"Sit down and I'll give you a manicure."

Joe's eyes widened and looked at Priestly's face, which was now turned in his direction. He was grinning mischievously. Joe couldn't help but smile back, this was the first time Priestly had shown any amusement or happiness in two days. This was the Priestly he knew, not the suicidal train wreck that had recently appeared.

"Where's Tish?" Joe asked as he turned and walked to the chair a few feet behind Priestly and sat down, slipping off his shoes.

"My babysitter got tired, she's taking a nap."

Joe nodded thoughtfully before glancing at the television. "Are you watching a cooking show?" he asked amused.

Priestly's head bobbed up and down. "Giada at Home, it's calming. Plus she's a awesome chef, you can learn a lot from her." For a moment Joe thought he was joking but his voice held no humor.

"You cook?" He was having a very hard time picturing Priestly cooking in an actual kitchen and not at the grill.

Priestly shrugged after returning the cap on the polish. "It's a hobby."

"Why don't you cook tonight?"

Priestly arched an eyebrow as he blew on his nails, "You have to use knives to cook Joe, plastic wear won't cut it."

Joe thought hard before snapping his fingers as an idea popped into his head. "I'll supervise."

Priestly's expression became stern. "No, you won't. I don't like to cook in front of people." A mocking smile appeared on his face and he spoke in a matter-of-fact tone, "Plus if I decide to off myself, not much you can do about it if I'm already holding the knife."

Joe snorted, knowing he was just being sarcastic. "You're a shy cook?"

Priestly patiently explained, "It's a private hobby that I find very relaxing. When people watch me it stresses me out."

"Huh."

Priestly rolled his eyes. "Nice sound Joe."

Joe sat forward in the chair, "Can I trust you to make dinner without bleeding all over the food?"

Priestly nodded slightly, "Nicely put, very sensitive to the situation. And yes you can. I think I'm good now."

"Think?" Joe asked catiously.

Priestly sighed heavily and rolled his eyes, "If I stab myself in the neck then we'll both know I thought wrong. You can say I told you so to my body on the way to the morgue."

Joe grinned, "You're snarky today. Good to have you back kid."

Priestly just nodded before opening up the clear polish.

A couple hours later Tish woke from her nap feeling rested and refreshed. Last night had been the turning point for Priestly. He and Tish had talked for hours after their love making, each speaking about their fears and insecurities to the other. It had been cleansing and made both feel like a huge weight had been lifted. Joe had left early in the morning to take care of a few things so Tish and Priestly simply enjoyed each others company all morning and afternoon. They had laid together on the couch and played cards, Priestly winning most of the hands much to his amusement. He had taken time to explain her bluffs and by the afternoon she had won a few hands. When her eyes started to drift shut Priestly had tucked her into bed with a promise that everything was ok and he would be in the living room when she woke up. Overall it had been the best day with Priestly that she had had in months.

She slid out of the bed and straightened her shirt and shorts before walking into the living room and seeing Joe on the couch watching the news. "Where's Priestly?"

Joe turned to look at his sister, "Cooking, apparently we're not allowed in there."

Tish sat down next to her brother and brought her legs up underneath her, "Not when he's cooking, even I'm not allowed."

Joe shook his head, "That kid's got more quirks."

Tish smiled, he wasn't wrong. "He used to cook with his mom all the time, I think that's why he doesn't like anybody else in there. He feels like they're taking her spot." Tish remembered when Priestly had told her about how he and his mom used to cook all the time. She frequently pushed him to talk about his mom, knowing it always made him happy to share his best memories.

Joe nodded before saying what had been on his mind all day yesterday and today. "I read the file and I can put two and two together but I still don't have an idea about what his life was like. On paper it sounds like a nightmare but he actually lived it. Has he told you about what it was like?"

Tish's face became very serious, "Bad Joe, very, very bad."

Knowing she wouldn't tell him what Priestly had confided in her for the past few months he moved on to a safer topic. "He seemed better today."

A smile broke out on Tish's face, "Ya, he's getting back to normal. It's just taking some time. We had a good morning."

Joe smiled back, happy that his sister was happy. He let out a small laugh, "When I got here he was painting his nails."

Tish laughed picturing Joe watching Priestly paint his nails, "He does a better job than me."

Joe shook his head fondly, "I swear, that kid." The pair lapsed into silence for a few minutes until Joe looked at his watch wearily. "He's quiet in there, think we should check on him? It's been a while."

Tish nodded and just as she rose from the couch Priestly walked into the living room wiping his hands on a dishtowel, "Dinner's ready."

Joe and Tish walked to the table and stared in amazement at the dinner in front of them. Tish kissed Priestly on the cheek happily before sitting down. A few minutes later the three were eating quietly, Priestly because he didn't know what to say and Tish and Joe because they were enjoying the food too much.

Halfway through the meal Joe finally spoke. "Holy shit, you could have been a chef kid. This is unbelievable."

Priestly nodded his thanks and took another bite.

"Why didn't you go into cooking?"

Priestly shrugged and swallowed his bite, "Like I said it's a hobby. If I started doing it for work instead of pleasure it wouldn't feel right."

Eventually everyone finished eating and Tish offered to do the dishes. The two men walked out to the living room but Joe stopped Priestly before he sat on the couch. "Hey kid."

Priestly turned and took in Joe's slightly nervous appearance. "What's up?"

Joe liked his suddenly dry lips, "Do you think we could talk about a few things in Tish's room? I know now probably isn't the best time but I have to head back tomorrow."

Priestly's heart started to beat faster; he knew what Joe wanted to talk about. "Uh, sure." He led the way to Tish's room and sat down quietly on the bed while Joe closed the door and leaned against the wall.

"I'm assuming you know what I want to talk about."

Priestly fiddled with the comforter, refusing to make eye contact. "About me being a murderer?"

Joe flinched at the harsh term said in such a hesitant voice. "About everything really, but mostly that."

Priestly sighed and laid back on the bed before launching into a tale he didn't like to tell. He told Joe everything he felt relevant to the situation, which ended up being quite a bit. The longer he spoke the more exhausted he felt, his emotions wearing him down as the words tumbled out of his mouth over the next half hour. Eventually he stopped talking, everything that needed to be said, said.

Joe watched Priestly as he spoke, his emotions clear on his gaunt face. It was hard to listen to but Joe never interrupted or spoke, knowing Priestly wouldn't start again. When he finally finished talking Joe had to take a minute to gather himself.

"I'm sorry that you had to live like that Priestly."

Priestly just stared at the ceiling, "It is what it is and it's over now."

Joe nodded even though Priestly wasn't watching him. "In case you haven't already guessed I'm not going to turn you in or anything. You deserve better than going to prison."

A frown appeared on Priestly's face, "Why do I deserve anything? I killed someone."

Joe sat down on the bed, his large form making it dip so much that Priestly had to scoot away before rolling towards him. "I've killed a lot of people with the FBI Priestly and it's something you carry with you everyday, but you have to move on. You can't let it eat away at you. Whether you realize it or not, and regardless if you were straight or high you didn't initiate anything, you protected yourself from a serious threat and no one can blame you for that."

Priestly's eyebrows knitted together as he thought about Joe's words. He was right; he never went after his dad. Ever. Was it really that simple? Had he been blaming himself for something that wasn't even his fault? Yes it was wrong to kill, but whose to say that his father wouldn't have killed him that night. Hell, he had already stabbed him.

Seeing his words had given Priestly food for thought he stood and exited the room without a word.


	25. Chapter 25

**Last chapter.**

The next day Joe left to begin his job at his new office and Priestly decided to go home, against Tish's wishes. She hadn't wanted him to leave, still thinking he needed supervised but he had assured her that he wasn't gong to do anything harmful. He hadn't even allowed her to drive him home insisting that he needed the time for himself. He kissed her goodbye and exited her house to begin his walk to his apartment. Life had gotten so complicated lately that he wanted the simplicity of just walking down the sidewalk without talking. The sun shone brightly on him and he shivered at how pleasant he felt. About halfway to his house he was starting to breath harder and realized just how bad of shape he was in. If he was being honest with himself he didn't even think he could surf right now. He vowed to get himself back to where he used to be as quickly as possible.

When Priestly got home he immediately opened all the shades and windows, letting the sun shine into his apartment to chase away the dark feelings that still seemed to float around the small space. After a pleasant breeze was floating through his living room he dropped down onto his couch and closed his eyes taking in deep cleansing breaths. He didn't know why he kept hitting rock bottom but he promised himself to never do it again. This was the last time he was going to go through all this, rebuilding himself and his life. At least this time he had Tish.

Tish. How she was still here was a miracle in itself. Priestly smiled to himself, if one good thing came out of this entire ordeal it was the fact that Tish proved repeatedly that she wasn't going to leave him for anything. Every insecurity he had about their relationship was completely gone. In fact, every bad thought seemed to be gone and that was a first. For the first time in years he didn't feel weighed down by everything. He didn't feel like it was his fault his mom was dead and didn't feel it was his fault that his dad had attacked him until he fought back. He didn't want to drink, or get high. In fact he felt perfectly content. He knew he wasn't completely past everything but he felt satisfied that he had found a starting point. The first block had been set and now all he had to do was build on it.

Deciding being alone was just plain boring he grabbed his phone and called Tish who answered on the second ring.

"Is everything ok? Do you need me to come over?"

He laughed at her anxious tone, "Everything's good but I would like you to come over. I thought I just wanted some alone time but alone time is kind of boring."

She laughed, "I'll be right over and I'll bring food since you never have any."

"I never have any because you always just bring it."

"You're ridiculous, I'll be there soon. I love you."

No matter how many times he heard those words they still made his heart beat a little faster. "I love you too."

A short time later Tish walked into his house and felt happy that everything was open and bright. She set down the bags of food on the counter in the kitchen and walked over to the couch where Priestly grabbed her and hugged her close before tickling her.

"Someone's happy."

Priestly smiled and kissed her, "Why wouldn't I be. For the first time in years I know everything's going to be ok."

She hugged him close, "You have no idea how good it feels to hear those words."

Not wanting to ruin the moment but deciding he was starving he rolled Tish away from him and walked to the kitchen, "What'd you get because I'm starving."

She rose and followed him to the kitchen, "Greasy, fattening food because you need to eat and I know you love this gross stuff."

He swallowed a bite of cheeseburger, "It's not gross it's delicious, you just fail to realize that."

She rolled her eyes, "My loss."

"My gain, at least you won't steal my food. Have you heard from Joe about how his first day's going?"

She wiped her mouth and nodded, "He said everything's going well. He even likes his partner, which he said is a good thing. He said it makes it easier to have someone's back when you're not trying to kill them yourself."

Priestly laughed, "I'd think so."

When they were done eating Tish started walking towards the couch but was stopped by Priestly who grabbed her by the waist and directed her to his room. They climbed on the bed and Priestly flipped on the tv and wrapped an arm around Tish when she curled into his side.

"I love you Tish. I'm so sorry for everything."

She rubbed her hand underneath the hem of his shirt, forcing herself to ignore the fact that she could feel his ribs under his skin. "I love you too, and don't apologize. It's over and the only way we're going to look is forward ok?"

He nodded and pulled her on top of him. "Have I ever told you, you have awesome boobs?"

Tish groaned and leaned her forehead down on Priestly's chest. The comment was so him, so carefree and random that she couldn't' t help the bubble of laughter that escaped her. "Yes you have and I thank you for noticing."

He kissed her deeply and pulled her closer to him. After a few minutes she pulled back for air, "You are so horny lately."

He grinned, "I can't help it, we didn't do anything for so long."

She almost said it was because of him but caught herself. She didn't want to ruin this moment, to ruin this day so she kept her mouth shut and just enjoyed being with the man she loved.

A while later Tish gently rubbed his back while he slept in his large bed, a smile on her face. In this moment everything was right in the world. There wasn't pain, or addiction, or fear. Just love, unconditional and all consuming love.

**I seriously had no idea how to end this so this is what you get and hopefully the epilogue will do this story justice. Also here's a quote from Supernatural that sums it up pretty well.**

"**Endings are hard. Any chapped-ass monkey with a keyboard can poop out a beginning, but endings are impossible. You try to tie up every loose end, but you never can. The fans are always gonna bitch. There's always gonna be holes. And since it's the ending, it's all supposed to add up to something. I'm telling you, they're a raging pain in the ass." "No doubt - endings are hard. But then again... nothing ever really ends, does it?"**


	26. Epilogue

**Epilogue:**

Tish released a silent yawn as she woke and smiled at the empty spot next to her. She climbed out of her bed and slipped on her robe before silently walking into the living room. She paused behind the back of the couch and smiled at the sight in front of her. Priestly was sitting on the floor propped up against the couch with a baby boy on his lap, the two facing each other. The baby smiled and drooled before leaning forward and grabbing two handfuls of Priestly's hair with an excited squeal. Priestly laughed and grabbed him under the arms to pick him up. "You hungry? Of course, you always are. No worries buddy daddy is too. Maybe mommy will stop spying on us and make breakfast." He turned towards Tish and smiled cheekily.

"Nice hint," she said dryly. She leaned forward and kissed Priestly before kissing the baby on the cheek and walking to the kitchen. Priestly stood and cradled the six month old chubby child in his arms and followed her, sitting down at the table after placing the baby in a high chair.

He gabbed the food and spoon off the table that Tish had placed there and began to feed the smiling baby. "Yeah you like food huh. Yeah, Caiden likes food."

Tish smiled at the pair and turned back to the stove. She couldn't believe life was going so well, she felt so blessed everyday. After Priestly had hit rock bottom she and Joe had started to slowly build him back up. It had taken months to get him back to a healthy weight and even longer to get his mind where it needed to be. He had agreed to therapy after some pushing from Tish and after a few months he had made real progress, he now went every two weeks to keep himself in check. He was slowly starting to get past everything that had happened in his life from the loss of his mother to the abuse from his dad. He was finally learning to forgive himself for everything, learning that everything wasn't his fault.

On their one year anniversary Priestly had surprised her with a beautiful 1 carat diamond ring. She had been shocked that he had saved the money from their Vegas trip months ago. The real surprise came two weeks later when they found out she was six weeks pregnant. Priestly had had a hard time with it at first, feeling unprepared and insecure in his ability to raise a child.

"_How did this happen Tish? We're careful."_

"_We're not and you know that. You know we've gotten more reckless lately and this is the result. Aren't you happy about this?"_

"_I can't do this Tish, I can't be a dad. I don't even know how to act like one since I never had one. I can't do this."_

"_So what are you saying? Are you going to leave me?"_

"_No! I just need time to wrap my head around this. I love you, just be patient with me."_

"_I'm trying to be. I thought you'd be happy."_

"_I am I just… I can't explain it but just know that I love you."_

Tish had been patient and after a couple weeks he was beyond excited, all previous insecurities gone. She was happy that he now talked about his thoughts, fears, and emotions instead of bottling things up until they weighed him down. Priestly moved in to her house immediately after proposing and Tish was thankful for that during her pregnancy. The first few months had been rough but eventually the morning sickness faded and she could actually enjoy the experience. Reading books and taking classes had been the most fun thing with Priestly since he was taking it so seriously.

"_It says we need to practice your breathing. I'm supposed to help. Breath."_

"_I am breathing."_

"_No, like in the book sassy."_

"_I feel stupid."_

"_Don't feel stupid. The book says it's very important."_

"_I'm sick of the book, I'm ready to shove it up your ass."_

"_I don't think the book recommends that but maybe we could try something different than breathing exercises."_

"_Ya, lets do that." _

She finished the eggs and bacon and placed the plates on the table and laughed as Caiden spit his food all over Priestly who laughed and wiped off himself and the little boy. "You can't blow raspberries while you eat crazy." Tish smiled at the pair as she remembered when she had gone into labor.

"_Priestly, wake up. I think I'm having contractions."_

"_You're what? Are you sure?"_

"_Pretty sure."_

"_Do you think we should go to the hospital now or wait a bit?"_

"_Let's wait for now."_

"_Do you want me to get the book? We should practice your breathing more."_

"_Do you want me to hurt you?"_

"_Never mind, you're breathing fine."_

Thirteen hours and an epidural later she welcomed a beautiful boy named Caiden into the world. He was beautiful with milky white skin, a tuft of dark hair, rosy cheeks, and bright green eyes housed by long lashes. Everyone had instantly fallen in love with the little boy, especially Joe who now visited the house as much as he was allowed to. Speaking of.

"Knock, knock. Where's my nephew?"

Priestly picked Caiden up out of the high chair and handed him to Joe, "Good timing he needs changed."

Joe gave Priestly an exasperated look and took the little boy who smiled brightly at him. "Your daddy is not nice, no he's not."

Priestly finished his breakfast and walked over to Tish who was standing at the sink. He grabbed her around the waist from behind and nuzzled her neck affectionately. "Is Joe baby sitting today?"

Tish turned in his embrace and grinned, "Why yes he is. Can you think of anything you want to do today?"

Priestly's eyes darkened with lust, "I can think of a few things."

Joe reentered the kitchen and covered Caiden's eyes, "Don't look, mom and dad are being gross. That's how you get cooties."

Priestly laughed and stepped away from his future wife. He watched Tish go to the living room with Caiden and Joe and smiled softly. Life was perfect; more than he ever thought it could be for him. Marriage and kids had always been a fantasy of his but never a reality yet here it was right in front of him. He had a home, a family, something that had been taken from him at an early age. A flash of light caught his attention and he looked up at the kitchen light that was flickering. He reached up on his toes and screwed it in tighter, smiling when it stayed on and walked into the living room to sit with his family.

**Done, I hope you all enjoyed it! Many, many thanks to ****inspirationimagination**** and ****It'sJustADream for the reviews. I started another TIH story, it is up now titled Inferno (Rated M), check it out!**


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